Christopher Walken movie quotes

View Quote I'm the anti-christ and you've got me in a vendetta kind of mood.

View Quote I'm talking about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics and hightailed it outta there. Would've gotten away with it, but your son, ****-head that he is, left his driver's license... in a dead guy's hands.

View Quote I haven't killed anybody... [pause, interrupted by gunfire] since 1984. Goddamn his soul to burn for eternity in **** hell for making me get my hands dirty. Go over to this comedian's son's apartment, come back with something that tells me where that asshole went, so I can wipe this egg off my face and finish this ****-up family for good.

View Quote "Bless me"? Do you know what God did for me? He threw an 18-wheeled truck at me and bounced me into nowhere for five years! When I woke up, my girl was gone, my job was gone, my legs are just about useless... Blessed me? God's been a real sport to me!

View Quote Johnny Smith: [touching the mother of a serial killer] You knew? Didn't you?
Henrietta Dodd: You... you're a devil, sent from Hell!

View Quote Sarah Bracknell: You're looking good.
Johnny Smith: Yeah, it's called the coma diet - lose weight while you sleep.

View Quote From now on, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No blackjack no dope deals, no nothing. A nickel bag gets sold in the park, I want in. You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now it's my turn.

View Quote You think ambushing me in some nightclub's gonna stop what makes people take drugs? This country spends $100 billion a year on getting high, and it's not because of me. All that time I was wasting in jail, it just got worse. I'm not your problem. I'm just a businessman.

View Quote Dennis Gilley: I heard a rumor about you.
Frank White: What's that?
Dennis Gilley: I heard you got AIDS getting dicked up your ass in prison. That's what I heard.
Frank White: I thought about you every time I jerked off, dickhead.

View Quote Colonel Cutter: Time stands still for no ant.
General Mandible: Sacrifice. To some, it is just a word. To others it is a code. What matters is the colony...He's willing to live for the colony...to fight for the colony... to die for the colony.

View Quote General Mandible: [his first words] Workers. They're weak. They lack discipline. They lack commitment.
Foreman: [he comes in] General, I know there's been a glitch or two. But everybody is working full tilt as it is, and-
General Mandible: You can't help it, it's your nature. But in spite of your limitations, you are going to finish this tunnel on schedule. Come hell or high water. For now on, anyone who falls behind is going to have to explain themselves to Colonel Cutter. And let me assure you, the colonel is not as understanding as I am. Dismissed. Four more days, Cutter. Four more days. Then we can bid final farewell to their kind of incompetence.
Colonel Cutter: Yes, sir.
General Mandible: A fresh start. Imagine it!
Colonel Cutter: A strong colony, sir. A colony we can be proud of.
General Mandible: Yes, but we're not there yet. Cutter, we just got word that a termite army has mobilized against us.
Colonel Cutter: Against us?
General Mandible: We'll have to send troops deep into hostile territory to attack their colony.
Colonel Cutter: Attack a termite colony, sir? That's suicide.
General Mandible: Exactly. Do you have the list I asked for?
Colonel Cutter: Yes, General. [takes the list to General] These are the units loyal to the queen.
General Mandible: Hm. Then they're the ones we'll be sending. It's a shame. There's some fine officers here.
Colonel Cutter: Don't we need the queen's approval to declare war?
General Mandible: Our very next stop, Cutter.

View Quote Colonel Cutter: We're on schedule. Work is completed on "A" section sir, including a path through "D" section now.
General Mandible: We need to push harder, Cutter. I want double shifts around-the-clock. We can't afford to let up. Is that clear?
Colonel Cutter: Crystal, sir.
General Mandible: Good. What about section...
Guard Ant: [he comes in] Excuse me, sir.
General Mandible: This had better be important.
Guard Ant: Well, it's about the termite battle, sir. The enemy was destroyed, but I'm afraid it was a disaster for our troops, as well.
General Mandible: Well, that's terrible. Terrible.
Guard Ant: There is a better good news, sir. One soldier did make it back.
Colonel Cutter: No kidding.
General Mandible: What did you say?
Guard Ant: Word is spreading through the colony. The queen requested a meeting with the war hero.
General Mandible: [on hearing that one soldier survived the battle with the termites] Damn! [covering his true feelings] Good. damn good. Uh, I'll handle this. [he walks to Z and Ant] Congratulations, soldier. [chuckling] Well, you're a little short for a war hero, aren't you?
Z Marion-4195: A war hero? Sir. I-I don't actually think that I'm a hero.
General Mandible: [takes Z] Good. I don't like heroes.
[the worker ants cheers]
Z Marion-4195: But, sir. You don't understand. I... I didn't do anything. I mean, it was all horrible. It was just a massacre. A-A massacre upon a massacre.
General Mandible: [to Z] That's good, soldier. Now, wave.
[the worker ants cheering, Z waves his arm, the worker ants continue cheering]
Azteca: There was nothing you could do, Weaver. You didn't know they were going to war.
Weaver: I just feel horrible. Poor Z. I should have never let him go.
Azteca: Wait a minute. That's no soldier. That's Z!
Weaver: Z? The little guy made it! [he chuckles]
General Mandible: Let's go, soldier.
[the worker ants cheering]

View Quote [after one of the businessmen he convened falls to his death] So, does anyone else want to drop out?

