Mr. Potato Head Mrs. Potato Head! Mrs. Potato Head! Mrs. Potato Head! [to Rex] Hey, I can dream, can't I?
Played by Don Rickles 
Toy Story (1995) · 99 quotes
Toy Story (1995) · 99 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Toy Story (1995): in 22 of its 99 quotes
Most scenes with: Hamm (15), Rex (13), Woody (11)
Ages three and up. It's on my box "Ages three and up." I'm not supposed to be baby-sitting Princess Drool.
More lines from Mr. Potato Head
4 quotes Mr. Potato Head Mr. Potato Head Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?
Mr. Potato Head That's Mr. Potato Head to you, you back-stabbin' murderer!
Mr. Potato Head Toss him overboard!
Scenes with Mr. Potato Head
17 scenes Mr. Potato Head [Mr. Potato Head has put his eyes, mouth and nose in a position that reflects a famous Picasso work]
Hey Hamm, look at me! I'm Picasso!
I don't get it.
Mr. Potato Head You uncultured swine!
Mr. Potato Head How come YOU don't have a laser, Woody?
It's not a laser. It's a little light bulb that blinks.
What's with him?
Mr. Potato Head Laser envy.
So where are you from, Singapore? Hong Kong?
Well no, I'm actually stationed at the Gamma Quadrant, Sector Four, as an elite Universe Protection Unit. I protect the Galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!
Mr. Potato Head [long pause]
Oh really? I'm from Playskool.
And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not actually from Mattel, I'm from a smaller company that was purchased in a levereged buy-out.
Sergeant
It's a Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!
Way to go, Idaho!
Mr. Potato Head Gee, I'd better shave! [plucks off his moustache and tosses it aside]
Hey guys, RC's trying to say something! What is it, boy?
Mr. Potato Head He says that this was no accident!
What?
What are you saying?
Mr. Potato Head I'm saying that "Humpty Dumpty" was pushed...by Woody!
What?!
Oh, come on now, you don't think I really meant to kill Buzz, do you? Potato Head?
Mr. Potato Head That's Mr. Potato Head to you, backstabbing murderer!
Mr. Potato Head How did I get stuck with you as a moving buddy?
Everyone else was picked.
So, where you from? Singapore? Hong Kong?
Well, no. I'm actually stationed at the Gamma Quadrant, Sector Four. As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, I protect the Galaxy from the threat of invasion from the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!
Mr. Potato Head Oh, really? I'm from Playskool.
And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel. I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leverage buyout.
Pull my string! The birthday party's today? Okay, everybody! Coast is clear.
Mr. Potato Head [Woody watches as various other toys in the room come to life, including Mr. Potato Head] [puts his hat and nose back in their respective places]
Ages 3 and up. It's on my box. Ages 3 and up. I'm not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool.
Mr. Potato Head [The toys bustle about whilst they walk and talk. Hamm the Piggy bank is putting his coins back into his slot. Mr. Potato Head comes with his parts all mixed up]
Hey, Hamm. Look, I'm Picasso!
I don't get it. [walks away]
Mr. Potato Head You uncultured swine! What're you looking at, ya hockey puck?
[He walks off, leaving the hockey puck with arms and legs confused]
Hey, Sarge, have you seen Slinky?
Sir! No, sir!
Okay. Hey, thank you. At ease. [jumps down from the bed and looks around] Hey, uh, Slinky?
[Slinky, a dog with a slinky spring between his head and back appears, pushing a checker board from under the bed]
Right here, Woody. I'm red this time.
No. Slink...
Oh, well, all right. You can be red if you want.
N-Not now, Slink. I got some bad news.
Bad news?!
[holds Slinky's mouth shut]
Shhh! [The toys stop and look at Woody, and Slinky] Just gather everyone up for a staff meeting and be happy.
Got it.
Be happy.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Staff meeting, everybody! Snake, Robot, podium duty.
Robot
[Snake hides under the bed]
Hey!
[He reaches under the bed and brings Snake out. An Etch-a-Sketch walks past Woody who stops in a Western battle way]
Hey, Etch. Draw!
