Mike
My real name isn't Mike, it's just a nickname from where I used to work.
Joanna
Where?
Mike
Microsoft.
NASA.
Disney.
AOL.
Joanna
Is that why the women are so slow?
Joanna
Bobbie! Bobbie... this isn't you...
That's right, Joanna! This isn't me, it's a whole new me. I'm happy, and I'm healthy, because I understand what's important in life.
Joanna
Yes, your new book!
That's right! That's what's important, my new cookbook. And my husband, and my family, and making a perfect home. It's a lesson every gal needs to learn, especially you. I'm your friend, Joanna. I'm going to help you. You need me.
Joanna
You stay away from me!
You are driven.
Joanna
Well, sometimes...
And you're selfish! You want to rule the world! I can fix you. I can change you.
Joanna
What... have... they... done... to... you?
Let's get busy!
Joanna
We're trespassing!
Only if we get caught.
Walter
She's not a robot. She never was. I couldn't do it.
Mike
Why not?
Walter
Because she's not a science project. Because I didn't marry something from RadioShack.
Mike
That's a shame.
Joanna
No, that's a man.
Joanna
Cupcakes anyone?
Cupcakes?! Hey, right on time. Joe, these are smokin'. [to Bobbie] Why can't you make stuff like this?
Why don't you?
Because I have a penis.
Joanna
How do I look?
Can I be perfectly honest?
Joanna
Mm-hmmmm.
You kind of look like Betty Crocker.
Joanna
I know.
Roger
At Betty Ford.
Walter
First of all, we are in the country now. So no more black.
Joanna
No more black? Are you insane?
Walter
You heard me. Only high-powered, neurotic, castrating, Manhattan career bitches wear black. Is that what you want to be?
Joanna
Ever since I was a little girl.
