Buzz Lightyear How dare you open a Space Ranger's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!
Voiced by Tim Allen 
Toy Story (1995) · 99 quotes
Toy Story (1995) · 99 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Toy Story (1995): in 48 of its 99 quotes
Most scenes with: Woody (32), Rex (12), Hamm (12)
To infinity and beyond!
More lines from Buzz Lightyear
6 quotes Buzz Lightyear Buzz Lightyear Years of academy training, wasted!
Buzz Lightyear (insanely)
Gone! It's all gone! All of it's gone! Bye-bye! Whoo! See ya!
Buzz Lightyear Don't you get it?! [points to a doll's hat on his head] You see the hat?! I am Mrs. Nesbitt!
Buzz Lightyear (weeping)
But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron is a bit much, but the hat...
Buzz Lightyear Buzz Lightyear to the recsue!
Scenes with Buzz Lightyear
41 scenes
[Mr. Potato Head has put his eyes, mouth and nose in a position that reflects a famous Picasso work]
Hey Hamm, look at me! I'm Picasso!
I don't get it.
You uncultured swine!
I was close to being scared that time.
Buzz I'm Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace.
Oh, I'm so glad you're not a dinosaur!
How come YOU don't have a laser, Woody?
It's not a laser. It's a little light bulb that blinks.
What's with him?
Laser envy.
So where are you from, Singapore? Hong Kong?
Buzz Well no, I'm actually stationed at the Gamma Quadrant, Sector Four, as an elite Universe Protection Unit. I protect the Galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!
And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not actually from Mattel, I'm from a smaller company that was purchased in a levereged buy-out.
Look, we're all very impressed with Andy's new toy.
Buzz Toy?
T-O-Y! Toy!
Buzz Excuse me, but I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger."
The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are preschool toys present.
They must have kicked him out early this year.
Buzz Sheriff, this is no time to panic.
This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move to a new house in two days, and it's all your fault!
Buzz My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place--
Well, if you hadn't shown up inside your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me--
Buzz Don't talk to me about importance! Because of you, the future of this entire universe is in jeopardy!
What?! What are you talking about?!
Buzz Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals his weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!!!
[long pause; Woody stares at Buzz, incredulous and dumbfounded] [exploding with rage]
You...are...a...toy-y-y!! You are not the real Buzz Lightyear! Oh, you're an action figure! You are a child's play thing!!
Buzz You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell.
Oh, yeah?! Well good riddance, ya loony!
Sergeant It's a Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!
Way to go, Idaho!
Gee, I'd better shave! [plucks off his moustache and tosses it aside]
Buzz I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Oh, great, and if anyone attacks us, we can blink 'em to death!
Buzz [after witnessing Sid blow up a toy]
I could've stopped him.
Buzz, I would love to see you try. Of course, I'd love to see you as a crater.
Tuesday's plastic corrosion awareness meeting was, I think, a big success. We'd all like to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. Thank you, Mr. Spell.
Mr. Spell [mechanically]
You're welcome.
Hey guys, RC's trying to say something! What is it, boy?
He says that this was no accident!
What?
What are you saying?
I'm saying that "Humpty Dumpty" was pushed...by Woody!
What?!
Oh, come on now, you don't think I really meant to kill Buzz, do you? Potato Head?
That's Mr. Potato Head to you, backstabbing murderer!
Buzz I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Oh. Good.
Buzz [darkly]
But we're not on my planet. Are we?
No.
[Buzz starts beating up Woody]
Buzz This is an intergalactic emergency. I need to commandeer your vessel to Sector 12. Who's in charge here?
Squeaky Aliens
[pointing up]
The Claw!
1st Alien
The Claw is our master.
2nd Ailen
The Claw chooses who will go and who will stay.
This is ludicrous.
Listen, Lightsnack. You stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me.
Buzz What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip (adhesive tape)?
[slides under his ship with a skateboard] [pulls him back out]
And another thing. Stop with this spaceman thing! It's getting on my nerves!
How did I get stuck with you as a moving buddy?
Everyone else was picked.
Buzz [Sid's little sister Hannah is playing tea party with a dressed up Buzz] [through voice-box]
There's a secret mission in uncharted space! Let's go!
Really? That is so-o-o-o-o interesting. Would you like some more tea, Mrs. Nesbitt? It's so nice you could join us on such late notice. What a lovely hat, Mrs. Nesbitt. It goes quite well with your head.
[Woody finds Buzz dressed up as "Mrs. Nesbitt" and in the company of two headless dolls]
Buzz? Are you okay?
Buzz ['drunk' and tormented]
Gone! It's all gone. All of it's gone! Bye-bye! Whoo! See ya!
What happened to you?
Buzz One minute you're defending the whole galaxy, and suddenly you find yourself suckin' down Darjeeling with Marie Antoinette and her little sister. [the headless dolls wave]
Don't you get it?! You see the hat?! I am Mrs. Nesbitt!!
Snap out of it, Buzz! [opens Buzz's helmet, slaps Buzz across the face with the detached arm, then closes the helmet]
Buzz [calmly]
You're right. I'm sorry, I am just a little depressed, that's all. I can get through this. [breaks down again] Oh, I'm a sham!
Hey who's got my hat?