[They draw with Etch sketching a picture of a gun]
Oh! Got me again. Etch, you've been working on that draw. Fastest knobs in the West.
Got a staff meeting, you guys. Come on, let's go.
[The toys follow Slinky while Woody looks around]
Now, where is that... Oh. Hey, who moved my doodle pad way over here?
I was close to being scared that time.
I'm going for fearsome here, but I just don't feel it. I think I'm just coming across off as annoying.
Oh, hey, it was, uh, nothing.
What do you say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight?
Remember, I'm just a couple of blocks away.
[She walks off, leaving Woody baffled]
Come on, come on. Smaller toys up front. [A bull dog egg toy lets four other egg toys out] Hey, Woody, come on.
[Woody walks over to the podium (a Playskool Tinkertoy container) and stands. Mike, a speaker with a microphone attached, clears his throat to get Woody's attention and held out his microphone]
Oh, thanks, Mike.
[Mike steps back until the feedback fades away]
Okay. Thank you. [blows into the microphone] Hello. Check. That better? Great. Everybody hear me? Up on the shelf, can you hear me? Great. Okay, first item today: uh, oh, yeah... has everyone picked a moving buddy?
Moving buddy? You can't be serious.
Well, I didn't know we were supposed to have one already.
Mr. Potato Head [holding one of his arms]
Do we have to hold hands?
[The other toys laugh]
Oh, yeah. You guys think this is a big joke. We've only got one week left before the move. I don't want any toys left behind. A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one! All right, next. Uh, oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting... was, I think, a big success, and we want to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. Thank you, Mr. Spell.
Mr. Spell
You're welcome.
Okay. Uh, oh, yes. One, uh, minor note here. [reads quietly] Andy's birthday party has been moved to today. Uh, next we have...
[The other toys are shocked]
What do you mean the party's today? His birthday's not 'til next week!
What's goin' on down there? Is his mom losin' her marbles?
Well, obviously, she wanted to have the party before the move. [to the other toys] I'm not worried. You shouldn't be worried.
Mr. Potato Head Of course Woody ain't worried. He's been Andy's favorite since kindergarten.
Hey, hey. Come on, Potato Head. If Woody says it's all right, then, well, darn it, it's good enough for me. Woody has never steered us wrong before.
[Mr. Potato Head looks at Mr. Spell, pointing at Slinky's butt then pulls out his mouth and tap his butt with it. Mr. Spell laughs]
Come on, guys. Every Christmas and birthday we go through this.
But what if Andy gets another dinosaur, a mean one? I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection!
Hey, listen. No one's getting replaced. This is Andy we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with.
[Woody gestures Mike to move to him since the microphone's wire is stretched too far]
What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us. That's what we're made for, right?
Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but... THEY'RE HERE!! BIRTHDAY GUESTS AT THREE O'CLOCK!!
[Mike even joins in the panic, taking the microphone out of Woody's hand]
Uh, meeting adjourned.
[The other toys get to the window to see what's going on]
Ho, boy, will you take a look at all those presents?
Mr. Potato Head I can't see a thing.
[He pick out his two eyes and lifts them above the toys to see Andy's friends bringing in presents]
Yes, sir. We're next month's garage sale fodder for sure.
Any dinosaur shaped ones?
Oh, for crying out loud. They're all in boxes, you idiot.
They're getting bigger!
Wait, there's a nice little one over there.
Child
Hi!
Mr. Spell
[The boy holding the present turns to the other kid, revealing his present to be really long and making the toys panic. All toys scream in the process]
Spell: trash can.
We're doomed!
All right! All right! If I send out the troops, will you all calm down?
Yes! Yes! We promise!
Okay! Save your batteries.
Eh, very good, Woody. That's using the old noodle.
[Upstairs in Andy's room, the toys hear Sarge's voice on the baby monitor]
Come in, Mother Bird. This is Alpha Bravo.
This is it! This is it! Quiet, quiet!
Come in, Mother Bird. All right, Andy's opening the first present now.
