[Woody walks over to the podium (a Playskool Tinkertoy container) and stands. Mike, a speaker with a microphone attached, clears his throat to get Woody's attention and held out his microphone]
Oh, thanks, Mike.
[He picks up the microphone. Feedback is heard]
Okay, whoa. Step back.
[Off-screen]
For crying out loud.
[Mike steps back until the feedback fades away]
Okay. Thank you. [blows into the microphone] Hello. Check. That better? Great. Everybody hear me? Up on the shelf, can you hear me? Great. Okay, first item today: uh, oh, yeah... has everyone picked a moving buddy?
T Toys
[The other toys are surprised]
What?
Moving buddy? You can't be serious.
Well, I didn't know we were supposed to have one already.
[holding one of his arms]
Do we have to hold hands?
[The other toys laugh]
Oh, yeah. You guys think this is a big joke. We've only got one week left before the move. I don't want any toys left behind. A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one! All right, next. Uh, oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting... was, I think, a big success, and we want to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. Thank you, Mr. Spell.
S Mr. Spell
You're welcome.
Okay. Uh, oh, yes. One, uh, minor note here. [reads quietly] Andy's birthday party has been moved to today. Uh, next we have...
[The other toys are shocked]
What do you mean the party's today? His birthday's not 'til next week!
What's goin' on down there? Is his mom losin' her marbles?
Well, obviously, she wanted to have the party before the move. [to the other toys] I'm not worried. You shouldn't be worried.
Of course Woody ain't worried. He's been Andy's favorite since kindergarten.
Hey, hey. Come on, Potato Head. If Woody says it's all right, then, well, darn it, it's good enough for me. Woody has never steered us wrong before.
[Mr. Potato Head looks at Mr. Spell, pointing at Slinky's butt then pulls out his mouth and tap his butt with it. Mr. Spell laughs]
Come on, guys. Every Christmas and birthday we go through this.
But what if Andy gets another dinosaur, a mean one? I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection!
Hey, listen. No one's getting replaced. This is Andy we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with.
[Woody gestures Mike to move to him since the microphone's wire is stretched too far]
What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us. That's what we're made for, right?
Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but... THEY'RE HERE!! BIRTHDAY GUESTS AT THREE O'CLOCK!!
[The other toys scream]
Stay calm, everyone!
T Toys
[The toys run to the window passing Woody in a panic]
Hey!
[Mike even joins in the panic, taking the microphone out of Woody's hand]
Uh, meeting adjourned.
[The other toys get to the window to see what's going on]
Ho, boy, will you take a look at all those presents?
[He pick out his two eyes and lifts them above the toys to see Andy's friends bringing in presents]
Yes, sir. We're next month's garage sale fodder for sure.
Any dinosaur shaped ones?
Oh, for crying out loud. They're all in boxes, you idiot.
Wait, there's a nice little one over there.
S Mr. Spell
[The boy holding the present turns to the other kid, revealing his present to be really long and making the toys panic. All toys scream in the process]
Spell: trash can.
All right! All right! If I send out the troops, will you all calm down?
Okay! Save your batteries.
Eh, very good, Woody. That's using the old noodle.
I don't see him in the driveway! I think he bounced into Sid's yard.
[Woody step back unnoticed]
Oh, Buzz! [RC revs his engine to talk to the toys] Hey, everyone! RC's trying to say something! What is it, boy?
[RC revs his engine]
He's saying that this was no accident.
I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed...
By Woody! [points in Woody's direction]
Wait a minute. You, you don't think I meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you Potato Head?
That's Mr. Potato Head to you, you back-stabbing murderer!
[Bo Peep gasps]
Now, it was an accident! Guys, come on now, you...you gotta believe me.
We believe you, Woody. [looking at Rex for support] Right, Rex?
Well, ye-- n-- I don't like confrontations!
[pops out of the bucket]
WHERE'S YOUR HONOR, DIRTBAG?! YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE!! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO -- HEY!!!!