Shark [wearing Woody's hat]
Look, I'm Woody! Howdy, howdy, howdy!
Oh, what? Wha-a-a-a-t? These are plastic. He can't fly.
Buzz They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I can fly.
No you can't.
Buzz Uh, yes I can.
You can't!
Buzz Can!
Buzz I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!
Okay, Mr. Lightbeer, prove it.
For crying out loud, they're all in boxes, you idiot!
They're getting bigger!
Wait, there's a nice little one over there.
[girl turns round, revealing the full length of the box she's carrying; the toys scream]
Hey guys, look! It's the real Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz You're mocking me, aren't you?
Oh no-no-no-no. Buzz, look! An Alien!
Buzz Where?!
[slaps knees and laughs breathlessly]
[Woody is trapped in a box in Sid's room, whilst Buzz is strapped to a rocket]
Hey Buzz, get over here and see if you can get this toolbox off me! [Buzz looks away, depressed] Oh, come on Buzz, I... I can't do this without you. I need your help.
Buzz [pitiful]
I can't help. I can't help anyone.
Sure you can, Buzz, you can get me outta here. And then I'll get that rocket off you, and we can make a break for Andy's house!
Buzz Andy's house. Sid's house. What's the difference?
Buzz, you've had a big fall, you're must not be thinking clearly...
Buzz No Woody, for the first time I am thinking clearly. You were right all along. I'm not a Space Ranger, I'm just a toy, a stupid little insignificant toy.
Whoa, wait a minute. Being a toy is a lot better than being a "Space Ranger."
Buzz Yeah, right.
No, it is. Look, over in that house is a kid who thinks you're the greatest, and it's not because you're a Space Ranger, it's because you're a toy. You are his toy.
Buzz But why would Andy want me?
[incredulous]
Why would Andy want you?! Look at you! You're a Buzz Lightyear! Any other toy would give up its moving parts just to be you! You've got wings! You glow in the dark! You talk! Your helmet does that, that, that whoosh thing! You are a cool toy! As a matter of fact, you're too cool. I mean, what chance does a toy like me have against a Buzz Lightyear action figure? All I do is... [yanks his pullstring] Why would Andy ever want to play with me, when he's got you? I'm the one that should be strapped to that rocket.
[Sid is about to light the rocket Buzz is attached to] [through voice box, without having his string pulled]
Reach for the sky-y-y-y-y!
This town ain't big enough for the two of us!
What?
Somebody's poisoned the water hole!
It's busted.
[Sid reacts, disturbed]
That's right, I'm talking to you, Sid Phillips. We don't like being blown up, Sid. Or smashed, or ripped apart.
"We"?
That's right, your toys.
[all the mutant toys come to life and surround Sid, who is terrified]
From now on you must take good care of your toys. Because if you don't, we'll find out, Sid. [spinning his head around] We toys can see e-e-e-every-y-ythi-i-i-ing. [comes to life] So play nice.
[Sid runs away, screaming in terror]
[Woody and Buzz are attached to a rocket that is about to explode]
Aaaagh! This is the part where we blow up!
Buzz Not today!
[Buzz opens his wings, freeing himself and Woody from the rocket before it blows to pieces; they begin to glide through the air]
Buzz! You're flying!
Buzz This isn't flying! This is falling, with style!
To infinity and beyond!
[Listening to the baby monitor to track Andy's Christmas presents] [teasing]
Buzz, you're not worried, are you?
Buzz No, no, no. [pause] Are you?
[the sound of barking is suddenly heard over the baby monitor]
Wow, a puppy!
[Woody and Buzz exchange nervous smiles]
So, where you from? Singapore? Hong Kong?
Buzz Well, no. I'm actually stationed at the Gamma Quadrant, Sector Four. As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, I protect the Galaxy from the threat of invasion from the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!
Oh, really? I'm from Playskool.
And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel. I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leverage buyout.
All right. That's enough! Look, we're all very impressed with Andy's new toy.
Buzz Toy?
T-O-Y. Toy!
Buzz Excuse me. I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger."
The word I'm searching for; I can't say, because there's preschool toys present.
Buzz I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Oh, well, that's good.
Buzz But we're not on my planet. Are we?
No.
[they start fighting]
Buzz According to my navi-computer, the...
Buzz Sheriff, this is no time to panic!
This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move from their house in two days, and it's all your fault!
Buzz My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place...
Oh, yeah?! Well, if you hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me...
Buzz Don't talk to me about importance! Because of you, the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy!
WHAT?!! What are you talkin' about?!
Buzz Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals his weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
YOU... ARE... A... TOY!!! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear! You're a-- Aw, you're an action figure! You are a child's plaything!
Buzz You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell. [exits]
Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony! [sarcastically] "Rendezvous with Star Command."
[the rocket Woody and Buzz are strapped to launches into the air, taking the two into the sky] [screams]
This is the part where we blow up!
Buzz Not today! [activates his wings, breaking free from the rocket, and soars with Woody]
Hey, Buzz! You're flying!
Buzz This isn't flying. This is falling with style!
[The next morning, Woody opens the lid and looks from side to side then opens it] [grunts]
Finally! [sighs while feeling his head to find his hat missing] Hey, who's got my hat?