Mr. Potato Head Mrs. Potato Head! Mrs. Potato Head! Mrs. Potato Head! [Rex and Hamm look at him, confused] Hey, I can dream, can't I?
The bow's coming off. He's ripping the wrapping paper. It's a... It's... It's a... a lunch box. We've got a lunch box here.
A lunch box?
Mr. Potato Head Lunch box?
For lunch. [laughs]
Okay, second present. It appears to be... Okay, it's bed sheets.
Mr. Potato Head Who invited that kid?
[Sarge watches as Jennifer picks up the presents one by one until there's only one left]
Oh, only one left.
Okay, we're on the last present now.
Last present!
It's a big one. It's a.... It's a board game! Repeat, Battleship!
Whew!
Mr. Potato Head [Hamm accidentally bumps Mr. Potato Head, knocking some of his parts out]
Hey, watch it!
Sorry, old spud head.
Mission accomplished. Well done, men. Pack it up. We're goin' home.
I knew you were right all along, Woody. Never doubted ya for a second.
[Just then Sarge sees Jennifer pull out a surprise present from the closet]
Wait a minute. Oh! What do we have here? Oooh!
Wait! Turn that thing back on! [The baby monitor turns back and Sarge's voice is heard on it] Come in, Mother Bird! Come in, Mother Bird! Mom has pulled a surprise present from the closet. Andy's opening it. He's really excited about this one.
Mom, what is it?
It's a huge package. [A boy gets in the way of Sarge's view] Oh, get outta the.... One of the kids is in the way. I can't see. [Mr. Potato Head puts his hand to his head and to his sides while Woody looks, anxiously] It's a...
Kids
Wow!
[Andy hold up his present over the plant. Upstairs, Rex is anxious to know what the present is]
It's a what? What is it? [shakes the lamp table and the baby monitor falls to the floor as the batteries pop out] Oh, no!
Mr. Potato Head Oh, ya big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is!
Way to go, Rex! [Potato Head is putting the batteries in backwards]
No, turn him around! Turn him around!
He's putting him in backwa... Here, you're putting him in backwards!
[He jumps down and shoves Hamm aside to put the batteries back in. Downstairs, Andy and his friends rush down the hallway towards the stairs]
Let's go to my room, guys!
Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs!
Juvenile intrusion! Repeat, resume your positions now!
Andy's coming, everybody! Back to your places! Hurry!
Mr. Potato Head [Rex screaming]
Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?
Out of my way! Here I come! Here I come!
Friend #1
[He bumps into the garbage pail with a teepee on it and falls over. As the boys run up the stairs, Lenny the binoculars walks to the shelves and Woody flops down on the bed just as Andy and his friends burst in]
Hey, look, its lasers light up.
Take that, Zurg!
Friend #2
Quick, make a space. This is where the spaceship lands.
[He pushes Woody from his spot and drops a cardboard box shaped like a spaceship on it. Woody slides off the other side of the bed]
And you press his back and he does a karate-chop action!
Oh, yeah!
[They hurry out of the room and shut the door]
[The next morning, Woody opens the lid and looks from side to side then opens it] [grunts]
Finally! [sighs while feeling his head to find his hat missing] Hey, who's got my hat?
Shark
[pops up with Woody's hat on his head]
Look, I'm Woody. Howdy, howdy, howdy.
Say there, Lizard and Stretchy Dog, let me show you something. It looks as though I've been accepted into your culture. Your chief, Andy inscribed his name on me.
Rex and Slinky Dog
[He lifts his boot to show Andy's name written on it]
Wow!
With permanent ink too!
[Woody watches this and lifts his boot up to look at Andy's name on it when Bo comes up beside him]
Don't let it get to you, Woody.
Uh... let what? I don't, uh...... What do you mean? Who?
I know Andy's excited about Buzz. But you know he'll always have a special place for you.
Mr. Potato Head Yeah, like the attic. [chuckling]
All right, that's it!
Hmm. Unidirectional bonding strip.
Robot
Mr. Lightyear wants more tape.
