ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


View Quote Amber: [to one of the dancers] Do that again, and there'll be stumps where your feet are, you got that? You little who- [Link walks up] -Holy moly.
Link: [presents Amber with a ring] It’s time.
[Amber squeals with delight, and kisses Link]
Velma: Amber! [they break apart] Save your personal life for the camera, sweetie! Ooh, shiny! [sends Amber off to makeup for more powder]
View Quote Amber: I lost, Mom, Let’s just deal with it!
Velma: No, you did not lose! [as she pulls the tallies out of her brassiere] You cannot have lost because I switched the damn tallies!
Edna: Smile, Ms. Crab Meat! [camera pans to reveal her and Wilbur standing behind a live television camera] You’re on Candid Camera!
Wilbur: That was a good shot, don’t you think?
Cameraman: Not bad!
View Quote Amber: I’m calling because I have some information about your daughter’s whereabouts.
Edna: What?
Amber: Right now, as we speak, your daughter has entered a hotbed of moral... !urpentine.
View Quote Amber: You have to vote for a person, Corny, not one of the Himalayas.
Corny: [tightly] Always the charmer, Amber!
View Quote Corny: And now it’s time to say goodbye to our very own fun-lovin’, free-wheelin’ little Brenda. Come on up here, Brenda! [Brenda does so] Brenda will be taking a little leave of absence from the show. How long are you gonna be gone, Brenda?
Brenda: [smiling nervously] Just nine months.
View Quote Corny: Gee, Velma, how do you fire Corny Collins from The Corny Collins Show? [walks off]
Velma: [starts to speak and then pauses, frustrated] They do it all the time on “Lassie”!
View Quote Edna: No one is auditioning for anything in this household!
Tracy: But why not? Why not?
Edna: Because dancing is not your future. One day, you’re going to own "Edna’s Occidental Laundry".
Tracy: I don’t want to be a laundress, I want to be famous!
Edna: If you want to be famous, learn how to take blood out of car upholstery; That’s a skill you can take right to the bank!
View Quote Edna: Will you turn that racket down? I'm trying to iron here.
Tracy: Ma, its not racket, its the Corny Collins Show!
Edna: Well, it's turning your brains into mud!
View Quote Inez: [singing] Seaweed’s got a girlfriend!
Seaweed: Shut up!
Inez: You.
Maybelle: [to Seaweed and Penny] Oh, so this is love? [pauses, then smiles] Well, love is a gift; a lot of people don’t remember that. So you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin’ at you from a never-ending parade of stupid.
Penny: [deadpan] Oh, you've met my mother?
View Quote Link: I was just at home, practising my new twist on “The Twist”, when I overheard it on the news. I can’t believe Tracy savagely bludgeoned an Eagle Scout! That’s just not like her!
Edna: But it’s not true! I was there! He didn't even bleed!
View Quote Maybelle: [watching Edna walk in] Boy, if we get any more white people in here, this is gonna be a suburb.
View Quote Maybelle: Miz Edna, is it? Hi, I mean, you don’t have to rush off, you know.
Edna: Well, I do. I left my iron on.
Maybelle: Oh, your iron? Well, before you go, are you sure you wouldn't like to have a little something to eat? [shows Edna the soul food spread on the table]
Edna: [after a long moment] Is that braised?
View Quote Mr. Flak: Oh, and Mr. Larkin, perhaps you’d like to share with the rest of the class Patrick Henry’s immortal last words?
Link: [pause] Kiss my ass?
[Amber gasps in shock]
View Quote Penny: I am now a checkerboard chick! [kisses Seaweed]
Mrs. Pingleton: [sees this on TV, and screams in horror] Penny, no! [tumbles over the coffee table]
View Quote Penny: I’m very pleased and scared to be here.
Maybelle: Now, honey, we got more reason to be scared on your street.