Shark [pops up with Woody's hat on his head]
Look, I'm Woody. Howdy, howdy, howdy.
Buzz Lightyear Say there, Lizard and Stretchy Dog, let me show you something. It looks as though I've been accepted into your culture. Your chief, Andy inscribed his name on me.
Rex and Slinky Dog
[He lifts his boot to show Andy's name written on it]
Wow!
With permanent ink too!
Buzz Lightyear [Woody shakes in anger]
Well, I must get back to repairing my ship.
[Woody watches this and lifts his boot up to look at Andy's name on it when Bo comes up beside him]
Don't let it get to you, Woody.
Uh... let what? I don't, uh...... What do you mean? Who?
I know Andy's excited about Buzz. But you know he'll always have a special place for you.
Yeah, like the attic. [chuckling]
All right, that's it!
Buzz Lightyear Hmm. Unidirectional bonding strip.
Robot Mr. Lightyear wants more tape.
[Snake uses his mouth to get the end of the tape and pulls it. Buzz hums as he works underneath his ship on a skateboard when Woody pulls him out]
Listen, Light Snack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me.
Buzz Lightyear What are you talking about? [to Robot] Where's that bonding strip?
[He rolls underneath his ship but Woody pulls him back again]
And another thing, stop with this spaceman thing! It's getting on my nerves.
Buzz Lightyear Are you saying you wanna lodge a complaint with Star Command?
Oh-ho, okay! Ooh, well, so you wanna do it the hard way, huh?
Buzz Lightyear Don't even think about it, cowboy.
Oh, yeah, tough guy?
Buzz Lightyear [He opens his helmet and Buzz starts gasping and choking as he crotches down and holds Woody's leg to support himself. When he stops, he sniffs the air and realizes something]
The air isn't.... toxic. [to Woody] How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets! [puts his helmet back on]
You actually think you're the Buzz Lightyear? [laughs] Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! Hey, guys, look! It's the real Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz Lightyear You're mocking me, aren't you?
Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Buzz, look, an alien!
Buzz Lightyear Where?!
[Woody laughs and falls over, with Buzz not amused until they hear a dog barking and Andy's next-door neighbor, Sid Phillips, shouting] [first words]
Yes! [cackles]
Whoa!
It's Sid!
Don't move!
They must've kicked him out early this year.
Oh, no, not Sid!
Who is it this time?
I... I can't... I can't tell. Hey, where's Lenny?
Lenny Right here, Woody.
Oh, no, I can't bear to watch one of these again.
Buzz Lightyear [Buzz joins them]
What's going on?
Nothing that concerns you spacemen, just us toys.
Buzz Lightyear I'd better take a look anyway. [uses Lenny to look at Combat Carl] Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?
That's why, Sid.
Buzz Lightyear [Woody actually points Lenny at the dog]
Hmm, sure is a hairy fella.
[realizing his mistake of identifying Scud as Sid to Buzz]
No, no, that's Scud, you idiot! [moves Lenny up to Sid so that Buzz can see him properly] That is Sid.
Buzz Lightyear [Sid cackles evilly]
You mean that happy child?
That ain't no happy child.
He tortures toys, just for fun!
Buzz Lightyear [Sid throws a block at the soldier]
Well, then, we've got to do something.
[He climbs onto the windowsill] [gasps, putting her cane hook on Buzz's arm]
What are you doing? Get down from there!
Buzz Lightyear I'm gonna teach that boy a lesson.
Yeah, sure. You go ahead. Melt him with your scary laser.
Buzz Lightyear [He presses Buzz's laser button and it starts beeping]
Be careful with that, it's extremely dangerous.
Lenny [Lenny saw Sid lighting a match and lighting the little dynamite strapped to Combat Carl]
He's lighting it! He's lighting it! HIT THE DIRT!!
Buzz Lightyear [Bo Peep screams]
Look out!
[They all take cover as the dynamite explodes destroying the soldier. They soon are back on the windowsill. Scud barks]
Yes! He's gone! He's history! [laughs with triumph]
Buzz Lightyear I could've stopped him.
Buzz, I would love to see you try. [gesturing to Sid's yard] Of course I'd love to see you as a crater.
The sooner we move, the better.
Buzz Lightyear [In a deleted scene, inside Andy's room]
Woody! [Woody gasps; extends a handshake of sportsmanship] I'd just like to wish you luck. I-I-I know you’d do the same for me.
Buzz Lightyear [Woody grabs Buzz's hand, then throws him suddenly out of the window]
Whoa!
[Buzz falls into the bushes from his point of view, fades to black, Woody lands in the bushes, and then cuts to Woody closing the blinders and turning around only to see the toys looking up in shock]
What? What, what what? What? What are you- What's everyone looking at? What?! Hey, he slipped. I tried to- He- I couldn't hold on- It was an a- He slipped!
[The toys then rush up to the window and peek out of the window to try and find Buzz out of concern for him]
I don't see him. I think he fell onto the street.
Yeah, he's as good as roadkill.
He ain't going to pizza now.
[As they are talking, Woody is seen smugly walking back to his spot on the bed and lying down on it. Bo Peep turns around and notices this]
Woody! You deliberately threw Buzz out of the window!