[Woody puts the lid on the bucket]
You couldn't handle Buzz cutting in on your playtime, could you, Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz just might be Andy's new favorite toy. So you got rid of him. Well, what if Andy starts playing with me more, Woody, huh? You're gonna knock me out of the window too?
I don't think we should give him the chance.
[Then the lid opened and Sarge and his men jump out and jump onto Woody]
There he is, men! Frag him! [Soldiers yelling]
Let's string him up by his pull string!
I've got dibs on his hat!
No, no, no! W-W-Wait! I can explain everything.
Okay, Mom, be right down. I've gotta get Buzz.
[The toys hid just as Andy enters his room and looks for Buzz]
Mom, do you know where Buzz is?
[Woody looks as Etch drew a hangman's noose while Mr. Potato Head pointed an accusing finger at him. Woody looks worried]
Andy, I'm heading out the door.
But, Mom, I can't find him!
Well, honey, just grab some other toy. Now come on!
[In a deleted scene, inside Andy's room]
Woody! [Woody gasps; extends a handshake of sportsmanship] I'd just like to wish you luck. I-I-I know you’d do the same for me.
[in Black Friday Reel; first words]
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go.
[Woody grabs Buzz's hand, then throws him suddenly out of the window]
Whoa!
[Buzz falls into the bushes from his point of view, fades to black, Woody lands in the bushes, and then cuts to Woody closing the blinders and turning around only to see the toys looking up in shock]
What? What, what what? What? What are you- What's everyone looking at? What?! Hey, he slipped. I tried to- He- I couldn't hold on- It was an a- He slipped!
[The toys then rush up to the window and peek out of the window to try and find Buzz out of concern for him]
I don't see him. I think he fell onto the street.
Yeah, he's as good as roadkill.
He ain't going to pizza now.
[As they are talking, Woody is seen smugly walking back to his spot on the bed and lying down on it. Bo Peep turns around and notices this]
Woody! You deliberately threw Buzz out of the window!
[shrugs]
Hey, it's a toy-eat-toy world.
[All toys gasp in horror]
Cowboy! Where is your honor, dirtbag?! You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to wear a 10-gallon hat on your pint-sized head! [turns to the bucket of soldiers] Men, search and rescue! I want a Medevac team on the devil!
[suddenly grabs Sarge]
At ease, sergeant. [then puts him back in the container]
Hustle up! Move it! Move it! Move it! Hey!
[Woody notices Mr. Potato Head climbing up onto the bed, alongside Hamm and Rex]
Hey, spuds-for-brains! Heh, what do you think you're doing? Off the bed. [As they congregate, they glare at Woody, with Rex also, after some confusion, preparing to snarl at Woody] Hey! Off the bed!
You gonna make us, Woody?!
No, he is. Slinky! Slink. [looks around then sees Slinky is still on the floor] Slink- Slinky! Get up here and do your job! [Slinky comes up and hesitates] Are you deaf?! I said take care of them!
Uh, I'm sorry, Woody, but I, uh... I have to agree with them. I don’t think what you did was right.
[hysterically laughs]
What?! Am I hearing correctly? You don't think I was right? Who said your job was to think, spring wiener?!
Just use this vast reserve of brainpower to consider this for a moment! If it wasn't for me, Andy wouldn't pay any attention to you at all! In fact, my stretchy friend, you would've been hauled off to Goodwill a long time ago, so shut your mouth and get - them - off - the - bed! Do it. Now, Slink, or I'm throwing you off!
[rushes to Slinky's defense]
You're gonna have to throw the two of us off!
[rushes to Slinky's defense]
Make that three.
[rushes to Slinky's defense]
Count me in.
[pointing at Woody]
No, Woody, you get your butt off the bed.
[bored laugh]
Guys, I don't believe this. Heh! [beat] Are... Are you- Are you threatening me?!
Yeah, get off the bed, ranch hand or we're throwing you off!
[carefully scowls at them]
Ha! You and what army?
[The soldiers pop out of the barrel, and then the toys rush at Woody]
There he is, that dirtbag! Frag him! Move, move, move! Take no prisoners! Go for him! Go for the throat! Kill, kill, kill!