[Snake uses his mouth to get the end of the tape and pulls it. Buzz hums as he works underneath his ship on a skateboard when Woody pulls him out]
Listen, Light Snack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me.
What are you talking about? [to Robot] Where's that bonding strip?
[He rolls underneath his ship but Woody pulls him back again]
And another thing, stop with this spaceman thing! It's getting on my nerves.
Are you saying you wanna lodge a complaint with Star Command?
Oh-ho, okay! Ooh, well, so you wanna do it the hard way, huh?
Don't even think about it, cowboy.
Oh, yeah, tough guy?
[He opens his helmet and Buzz starts gasping and choking as he crotches down and holds Woody's leg to support himself. When he stops, he sniffs the air and realizes something]
The air isn't.... toxic. [to Woody] How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets! [puts his helmet back on]
You actually think you're the Buzz Lightyear? [laughs] Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! Hey, guys, look! It's the real Buzz Lightyear!
You're mocking me, aren't you?
Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Buzz, look, an alien!
Where?!
[Woody laughs and falls over, with Buzz not amused until they hear a dog barking and Andy's next-door neighbor, Sid Phillips, shouting] [first words]
Yes! [cackles]
Whoa!
It's Sid!
Don't move!
They must've kicked him out early this year.
Oh, no, not Sid!
Mr. Potato Head Who is it this time?
I... I can't... I can't tell. Hey, where's Lenny?
Lenny
Right here, Woody.
Oh, no, I can't bear to watch one of these again.
Nothing that concerns you spacemen, just us toys.
I'd better take a look anyway. [uses Lenny to look at Combat Carl] Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?
That's why, Sid.
[realizing his mistake of identifying Scud as Sid to Buzz]
No, no, that's Scud, you idiot! [moves Lenny up to Sid so that Buzz can see him properly] That is Sid.
Mr. Potato Head That ain't no happy child.
He tortures toys, just for fun!
[He climbs onto the windowsill] [gasps, putting her cane hook on Buzz's arm]
What are you doing? Get down from there!
I'm gonna teach that boy a lesson.
Yeah, sure. You go ahead. Melt him with your scary laser.
[He presses Buzz's laser button and it starts beeping]
Be careful with that, it's extremely dangerous.
Lenny
[Lenny saw Sid lighting a match and lighting the little dynamite strapped to Combat Carl]
He's lighting it! He's lighting it! HIT THE DIRT!!
[They all take cover as the dynamite explodes destroying the soldier. They soon are back on the windowsill. Scud barks]
Yes! He's gone! He's history! [laughs with triumph]
I could've stopped him.
Buzz, I would love to see you try. [gesturing to Sid's yard] Of course I'd love to see you as a crater.
The sooner we move, the better.
I don't see him in the driveway! I think he bounced into Sid's yard.
[Woody step back unnoticed]
Oh, Buzz! [RC revs his engine to talk to the toys] Hey, everyone! RC's trying to say something! What is it, boy?
Mr. Potato Head [RC revs his engine]
He's saying that this was no accident.
Huh?
What do you mean?
Mr. Potato Head I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed...
No!
Mr. Potato Head By Woody! [points in Woody's direction]
What?!
Wait a minute. You, you don't think I meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you Potato Head?
Mr. Potato Head That's Mr. Potato Head to you, you back-stabbing murderer!
We believe you, Woody. [looking at Rex for support] Right, Rex?
Well, ye-- n-- I don't like confrontations!
[pops out of the bucket]
WHERE'S YOUR HONOR, DIRTBAG?! YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE!! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO -- HEY!!!!
Mr. Potato Head [Woody puts the lid on the bucket]
You couldn't handle Buzz cutting in on your playtime, could you, Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz just might be Andy's new favorite toy. So you got rid of him. Well, what if Andy starts playing with me more, Woody, huh? You're gonna knock me out of the window too?
I don't think we should give him the chance.
[Then the lid opened and Sarge and his men jump out and jump onto Woody]
There he is, men! Frag him! [Soldiers yelling]
Mr. Potato Head Let's string him up by his pull string!
I've got dibs on his hat!
Would you boys stop it?