[All toys gasp in horror]
Cowboy! Where is your honor, dirtbag?! You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to wear a 10-gallon hat on your pint-sized head! [turns to the bucket of soldiers] Men, search and rescue! I want a Medevac team on the devil!
Hustle up! Move it! Move it! Move it! Hey!
[Woody notices Mr. Potato Head climbing up onto the bed, alongside Hamm and Rex]
Hey, spuds-for-brains! Heh, what do you think you're doing? Off the bed. [As they congregate, they glare at Woody, with Rex also, after some confusion, preparing to snarl at Woody] Hey! Off the bed!
You gonna make us, Woody?!
No, he is. Slinky! Slink. [looks around then sees Slinky is still on the floor] Slink- Slinky! Get up here and do your job! [Slinky comes up and hesitates] Are you deaf?! I said take care of them!
Uh, I'm sorry, Woody, but I, uh... I have to agree with them. I don’t think what you did was right.
[hysterically laughs]
What?! Am I hearing correctly? You don't think I was right? Who said your job was to think, spring wiener?!
Well, I-I just thought-
Just use this vast reserve of brainpower to consider this for a moment! If it wasn't for me, Andy wouldn't pay any attention to you at all! In fact, my stretchy friend, you would've been hauled off to Goodwill a long time ago, so shut your mouth and get - them - off - the - bed! Do it. Now, Slink, or I'm throwing you off!
[bored laugh]
Guys, I don't believe this. Heh! [beat] Are... Are you- Are you threatening me?!
Yeah, get off the bed, ranch hand or we're throwing you off!
[The soldiers pop out of the barrel, and then the toys rush at Woody]
There he is, that dirtbag! Frag him! Move, move, move! Take no prisoners! Go for him! Go for the throat! Kill, kill, kill!
[Mr. Potato Head, Hamm, and Bo Peep grab Woody's arms, while Rex and the robot grab him by the legs. The toys then prepare to throw Woody off the bed]
One! Two!
[Just before they reach "three," a shout is heard and they turn to the window, with Slinky being near it]
Stop! Don't throw him off the bed!
Yeah!
[At the Dinoco gas station where Andy's car drives up to it and parks to a gas tank]
Can I pump the gas?
Sure! I'll even let you drive.
Yeah?
Yeah, when you're 16.
[Woody unfreezes] [hearing the conversation but worried about what will happen if he returns without Buzz]
Oh, great. How am I gonna convince those guys it was an accident? [Then, Buzz appears on the sunroof above Woody and he spot him] Buzz? [Buzz drops in the car landing on a seat next to Woody as Woody gets up] Buzz! You're alive! This is great! Oh, I'm saved! I'm saved! Andy'll find you here, he'll take us back to the room, and then you can tell everyone that this was all just a big mistake. [removes the fly from Buzz's helmet and wipes it while Buzz just glares at him] Huh, right? [pants, weakly] Buddy?
Buzz Lightyear I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Oh. Well, that's good.
Buzz Lightyear [puts his head against Woody’s]
But we're not on my planet. Are we?
No.
[Buzz tackles Woody and the two start fighting. They rolled underneath the car, fighting. Buzz kicks Woody to the tire]
Okay. Come on! You want a piece of me? [Buzz punches Woody, making his face spin until he stops it. Woody lunges at Buzz, pinning him down, open his helmet and punches his face, making a squeaky noise with each punch. Buzz then closes his helmet on Woody's hand, making him cry out in pain] Owww!
Buzz Lightyear [voice-box]
Buzz-Buzz-Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!
[Woody put his foot on Woody's back while pulling his arms back which makes Woody yell in pain.]
Aah-ouch!
Pizza Planet! Yeah!!!
[He gets in the car and it drives off, leaving Woody and Buzz behind] [gasps]
Andy! [he and Buzz were left behind at a Dinoco gas station] Doesn't he realize that I'm not there? [gasps loudly and knees on ground, sobbing] I'm lost! I'm a lost toy!
Buzz Lightyear [pause; as Woody sobs] [to his "intercom"]
Buzz Lightyear mission log. The local sheriff and I seem to be at a huge refueling station of some sort.
Buzz Lightyear [Woody angrily starts running to Buzz, but a Dinoco oil tanker truck's honking noise is heard and they look up. Buzz hides while Woody lays down. The truck stops, inches from Woody. He gets up and bumps into Buzz from behind.]
According to my navi-computer, the...
Buzz Lightyear Sheriff, this is no time to panic! [closes his "intercom"]
This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move from their house in two days, and it's all your fault!
Buzz Lightyear My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place...
Oh, yeah?! Well, if you hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me...
Buzz Lightyear Don't talk to me about importance! Because of you, the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy!
WHAT?! What are you talking about?!
Buzz Lightyear Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals his weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
YOU... ARE... A... TOY!!! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear! You're an action figure! You are a child's plaything!
Buzz Lightyear You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity. [gives Woody the Vulcan salute] Farewell!
Oh yeah?! Well, good riddance, ya loony!
Pizza Delivery Guy [A Pizza Planet truck pulls into the station. Woody sees it]
Hey, gas dude!
Gas Station Attendant You talking to me?