T Toys
[Mr. Potato Head, Hamm, and Bo Peep grab Woody's arms, while Rex and the robot grab him by the legs. The toys then prepare to throw Woody off the bed]
One! Two!
[Just before they reach "three," a shout is heard and they turn to the window, with Slinky being near it]
Stop! Don't throw him off the bed!
[pulls up the blinds]
Throw him out the window, like he did to Buzz!!
T Toys
[The toys then move towards the window as Woody protests]
Yeah!!
[in Black Friday Reel; last words]
No! Wait! No! Come on! Hey, man!
[Outside, the mutant toys continue celebrating and congratulating each.]
Nice work, fellas. Good job. Coming out of the ground -- what a touch! That was a stroke of genius.
Woody. [Woody turns around and sees Buzz who's still affixed to Sid's launchpad. Buzz extends his hand to Woody] Thanks.
[They share a smile as they shake hands, beginning their friendship, when they heard a car horn and they turn to see Andy and his family getting into the car] [Off-screen]
Everybody say, "Bye, house."
[Woody quickly hoist Buzz off the pole he was tied to] [to mutant toys]
We gotta run! Thanks, guys. [With the rocket still taped to Buzz, the two toys sprint to the fence. Woody peeks out to see Andy's van's engine roaring, starting up] Quick!
[Woody easily slips through the slats in the fence, but Buzz's rocket got him stuck. Woody climb to the rear bumper of the van then realizes Buzz's movement is silent. He looks back to discover that Buzz is stuck to the fence]
Just go! I'll catch up! [Woody looks between Buzz and the van then made a decision. He jumped down and ran back to Buzz. The van begins pulling out of the driveway. Woody tugs on a loosened slat and breaks Buzz free of the fence. The two toys ran out to the street but the van is already driving away down the street. Then they heard a rumble and they look back to see the moving truck rolling towards them. Woody and Buzz scream. They duck down to avoid been hit by the truck as it rolls over them. After it passes, they start to chase it] Come on! [Scud is lying on the front porch when he perks up, seeing Woody, and Buzz running down the street after the moving truck. He growls, wanting to get back at them for duping him. Buzz runs faster than Woody and leap for a strap which is dangling from the back of the truck and grabs it to climb up to the bumper. Woody struggles to reach the strap but it keeps being out of reach] You can do it, Woody!
[Woody jumps and grabs the strap]
Whew, I made it! [laughs; Buzz gasps. Woody look back to see Scud running towards them. Woody screams. Scud bite on Woody's foot; kicking Scud with his other foot] Get away, you stupid dog! Down! Down! Aah! Aah!
[Scud began to drag Woody down to the end of the strap]
Hold on, Woody!
I can't do it! Take care of Andy for me!
[Buzz jumps off of the truck and onto Scud's snout. He pull Scud's eyelids and snap them hard. Scud yelps in pain, letting go of Woody. He bucks wildly with Buzz still on him]
Buzz!
[Still hanging onto the strap, Woody scrambles up onto the bumper. He unlocks the back door of the truck and strains to get it open. Just then, the moving truck and the family van stop at the traffic lights. Woody slams into the door, making it slide up, carrying him with it. Hanging from the door, Woody scans the inside of the truck until he saw a box marked Andy's toys. Scud flings Buzz off his face. Buzz tumbles under a parked car. Scud runs to the car but can't get to Buzz due to the car too big for him to fit under. Woody open the box and inside is Slinky, Rex, Mr. Potato Head and Hamm]
Are we there already? Woody!
How did you-- [Woody push the box to the side and begin rummaging through the next box. Slinky, Potato Head, Rex and the other toys poke their heads out] What's going on? What's he taking?
[The toys watch in confusion as Woody took out RC and his remote control out of the box]
Hey! What's he doing?
[Woody runs to the back of the truck and kicks RC out onto the street, making the toys scream in horror]
He's at it again!
[Woody turn on the remote and send RC to the parked car, pasting Scud on the way. RC's motor whirrs happily at Buzz being OK and Buzz smiles at him. Woody laughs. The traffic light turned green, allowing the moving truck and Andy's family van to drive on]
Get him!