Tackle him!
No, no, no! W-W-Wait! I can explain everything.
Okay, Mom, be right down. I've gotta get Buzz.
Retreat!
[The toys hid just as Andy enters his room and looks for Buzz]
Mom, do you know where Buzz is?
No, I haven't seen him.
Mr. Potato Head Psst!
[Woody looks as Etch drew a hangman's noose while Mr. Potato Head pointed an accusing finger at him. Woody looks worried]
Andy, I'm heading out the door.
But, Mom, I can't find him!
Well, honey, just grab some other toy. Now come on!
[In a deleted scene, inside Andy's room]
Woody! [Woody gasps; extends a handshake of sportsmanship] I'd just like to wish you luck. I-I-I know you’d do the same for me.
[Buzz falls into the bushes from his point of view, fades to black, Woody lands in the bushes, and then cuts to Woody closing the blinders and turning around only to see the toys looking up in shock]
What? What, what what? What? What are you- What's everyone looking at? What?! Hey, he slipped. I tried to- He- I couldn't hold on- It was an a- He slipped!
[The toys then rush up to the window and peek out of the window to try and find Buzz out of concern for him]
I don't see him. I think he fell onto the street.
Yeah, he's as good as roadkill.
Mr. Potato Head He ain't going to pizza now.
[As they are talking, Woody is seen smugly walking back to his spot on the bed and lying down on it. Bo Peep turns around and notices this]
Woody! You deliberately threw Buzz out of the window!
[All toys gasp in horror]
Cowboy! Where is your honor, dirtbag?! You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to wear a 10-gallon hat on your pint-sized head! [turns to the bucket of soldiers] Men, search and rescue! I want a Medevac team on the devil!
Hustle up! Move it! Move it! Move it! Hey!
[Woody notices Mr. Potato Head climbing up onto the bed, alongside Hamm and Rex]
Hey, spuds-for-brains! Heh, what do you think you're doing? Off the bed. [As they congregate, they glare at Woody, with Rex also, after some confusion, preparing to snarl at Woody] Hey! Off the bed!
Mr. Potato Head You gonna make us, Woody?!
No, he is. Slinky! Slink. [looks around then sees Slinky is still on the floor] Slink- Slinky! Get up here and do your job! [Slinky comes up and hesitates] Are you deaf?! I said take care of them!
Uh, I'm sorry, Woody, but I, uh... I have to agree with them. I don’t think what you did was right.
[hysterically laughs]
What?! Am I hearing correctly? You don't think I was right? Who said your job was to think, spring wiener?!
Well, I-I just thought-
Just use this vast reserve of brainpower to consider this for a moment! If it wasn't for me, Andy wouldn't pay any attention to you at all! In fact, my stretchy friend, you would've been hauled off to Goodwill a long time ago, so shut your mouth and get - them - off - the - bed! Do it. Now, Slink, or I'm throwing you off!
Mr. Potato Head [rushes to Slinky's defense]
You're gonna have to throw the two of us off!
Mr. Potato Head [pointing at Woody]
No, Woody, you get your butt off the bed.
[bored laugh]
Guys, I don't believe this. Heh! [beat] Are... Are you- Are you threatening me?!
Yeah, get off the bed, ranch hand or we're throwing you off!
[The soldiers pop out of the barrel, and then the toys rush at Woody]
There he is, that dirtbag! Frag him! Move, move, move! Take no prisoners! Go for him! Go for the throat! Kill, kill, kill!
[Mr. Potato Head, Hamm, and Bo Peep grab Woody's arms, while Rex and the robot grab him by the legs. The toys then prepare to throw Woody off the bed]
One! Two!
[Just before they reach "three," a shout is heard and they turn to the window, with Slinky being near it]
Stop! Don't throw him off the bed!
Yeah!
[At Andy's house, the other toys are looking for Buzz with a torch when they heard a rustle in the bushes and shine the light on it]
Hey, you guys! I think I've found him. Buzz! Is that you?! [Whiskers yowls] Whiskers! Will you get out of here?! You're interfering with the search and rescue. [We heard the Davis's car pull up to the house, and Rex turns off the torch to prevent them seeing the light; whispering] Look! They're home!