[Woody looks at the Pizza Planet logo on the side of the truck]
Pizza Planet? [realizing it's a way to reunite with Andy] Andy!
Pizza Delivery Guy Yeah, man, can you help me? Do you know where Cutting Boulevard is?
Gas Station Attendant Just a moment...
[Woody is about to go to the truck but then realizes something]
Oh, no. I can't show my face in that room without Buzz. Buzz! Buzz, come back!
Buzz Lightyear Go away!
No, Buzz, you've gotta come back! I... [sees that the truck has a rocket on the roof which gives him an idea] I found a spaceship! [Buzz stops and turns around] It's a spaceship, Buzz!
Pizza Delivery Guy [Buzz looks curious for a second]
Come on, man, hurry up! Um, like, the pizzas are getting cold here!
Buzz Lightyear [The camera goes down to Buzz, Woody looking at the truck]
Now, you're sure this space freighter will return to its port of origin once it jettisons its food supply?
Uh-huh. And when we get there, we'll be able to find a way to transport you home.
Buzz Lightyear Well then, let's climb aboard. [runs towards the truck]
No, no, no, wait, Buzz, Buzz, let's get in the back. No one will see us there.
Buzz Lightyear Negative. There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. We'll be much safer in the cockpit.
Yeah, but... Buzz! Buzz!
Pizza Delivery Guy So that's two lefts, and then a right, huh?
Gas Station Attendant Yeah.
Pizza Delivery Guy Okay, thanks for the directions.
[Buzz climbs up to the door window and jumps behind the pizza boxes so the driver won't see him]
Buzz!
[The truck starts up so Woody runs to the back of the truck. Woody saw Buzz strap his seat belt on]
It's much safer in the cockpit than the cargo bay. What an idiot!
[The driver hits the accelerator and the truck speeds forward, throwing Woody off guard and he hits the back of the cargo hold. The truck swerves to the left and Woody hit the side of it. As the truck rolls up a hill, a big box rolls toward him. Woody yells as the box smacks into him]
Pizza Planet Announcer [The truck soon arrives at Pizza Planet and stops. Buzz looks up to see a giant model of a rocket near the building and heard the P.A. speaking]
Next shuttle lift-off scheduled for T-minus 30 minutes and counting.
Pizza Planet Guard [Buzz looks at the entrance to see two robotic guards near it]
You are clear to enter. Welcome to Pizza Planet.
Pizza Planet Announcer [They move their spears aside and the doors open to let some customers inside]
The white zone is for eating pizza only. The white zone is for...
Buzz Lightyear [Buzz goes to the back to check on Woody]
Sheriff. Sheriff? [The trash falls down to reveal Woody all flattened] There you are. [Woody falls over on the trash] Now the entrance is heavily guarded. We need a way to get inside. [Woody gets up with a cup over his head, coughing] Great idea, Woody. I like your thinking.
Pizza Planet Guard You are clear to enter. Welcome to Pizza Planet.
Buzz Lightyear Okay, now! Quickly, Sheriff, the airlock is closing!
Pizza Planet Announcer [They make it through just as the door closes]
Jones, party of five: Your shuttle is now boarding at counter 12.
Kids
[as Buzz and Woody drops down]
Hey, Mom! Can we have some tokens?
Buzz Lightyear Sorry. [Woody and Buzz run between video games and took off their disguises. They look in awe at the arcade games around them with kids playing on them] What a spaceport! Good work, Woody!
[Woody looks around at the kids playing on arcade games until they heard Andy's voice from a game nearby]
Mom, can I play Black Hole? Please, please, please?
Andy!
What's Black Hole?
Oh, it's so cool...
Buzz Lightyear Now we need to find a ship that's headed for Sector 12.
Wait a minute! No, no, no! Buzz! This way! There's a special ship. I just saw it!
Buzz Lightyear You mean it has hyperdrive?
Hyperactive hyperdrive, and astro... uh, turf. [watches Andy and his family as they move closer to them; tracking Andy and family] Come on, come on, that's it...
Buzz Lightyear Where is it? I don't see the -- [then saw a claw game that looks like a rocket] Spaceship!
All right, Buzz, get ready, and... [Buzz runs off, unnoticed by Woody who has his eyes on Andy] Okay, Buzz, when I say "go," we're gonna jump in the basket. [notices that Buzz is not beside him and saw him running towards the claw game] Buzz! [Buzz jumps through the prize door] Don't! No!
This cannot be happening to me!
[He starts to walk but forced back to hide when a man walks by]
Buzz Lightyear [Later that night, to Sid approaching his house on his skateboard, humming to some rock music. Buzz peep out to see Andy's house next-door]
Sheriff, I can see your dwelling from here! You're almost home.
Alien
Nirvana is coming! The mystic portal awaits!
Will you be quiet? You guys don't get it, do you? Once we go into Sid's house, we won't be coming out.
[Sid opens the door and Scud snaps and barks at his bag]
Whoa, Scud! Hey, boy. Sit! Good boy! [Scud sits down and growls] Hey, I got something for you, boy.
[Woody, Buzz and the alien freeze as Sid grabs the alien and put him on Scud's head]
Ready, set, now! [Scud grabs the alien and starts to shake it back and forth in a blur. While growling at the same time Woody, and Buzz watch this with utter distraught and horror] Hannah! Hey, Hannah!