[The toys pour out of their boxes and charge towards Woody. Woody look back, gasps and quickly turn the wheel on the remote, making RC zoom with Buzz on board him towards the truck with Scud in hot pursuit. Woody steers the remote while trying to fend off the angry toys]
Ah-h!! Ah-h! No, no! [Scud continues chasing Buzz and RC down the street, nearly close to chomp on him. In the truck, Rocky lifts Woody and spin him around in circles] No, no, no! Wait! [as Rocky spins him] Whoa-Whoa-Whoa...!
[RC suddenly starts going around in circles because of the remote going around in Woody's hand] [spinning]
Whoa-Whoa-Whoa...!
[Rocky throws Woody to the floor, making RC going straight again with Scud still chasing him and Buzz clinging to him. Hamm leaps off a pile of boxes and onto Woody]
Pig pile!
[The impact makes RC jump into the air and back onto the road. Buzz lands on RC, facing backwards. The traffic lights turn red and the wall of cross traffic move from both directions. Buzz looks back to see the lines of traffic in front of him. Buzz screams. He and RC drive straight into the lines of traffic with Scud blindly following them. Scud saw a car slamming on it's brakes on his side and went wide-eyed, realizing his mistake and skids to stop. The car swerves to avoid Scud and crashes into another car. Buzz and RC zipped through before the other cars collide with each other. Soon there is a multi-car pile up that encircles Scud, trapping him. He runs back and forth, trying to find a way out while people in their cars honk their horns at each other and shouting at each other]
D1 Driver #1
Get out of that car!
[Buzz look up to see the crash and let out a sigh of relief, both for getting away from Scud and avoid getting hit by the cars. Back on the truck, Rocky holding Woody (still holding the remote) above his head and walk towards the open door]
No, wait, you don't understand! Buzz is out there! We've gotta help him!!
[Woody swings his remote around knocks Mr. Potato Head's parts fall off his body and onto the floor]
Toss him overboard!
[The toys throw Woody out into the road. The toys cheered as the truck rolled away]
Hooray!
[Woody getting hit as the auto passes over him. Woody looks Buzz and RC arrives]
Whoa! Woody!
[RC hops up Woody and keeps driving. Woody found themselves sit in front of Buzz holds the remote]
Well, thanks for the ride.
[pointing ahead]
Look out!
[They slam into the rear tire of the auto in front of them. Woody screams and quickly turns the tire on the remote control]
Now let's catch up to that truck!
L Lenny
[Woody switches from the remote control and RC speeds up towards the moving truck. The toys are busy congratulating one another when Lenny glances and looks Woody and Buzz]
Guys, guys, Woody riding RC, and Buzz is with them!
[The toys rush to the edge of the open truck. Bo lifts Lenny up to look through him]
It is Buzz! Woody was telling the truth!
[The toys including Mr. Potato Head gasps and horrified]
What have we done?!
[RC is gaining on the moving truck]
Rocky, the ramp!
[Rocky rush over to a lever and push down the lever and the ramp starts to lower down. Woody and Buzz look up and come down]
Look out!
[RC sped back just before the ramp slams down and sparks flew from the flashing in a road] [to other toys]
Quick, hold on to my tail!
[Mr. Potato Head and Rex grab on to Slinky's tail, allowing Slinky leaps off the truck and onto the ramp. Slinky stretches out to Woody. Woody hands the remote to Buzz and leans forward to grab Slinky's paw]
Attaboy, Slink!
[Then all of a sudden, RC starts to slow down, pulls Slinky's front end off the ramp]
Woody! Woody! Speed up!
The batteries, they're running out!
[RC's headlight eyes sag as he slows down even more]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[Inside the minivan as the Hakuna Matata song from The Lion King plays, Molly look at the sideview mirror and saw RC with Woody, Buzz in it and Molly squeals. Slinky screams]
I can't hold on much longer!
[Slinky's paws slips out, sends his front shooting back into the truck and knocks over the toys] [screams]
Ouch!
[RC slows down and sputters to the stop]