Where was the last place you left him?
Right here in the van.
[The toys listened to their conversation]
I'm sure he's there. You're just not looking hard enough.
He's not here, Mom. Woody's gone.
Yeah, boy, the weasel ran away.
Mr. Potato Head Huh? Huh? I told you he was guilty.
Who would've thought he was capable of such atrocities?
Oh, Slink, I hope he's okay.
[Outside, the mutant toys continue celebrating and congratulating each.]
Nice work, fellas. Good job. Coming out of the ground -- what a touch! That was a stroke of genius.
Woody. [Woody turns around and sees Buzz who's still affixed to Sid's launchpad. Buzz extends his hand to Woody] Thanks.
[They share a smile as they shake hands, beginning their friendship, when they heard a car horn and they turn to see Andy and his family getting into the car] [Off-screen]
Everybody say, "Bye, house."
Woody! The van!
[Woody quickly hoist Buzz off the pole he was tied to] [to mutant toys]
We gotta run! Thanks, guys. [With the rocket still taped to Buzz, the two toys sprint to the fence. Woody peeks out to see Andy's van's engine roaring, starting up] Quick!
[Woody easily slips through the slats in the fence, but Buzz's rocket got him stuck. Woody climb to the rear bumper of the van then realizes Buzz's movement is silent. He looks back to discover that Buzz is stuck to the fence]
Just go! I'll catch up! [Woody looks between Buzz and the van then made a decision. He jumped down and ran back to Buzz. The van begins pulling out of the driveway. Woody tugs on a loosened slat and breaks Buzz free of the fence. The two toys ran out to the street but the van is already driving away down the street. Then they heard a rumble and they look back to see the moving truck rolling towards them. Woody and Buzz scream. They duck down to avoid been hit by the truck as it rolls over them. After it passes, they start to chase it] Come on! [Scud is lying on the front porch when he perks up, seeing Woody, and Buzz running down the street after the moving truck. He growls, wanting to get back at them for duping him. Buzz runs faster than Woody and leap for a strap which is dangling from the back of the truck and grabs it to climb up to the bumper. Woody struggles to reach the strap but it keeps being out of reach] You can do it, Woody!
[Woody jumps and grabs the strap]
Whew, I made it! [laughs; Buzz gasps. Woody look back to see Scud running towards them. Woody screams. Scud bite on Woody's foot; kicking Scud with his other foot] Get away, you stupid dog! Down! Down! Aah! Aah!
I can't do it! Take care of Andy for me!
No!
[Buzz jumps off of the truck and onto Scud's snout. He pull Scud's eyelids and snap them hard. Scud yelps in pain, letting go of Woody. He bucks wildly with Buzz still on him]
Buzz!
[Still hanging onto the strap, Woody scrambles up onto the bumper. He unlocks the back door of the truck and strains to get it open. Just then, the moving truck and the family van stop at the traffic lights. Woody slams into the door, making it slide up, carrying him with it. Hanging from the door, Woody scans the inside of the truck until he saw a box marked Andy's toys. Scud flings Buzz off his face. Buzz tumbles under a parked car. Scud runs to the car but can't get to Buzz due to the car too big for him to fit under. Woody open the box and inside is Slinky, Rex, Mr. Potato Head and Hamm]
What?
Are we there already? Woody!
Woody?! How'd you--
How did you-- [Woody push the box to the side and begin rummaging through the next box. Slinky, Potato Head, Rex and the other toys poke their heads out] What's going on? What's he taking?
Aha, there you are!
Mr. Potato Head [The toys watch in confusion as Woody took out RC and his remote control out of the box]
Hey! What's he doing?
[Woody runs to the back of the truck and kicks RC out onto the street, making the toys scream in horror]
He's at it again!
Mr. Potato Head [Woody turn on the remote and send RC to the parked car, pasting Scud on the way. RC's motor whirrs happily at Buzz being OK and Buzz smiles at him. Woody laughs. The traffic light turned green, allowing the moving truck and Andy's family van to drive on]
Get him!