What?
Did I get my package in the mail?
I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
I don't know.
Oh, no, Hannah!
What?
Look! Janie!
Hey!
She's sick!
No she's not!
No! Don't touch her! NO!
Not Sid's room! Not there...
Sid! Give her back! Sid! [as Sid slams the door on her] Sid!
Oh, no! We have a sick patient here, nurse! Prepare the OR, stat!
[Sid puts Janie in a vise]
Patient is prepped. No one's ever attempted a double bypass brain transplant before. [puts on a mask and pulls out a toy pterodactyl from a crate] Now for the tricky part. Pliers!
Buzz Lightyear I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school.
[Sid finishes doing his "medical" stuff] [doing a nurse's voice]
Doctor, you've done it! Hannah? [opens the door where Hannah is standing] Janie's all better now.
She's lying! Whatever she says, it's not true!
[He goes out of the room shutting the door behind him]
[Woody and Buzz look around the room which is filled with heavy metal posters, discarded toy remains and power tools which made them shudder]
We are gonna die. I'm outta here! [jumps outta the bag and runs to the door. He tries to open the knob but it won't budge] Locked. [jump down to the floor and look around] There's gotta be another way out of here.
[We heard a rolling noise and turns to see a small yo-yo rolling and flop over. Woody pick up a pencil and look around for whoever's there. A shadow zoom past him and he freezes]
Uh, Buzz? W-W-Was that you?
[We heard a noise coming from Sid's bed. Woody picks up a torch and switch it on to shine it on a baby doll's head under the bed]
Hey! Hi, there, little fellah! Come out here. Do you know a way out of here? [The baby doll head moves out of the bed, revealing to have a spider-like body made from pieces of an erector set. Woody gasps. The baby head rises up taller, making Woody look horrified. He saw a fishing rod with legs, a jack-in-a-box with a monster paw glove inside, skateboard with a combat soldier's torso screwed to the front end (and others). A Jingle Joe uses his hand to turn off the torch, promoting Woody to jump onto Buzz and cling onto him in fear] B-B-B-BUUUZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!
Buzz Lightyear [He watches as the mutant toys grab the Janie doll and the pterodactyl toy and moves them away]
They're cannibals. [Woody and Buzz dive back into the bag and Buzz presses a button on his chest] Mayday! Mayday! Come in, Star Command! Send reinforcements! Star Command, do you copy? [adjusts his laser and points it out of the bag] I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Oh, a survivor. Where's the rebel base? Talk! [slaps Woody to the ground and walks over to the window] I can see your will is strong. [opens the blinds blocking the sun] Well, we have ways of making you talk. [took out a magnifying glass and uses it to aim the sunlight on Woody's forehead, making it smolder; as Interrogator] Where are your rebel friends NOW? [sinister chuckle]
Grace Phillips
Sid, your Pop Tarts are ready.
Alright!
[He runs out of the room and drops the magnifying glass in the process. Woody unfreezes and feels the burning on his forehead. Woody screams. He runs to a bowl of half-eaten cereal in colors (with milk) on the floor, and dunks his head in. Buzz runs over to Woody, pausing to remove two suction cup darts from his person before pulling Woody out of the bowl. Two colorful Froot-Loops stick to each of Woody's eyes like glasses]
Buzz Lightyear Are you all right? I'm proud of you, Sheriff. A lesser man would've talked under such torture.
[Woody picks up a spoon and looks at the smolder in his reflection]
I sure hope this isn't permanent.
Buzz Lightyear [checking his wrist communicator]
Still no word from Star Command. We're not that far from the spaceport.
[Woody sees the door in the reflection of the spoon. It was open]
The door! It's open! We're free!!
Buzz Lightyear Woody, we don't know what's out there!
I'll tell you wha... [screams; The mutant toys block the way and Woody ducks behind Buzz] They're gonna eat us, Buzz!! Do something! Quick!
Buzz Lightyear Shield your eyes! [fires his laser at Babyface but it just flickers on his forehead which surprises and shocks Buzz, when the mutant toys are blocking the way] It's not working! I recharged it before I left. It should be good for hours--
Oh, you idiot! You're a toy! Use your karate chop action! [presses a button on Buzz's back which makes his right arm move up and down as they advance around the mutant toys toward the door; to mutants] Get away! Hoo-cha! Hoo-cha!
Buzz Lightyear Hey! Hey!! How are you doing that? Stop that!
Back! Back, you savages! Back!
Buzz Lightyear Woody, stop it!
Sorry guys, but dinner's canceled! [drops Buzz and ran out into the hallway upstairs] There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home...
Buzz Lightyear [He ran down the stairs but then stopped when he saw Scud sleeping on them. He crept back up the stairs slowly as he could. Buzz's hand grabs him over his mouth and pulls him back behind the wall Woody muffled gasp]
Another stunt like that, cowboy, you're going to get us killed.
Don't tell me what to do!
Buzz Lightyear Shhh!
