Brian O'Halloran movie quotes

View Quote [to Veronica] Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot! [a guy standing near the door begins to walk off] Hey! Hey, you! Get back here!

View Quote I'm not the type of person who will disrupt things just so I can shit comfortably.

View Quote A woman makes a guy ****; it's standard. A guy makes a woman ****, it's talent.

View Quote You never go ass to mouth!

View Quote What'd you do that for?! You realise he just thinks you're trying to get him into a three-way with us now, don't you?

View Quote Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.

View Quote I'm not even supposed to be here today!

View Quote Customer at Quick Stop: Are you even supposed to be here today?
Dante Hicks: Don't get me started.

View Quote Teen #1: Jay says you guys had a Star Wars themed wedding, and you tied the knot dressed as Storm Troopers.
Teen #2: Yeah, and he says you're the bitch and you're the butch.
Dante Hicks: I'm the BITCH?
Randal Graves: Well, if we were gay, that's certainly the way I'd see it.
Dante Hicks: Will you shut up!
Teen #1: [to Teen #2] Holy shit, dude. The honeymoon's over.

View Quote Shannon: That's it. You're dead, mallrat. I'm gonna **** you up beyond repair!
Brodie: Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.
Gill: What, like the back of a Volkswagen?

View Quote Brandi: Second suitor, would you ever make whoopee in public?
Brodie: Already did once today. [points to Rene and smirks] But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control. So he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in, and the plane rights itself. It lands safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever you know, away and deboard. Nobody mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
[The audience is stunned speechless]
Gill: Well, did he ****, or what?
Brodie: Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

View Quote Brandi: Suitor Number Three, is your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake, or a jackhammer?
Gill: Definitely a jackhammer. I'm in there with some pressure, and when I'm done you're not the same as before. You're changed.
Brodie: Where do you come up with this shit?! That is the cheesiest response to an honest question I've ever heard! I saw you kiss and it wasn't even anything like that!
Gill: Who the hell did you see me kiss?
Brodie: Some dude backstage. I don't know who he was, but he seemed unimpressed.
Gill: I didn't kiss any guy backstage. I swear! I'm not gay.
Brodie: Hey, suitor-ette, this guy's a homophobe! You heard how repulsed he sounded! Is this the kind of guy you wanna spend a vacation with, this hate-monger?
Gill: I don't hate gay people!
Brodie: So you love them?
Gill: Yes! I mean, no.
Brodie: Textbook closet case. Self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality.