Brendan Gleeson movie quotes

View Quote Ken: We shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
Ray: Somehow I believe, Ken, that the balance shall tip in the favour of culture, like a big fat **** **** **** black girl on a see-saw opposite... a dwarf.

View Quote Ken: You from the States?
Jimmy: Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ken: I'll try not to... Just try not to say anything too loud or crass.

View Quote Ken: We are doing what I want to do, got it?
Ray: Of course, which I presume will involve culture.
Ken: Oh, we shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
Ray: Somehow I believe, Ken, that the balance shall tip in the favour of culture, like a big fat **** **** **** black girl on a see-saw opposite... a dwarf.

View Quote Marvelous creatures dragons, aren't they?

View Quote Alastor Moody. Ex-Auror, Ministry malcontent, and your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I'm here because Dumbledore asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end. Any questions?

View Quote [Malfoy is about to curse Harry for calling him pathetic] Oh, no you don't, sonny! [Turns him into a ferret] I'll teach you to curse somebody when their back is turned! [Flips him up and down in the air] You stinking, cowardly, scummy...!

View Quote The limits of His mercy have not been set.

View Quote Father James: Do you use pornography at home?
Milo Herlihy: I feel I've exhausted all the possibilities of pornography.
Father James: All of them?
Milo Herlihy: Well, nearly all of them. I'm onto transexual pornography at the moment. Chicks with dicks, you know.

View Quote Father James: [while hearing Confession] What do you want to say to me? I'm here to listen to whatever you have to say.
Threatener: I'm going to kill you, Father.
Father James: Certainly a startling opening line.

View Quote I do worry sometimes I might just be entertaining myself while staving off the inevitable.

View Quote Priest: Do you think God gives a damn about miniature donkeys, Colm?
Colm Doherty: I fear he doesn't. And I fear that's where it's all gone wrong.

View Quote Priest: Wouldn't you say punching a policeman is a sin?
Colm Doherty: Ah here. If punching a policeman is a sin, we may as well just pack up and go home.

View Quote Sheriff Hank Keough: I... I... I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.
Hector Cyr: Well, they conceal information like that in books.

View Quote Kelly Scott: His scales were oval. He's an Asian Crocodile.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Why... why would he come here? I mean, it's impossible. Asia. How would he get here?
Hector Cyr: Obviously some asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down the toilet.

View Quote Sheriff Hank Keough: [after seeing her lead a blindfolded cow to the crocodile] Ma'am, your husband Bernie, you didn't by any chance lead him to the lake blindfolded?
Mrs. Bickerman: If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it!

View Quote If you're going to find the Brown family, you're going to Get through me.

View Quote I don't do nothin' for no one for nothin'.

View Quote I want those petits fours NOW!

View Quote [by a display of apples, the store's only undecayed produce] Mmm... irradiated.

View Quote You wouldn't think it — needing rain so badly. Not in **** England.

View Quote Just so you know, I don't take cheques or credit cards!

View Quote [During the celebration of their victory after a bloody war and attempting to form an alliance with Troy] Princes of Troy, on our last night together, Queen Helen and I salute you.

View Quote I accept your challenge, and tonight, I'll drink to your bones.

View Quote [shouting to Helen after Paris retreats] IS THIS WHAT YOU LEFT ME FOR?!?

View Quote Give me the Smurfette! Now!

View Quote [last words] I'm gonna miss you, Smurfs.

View Quote He's right, Grace. I'm not his father.

View Quote A glorious resurrection will spring from the depths... to which these miserable creatures have fallen. In God, they will find their true home.

View Quote Walter 'Monk' McGinn: Well that was bloody Shakespearian. Do you know who Shakespeare was, boyo? The fella who wrote the King James Bible.

View Quote Walter 'Monk' Mcginn: I've got forty-four notches on my club. Do you know what they're for? They're to remind me what I owe God when I die. My father was killed in battle, too. In Ireland, in the streets, fighting those who would take as their privilege what could only be got and held by the decimation of a race. That war is a thousand years old and more. We never expected it to follow us here. It didn't. It was waiting for us when we landed. Your father tried to carve out a corner of this land for his tribe. That was him, that was his dead rabbits. I often wondered... if he had lived a bit longer, would he have wanted a bit more?

View Quote Moody: For those of you who haven't taken Polyjuice Potion before, fair warning: It tastes like goblin piss.
Fred: Have lots of experience with that, do you, Mad-Eye? ...Just trying to diffuse the tension.

View Quote Moody: Potter, you're underage, which means you still have the Trace on you.
Harry: What's the Trace?
Moody: If you sneeze, the Ministry will know who wipes your nose. Point is, we'll have to use those means of transport the Trace can't detect: Brooms, Thestrals, and the like; we'll go in pairs. That way if anyone's out there waiting for us, and I reckon there will be... they won't know which Harry Potter is the real one.
Harry: The real one?
Moody: [takes out Polyjuice Potion] I reckon that you're familiar with this particular brew.
Harry: [recognizes it; sarcastically] No, absolutely not.
Hermione: Told you he'd take it well.

View Quote Moody: All right, Granger. As discussed.
Harry: [as Hermione plucks a piece of his hair off his head] Blimey, Hermione.
Moody: Straight in here if you please. [Hermione dips the hair into the flask] For those of you who haven't taken Polyjuice Potion before, fair warning: it tastes like goblin piss.
Fred: Have lots of experience with that, do you, Mad-Eye? [Moody glares at him] ...Just trying to diffuse the tension.
[Fred, George, Mundungus, Fleur, Hermione, and Ron take a sip of the Polyjuice Potion and transform into the six Potters]
Fred and George: Wow, we're identical!
Moody: Not yet, you're not.
[All seven, including the real Harry, put on the same clothes]
George: Haven't got anything a bit more sporting, have you?
Fred: Yeah, I don't really fancy this color.
Moody: Well, fancy this, you're not you. So shut it and strip.
Mundungus: All right, all right.
Moody: [to Harry] You'll need to change too, Potter.
Fleur: [while undressing] Bill, look away. I'm hideous.
Ron: I knew she was lying about that tattoo.
Hermione: [putting on Harry's glasses] Harry, your eyesight really is awful.
Moody: Right, then. We'll be pairing off. Each Potter will have a protector. Mundungus, stick tight to me. I wanna keep an eye on ya. As for Harry...
Everyone: Yes?
Moody: The real Harry. Where the devil are you, anyway?
Harry: [steps in] Here.
Moody: You'll ride with Hagrid.
Hagrid: [to Harry] I brought you here 16 years ago when you were no bigger than a Bowtruckle. Seems only right that I should be the one to take you away now.

View Quote [After raiding a peaceful caravan] I am what I am. Someone has to be.

View Quote [To Guy] If the war's to be now or later, I would have it now.

View Quote Reynald: [Guy goes to see Reynald in Prison, Reynald is dancing] The King is in heaven?
Guy de Lusignan: Yes.
Reynald: You had the Templars kill Balian?
Guy de Lusignan: Yes, and now, give me a war.
Reynald: That is what I do.

View Quote Who'll pinch me to wake me up? Who will laugh at me when I fall? Whose breath will I listen for so that I may sleep? Whose hand will I hold so that I may walk?

View Quote I often wondered if you and my son bonded because neither of you was fond of speaking. You're very kind. You must pardon my manners; I haven't slept in many nights..

View Quote Mrs. Clack: [after Edward Walker tells the group he has sent Ivy to the towns to fetch medicines] What have you done?
Edward Walker: He is the victim of a crime.
Mrs. Clack: We have agreed never to go back. Never
Edward Walker: What was the purpose of our leaving? Don't forget, it was out of hope of something good and right.
Robert Percy: You should not have made decisions without us!
Edward Walker: I'm guilty, Robert! I made a decision of a heart, I cannot look into another's eyes and see the same look I see in August's without justification! It is too painful, I cannot bear it!
Mrs. Clack: You have jeopardized everything we have made.
Edward Walker: Who do you think will continue this place, this life? Do you plan to live forever? It is in them that our future lies, it is in Ivy and Lucius that this way of life will continue. Yes I have risked, I hope I am always able to risk everything for the just and right cause. If we did not make this decision, we could never again call ourselves innocent, and that in the end is what we have protected here, innocence! That I'm not ready to give up.
August Nicholson: Let her go. If it ends, it ends. We can move towards hope, that's what's beautiful about this place. We cannot run from heartache. My brother was slain in the towns, the rest of my family died here. Heartache is a part of life, we know that now. Ivy is running toward hope, let her run. If this place is worthy, she'll be successful in her quest.
Mrs. Clack: How could you have sent her. She is blind.
Edward Walker: She is more capable than most in this village. And she is led by love. The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe.

View Quote [to Poundstone] You cannot just hand this country over to an exile no one's ever heard of, and a bunch of interns from Washington.

View Quote Miller: I thought we were all on the same side?
Martin Brown: Don't be naïve...