[Buzz checks that Scud is still asleep then darts across the stairwell opening to the other end of the hallway. He motions for Woody to follow. Woody cowardly crawls across the open area behind him to Buzz. As Woody stands up, his pull string gets caught on the curls of the iron railing. The toys start to creep down the hallway, unaware that Woody's pull string has caught on the railing. Then Woody's pull string comes loose and his voice box starts up]
Buzz Lightyear [The noise from the voice box wakes Scud up and he follows it up the steps. Woody and Buzz look worried]
Split up!
[Buzz dives into a room while Woody jumps into a closet just as Scud reaches the top of the stairs. He heard the door slam and went over to sniff anything suspicious. Buzz skid to hide behind the door. Sensing his movement, Scud walks towards the door as Buzz stood back. Then as Scud moves curiously closer to Buzz, they heard snoring and look up to see Sid's father fast asleep on a La-Z-Boy recliner in front of the TV. Scud then backs out and head down the stairs]
[Outside, the mutant toys continue celebrating and congratulating each.]
Nice work, fellas. Good job. Coming out of the ground -- what a touch! That was a stroke of genius.
Buzz Lightyear Woody. [Woody turns around and sees Buzz who's still affixed to Sid's launchpad. Buzz extends his hand to Woody] Thanks.
[They share a smile as they shake hands, beginning their friendship, when they heard a car horn and they turn to see Andy and his family getting into the car] [Off-screen]
Everybody say, "Bye, house."
Buzz Lightyear Woody! The van!
[Woody quickly hoist Buzz off the pole he was tied to] [to mutant toys]
We gotta run! Thanks, guys. [With the rocket still taped to Buzz, the two toys sprint to the fence. Woody peeks out to see Andy's van's engine roaring, starting up] Quick!
Buzz Lightyear [Woody easily slips through the slats in the fence, but Buzz's rocket got him stuck. Woody climb to the rear bumper of the van then realizes Buzz's movement is silent. He looks back to discover that Buzz is stuck to the fence]
Just go! I'll catch up! [Woody looks between Buzz and the van then made a decision. He jumped down and ran back to Buzz. The van begins pulling out of the driveway. Woody tugs on a loosened slat and breaks Buzz free of the fence. The two toys ran out to the street but the van is already driving away down the street. Then they heard a rumble and they look back to see the moving truck rolling towards them. Woody and Buzz scream. They duck down to avoid been hit by the truck as it rolls over them. After it passes, they start to chase it] Come on! [Scud is lying on the front porch when he perks up, seeing Woody, and Buzz running down the street after the moving truck. He growls, wanting to get back at them for duping him. Buzz runs faster than Woody and leap for a strap which is dangling from the back of the truck and grabs it to climb up to the bumper. Woody struggles to reach the strap but it keeps being out of reach] You can do it, Woody!
[Woody jumps and grabs the strap]
Whew, I made it! [laughs; Buzz gasps. Woody look back to see Scud running towards them. Woody screams. Scud bite on Woody's foot; kicking Scud with his other foot] Get away, you stupid dog! Down! Down! Aah! Aah!
Buzz Lightyear [Scud began to drag Woody down to the end of the strap]
Hold on, Woody!
I can't do it! Take care of Andy for me!
Buzz Lightyear No!
[Buzz jumps off of the truck and onto Scud's snout. He pull Scud's eyelids and snap them hard. Scud yelps in pain, letting go of Woody. He bucks wildly with Buzz still on him]
Buzz!
[Still hanging onto the strap, Woody scrambles up onto the bumper. He unlocks the back door of the truck and strains to get it open. Just then, the moving truck and the family van stop at the traffic lights. Woody slams into the door, making it slide up, carrying him with it. Hanging from the door, Woody scans the inside of the truck until he saw a box marked Andy's toys. Scud flings Buzz off his face. Buzz tumbles under a parked car. Scud runs to the car but can't get to Buzz due to the car too big for him to fit under. Woody open the box and inside is Slinky, Rex, Mr. Potato Head and Hamm]
What?
Are we there already? Woody!
Woody?! How'd you--
How did you-- [Woody push the box to the side and begin rummaging through the next box. Slinky, Potato Head, Rex and the other toys poke their heads out] What's going on? What's he taking?
Aha, there you are!
[The toys watch in confusion as Woody took out RC and his remote control out of the box]
Hey! What's he doing?
[Woody runs to the back of the truck and kicks RC out onto the street, making the toys scream in horror]
He's at it again!
[Woody turn on the remote and send RC to the parked car, pasting Scud on the way. RC's motor whirrs happily at Buzz being OK and Buzz smiles at him. Woody laughs. The traffic light turned green, allowing the moving truck and Andy's family van to drive on]
Get him!
[The toys pour out of their boxes and charge towards Woody. Woody look back, gasps and quickly turn the wheel on the remote, making RC zoom with Buzz on board him towards the truck with Scud in hot pursuit. Woody steers the remote while trying to fend off the angry toys]
Ah-h!! Ah-h! No, no! [Scud continues chasing Buzz and RC down the street, nearly close to chomp on him. In the truck, Rocky lifts Woody and spin him around in circles] No, no, no! Wait! [as Rocky spins him] Whoa-Whoa-Whoa...!
Buzz Lightyear [RC suddenly starts going around in circles because of the remote going around in Woody's hand] [spinning]
Whoa-Whoa-Whoa...!