View Quote Max Zorin: [the morning after Bond sleeps with May Day] You slept well?
James Bond: A little restless but I got off eventually.

View Quote May Day: [In Zorin's dirigible looking at San Francisco] Wow! What a view...
Max Zorin: ...to a kill!

View Quote Do you know how you got that dent, in your top lip? Way back, before you were born, I told you a secret, then I put my finger there and I said "Shhhhh!"

View Quote I'm an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why.

View Quote Study your math, kids. Key to the universe!

View Quote Nick: What do you think you are, God?
Michael: We gotta play with more bullets...That means we gotta play each other...You gotta listen to me. You wanta stay down here and die?...Go ahead Nickie. It's gonna be all right...Don't worry, in five minutes we're gonna be outa here...It's gonna be all right, Nickie, go ahead. Shoot. Shoot, Nickie.

View Quote Nick: I hope they send us where the bullets are flyin' and the fightin's the worst, huh?
Green Beret veteran: **** it.
Michael: Well, what's it like over there? Will you tell us anything?
Green Beret veteran: **** it.

View Quote Nick: Did you hear about the happy Roman? He was "GLAD HE ATE HER"!

View Quote I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here... Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them... Wait. She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They've got my tooth. I want it back.

View Quote I suppose now we have a conversation where you enlighten me. How many more of you are out there? Enlighten me. Where are the rest of your compadres? Enlighten me.

View Quote Oh, shit! [collapses dead]

View Quote A duck goes into a pharmacy wanting some lip balm. The druggist asks if that will be cash or credit, and the duck replies "Put it on my bill!"

View Quote [Calvin returns to the shelter and reports to his family]
Calvin: Son, stay out of the adult bookstore.
Adam: How come?
Calvin: Poison gas is in there.

View Quote [in 1997, the Mom's Malt Shop has fallen into disrepair]
Archbishop Melcher: All of these things, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Heroin Anonymous..
Drunk: There is a Heroin Anonymous?
Melcher: Will you please...shut up?
Drunk: Sorry.
Melcher: All of these things ask you to believe in something greater than yourself. Well, I have turned my eyes skyward a time or two, and I have seen nothing, except an airplane or two, which I cannot afford to get on!
[Ground rumbles]
Drunk: Earthquake!
Melcher: Let it be. [Drunk runs for cover. Floor breaks and Calvin, wearing a radiation suit rises]
Calvin Webber: Welcome! [shines flashlight at Archbishop Melcher, who just hid nearby] Leave my elevator alone.

View Quote [to Mowgli] Akela? Oh, you didn't hear? Shere Khan... killed him. Must've been on account of you.

View Quote [to the Monkeys] Seize him!

View Quote Just one thing we need to reach our full potential. Bring me that Red Flower, and we will rule this jungle. I will protect you, and you will want for nothing ever again.

View Quote You tell Domino Harvey that nobody messes with Mark Heiss! Nobody messes with the WB!

View Quote [After a particularly unpleasant day of filming the bounty hunters' reality TV show, to Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green, the hosts] This is going to jump-start your careers!

View Quote [As he chews gum] It's like... Night... of the Living Dead!

View Quote Wilbur: [to Tracy] This is America, babe, you gotta think big to be big.
Edna: Big ain’t the problem in this family, Wilbur...

View Quote Velma Von Tussle: Incredible! I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf and you would remain completely obtuse!
Wilbur: Obtuse?
Velma: Yes, obtuse!
Wilbur: I flunked geometry-
Velma: Yeah, well, and biology too, no doubt!

View Quote Wilbur: [to a sobbing Edna, who thinks that he has been cheating on her with Velma] Honey, it took me five years to figure out you were flirting! How could I ever?

View Quote A man can be an artist ... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece. I have nothing else to say.

View Quote A bullet always tells the truth.

View Quote He'll deliver more justice in a weekend than ten years of your courts and tribunals. Just stay out of his way.

View Quote [to Paul] Do you know why? I killed him because he was a man who believed in the rules of the heart. But the heart is not meant to rule. In other words, your father was a weak man.

View Quote Deal with this prophet. Send assassins.

View Quote Emperor Shaddam IV: As a servant of the Imperium, you will bow at my feet.
Paul: Your feet?! You'll be lucky to keep your head.

View Quote Only one can survive.

View Quote Mike: My real name isn't Mike, it's just a nickname from where I used to work.
Joanna: Where?
Mike: Microsoft.
Ted: NASA.
Vic: Disney.
Stan: AOL.
Joanna: Is that why the women are so slow?

View Quote Walter: She's not a robot. She never was. I couldn't do it.
Mike: Why not?
Walter: Because she's not a science project. Because I didn't marry something from RadioShack.
Mike: That's a shame.
Joanna: No, that's a man.