[Rocky throws Woody to the floor, making RC going straight again with Scud still chasing him and Buzz clinging to him. Hamm leaps off a pile of boxes and onto Woody]
Pig pile!
[The impact makes RC jump into the air and back onto the road. Buzz lands on RC, facing backwards. The traffic lights turn red and the wall of cross traffic move from both directions. Buzz looks back to see the lines of traffic in front of him. Buzz screams. He and RC drive straight into the lines of traffic with Scud blindly following them. Scud saw a car slamming on it's brakes on his side and went wide-eyed, realizing his mistake and skids to stop. The car swerves to avoid Scud and crashes into another car. Buzz and RC zipped through before the other cars collide with each other. Soon there is a multi-car pile up that encircles Scud, trapping him. He runs back and forth, trying to find a way out while people in their cars honk their horns at each other and shouting at each other]
Driver #1
Get out of that car!
Driver #2 Move it!
[Buzz look up to see the crash and let out a sigh of relief, both for getting away from Scud and avoid getting hit by the cars. Back on the truck, Rocky holding Woody (still holding the remote) above his head and walk towards the open door]
No, wait, you don't understand! Buzz is out there! We've gotta help him!!
[Woody swings his remote around knocks Mr. Potato Head's parts fall off his body and onto the floor]
Toss him overboard!
No, no, no, wait! Ah!
So long, Woody!
Buzz Lightyear [Woody getting hit as the auto passes over him. Woody looks Buzz and RC arrives]
Whoa! Woody!
[RC hops up Woody and keeps driving. Woody found themselves sit in front of Buzz holds the remote]
Well, thanks for the ride.
Buzz Lightyear [pointing ahead]
Look out!
[They slam into the rear tire of the auto in front of them. Woody screams and quickly turns the tire on the remote control]
Now let's catch up to that truck!
Lenny [Woody switches from the remote control and RC speeds up towards the moving truck. The toys are busy congratulating one another when Lenny glances and looks Woody and Buzz]
Guys, guys, Woody riding RC, and Buzz is with them!
WHAT?!!
[The toys rush to the edge of the open truck. Bo lifts Lenny up to look through him]
It is Buzz! Woody was telling the truth!
Great. Now I have guilt.
We're almost there.
Buzz Lightyear [Rocky rush over to a lever and push down the lever and the ramp starts to lower down. Woody and Buzz look up and come down]
Look out!
[RC sped back just before the ramp slams down and sparks flew from the flashing in a road] [to other toys]
Quick, hold on to my tail!
[Mr. Potato Head and Rex grab on to Slinky's tail, allowing Slinky leaps off the truck and onto the ramp. Slinky stretches out to Woody. Woody hands the remote to Buzz and leans forward to grab Slinky's paw]
Attaboy, Slink!
[Then all of a sudden, RC starts to slow down, pulls Slinky's front end off the ramp]
Woody! Woody! Speed up!
Buzz Lightyear The batteries, they're running out!
[Inside the minivan as the Hakuna Matata song from The Lion King plays, Molly look at the sideview mirror and saw RC with Woody, Buzz in it and Molly squeals. Slinky screams]
I can't hold on much longer!
Slink, hang on!
[Slinky's paws slips out, sends his front shooting back into the truck and knocks over the toys] [screams]
Ouch!
[RC slows down and sputters to the stop]
[Last lines; Months later, it's Christmas in Andy's new house. In the living room, Andy, his mom and Molly are around the Christmas tree, opening presents]
Which one can I open first?
Let's let Molly open one.
[In the Christmas tree, Sarge is using his binoculars to spy on them. His soldiers turn on the baby monitor to which they're holding in the branches. The other monitor plays on Andy's night stand] [over the monitor]
Frankincense, this is Myrrh. Come in, Frankincense.
[Buzz now with his helmet permanently opened, is sitting on the edge of Andy's bed while Hamm rests on the nightstand. They listen to the monitor] [to the room]
Hey, heads up everybody! It's showtime.
[The toys, and Woody are mingling together like a typical office Christmas party]
Oh, it's time!
[The toys stop dancing and hurried over to the monitor. Woody is about to follow when Bo grabs him with her crook]
Whoooooah! Oh, Bo! [rubbing his neck] There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.
Merry Christmas, Sheriff.
[Bo points her crook upwards to her sheep with mistletoe in their mouths]
Say, isn't that mistletoe?
Mm-hmmmmm.
[Bo drops her crook, dips Woody and kisses him. The toys are congregated below the monitor this time with excitement instead of fear this time] [to Slinky]
Maybe Andy'll get another dinosaur, like a leaf-eater. That way, I could play the, uh, dominant predator. [laughs]
Buzz Lightyear [Slinky laughs with him]
Quiet, everyone, quiet!
Gee, I better shave.
[He takes off his moustache piece and flick it away. Woody climbs onto the bed and join Buzz, his face covered in lipstick from Bo kissing him] [over monitor]
Come in, Frankincense. Andy is now opening his first present it's a... [static]
Buzz Lightyear [defensively]
Me? No, no, no, no... Mm-mmm. Are you?
Oh, what is it? What is it?
[Buster is heard barking]
Wow, a puppy!
[Woody and Buzz look at each other in surprise for a sec then share a worried smile]