[The toys pour out of their boxes and charge towards Woody. Woody look back, gasps and quickly turn the wheel on the remote, making RC zoom with Buzz on board him towards the truck with Scud in hot pursuit. Woody steers the remote while trying to fend off the angry toys]
Ah-h!! Ah-h! No, no! [Scud continues chasing Buzz and RC down the street, nearly close to chomp on him. In the truck, Rocky lifts Woody and spin him around in circles] No, no, no! Wait! [as Rocky spins him] Whoa-Whoa-Whoa...!
[RC suddenly starts going around in circles because of the remote going around in Woody's hand] [spinning]
Whoa-Whoa-Whoa...!
[Rocky throws Woody to the floor, making RC going straight again with Scud still chasing him and Buzz clinging to him. Hamm leaps off a pile of boxes and onto Woody]
Pig pile!
[The impact makes RC jump into the air and back onto the road. Buzz lands on RC, facing backwards. The traffic lights turn red and the wall of cross traffic move from both directions. Buzz looks back to see the lines of traffic in front of him. Buzz screams. He and RC drive straight into the lines of traffic with Scud blindly following them. Scud saw a car slamming on it's brakes on his side and went wide-eyed, realizing his mistake and skids to stop. The car swerves to avoid Scud and crashes into another car. Buzz and RC zipped through before the other cars collide with each other. Soon there is a multi-car pile up that encircles Scud, trapping him. He runs back and forth, trying to find a way out while people in their cars honk their horns at each other and shouting at each other]
Driver #1
Get out of that car!
Driver #2
Move it!
[Buzz look up to see the crash and let out a sigh of relief, both for getting away from Scud and avoid getting hit by the cars. Back on the truck, Rocky holding Woody (still holding the remote) above his head and walk towards the open door]
No, wait, you don't understand! Buzz is out there! We've gotta help him!!
Mr. Potato Head [Woody swings his remote around knocks Mr. Potato Head's parts fall off his body and onto the floor]
Toss him overboard!
No, no, no, wait! Ah!
Mr. Potato Head So long, Woody!
[Woody getting hit as the auto passes over him. Woody looks Buzz and RC arrives]
Whoa! Woody!
[RC hops up Woody and keeps driving. Woody found themselves sit in front of Buzz holds the remote]
Well, thanks for the ride.
[They slam into the rear tire of the auto in front of them. Woody screams and quickly turns the tire on the remote control]
Now let's catch up to that truck!
Lenny
[Woody switches from the remote control and RC speeds up towards the moving truck. The toys are busy congratulating one another when Lenny glances and looks Woody and Buzz]
Guys, guys, Woody riding RC, and Buzz is with them!
WHAT?!!
[The toys rush to the edge of the open truck. Bo lifts Lenny up to look through him]
It is Buzz! Woody was telling the truth!
Great. Now I have guilt.
We're almost there.
[Rocky rush over to a lever and push down the lever and the ramp starts to lower down. Woody and Buzz look up and come down]
Look out!
[RC sped back just before the ramp slams down and sparks flew from the flashing in a road] [to other toys]
Quick, hold on to my tail!
Mr. Potato Head [Mr. Potato Head and Rex grab on to Slinky's tail, allowing Slinky leaps off the truck and onto the ramp. Slinky stretches out to Woody. Woody hands the remote to Buzz and leans forward to grab Slinky's paw]
Attaboy, Slink!
[Then all of a sudden, RC starts to slow down, pulls Slinky's front end off the ramp]
Woody! Woody! Speed up!
The batteries, they're running out!
[Inside the minivan as the Hakuna Matata song from The Lion King plays, Molly look at the sideview mirror and saw RC with Woody, Buzz in it and Molly squeals. Slinky screams]
I can't hold on much longer!
Slink, hang on!
[Slinky's paws slips out, sends his front shooting back into the truck and knocks over the toys] [screams]
Ouch!
[RC slows down and sputters to the stop]
[Last lines; Months later, it's Christmas in Andy's new house. In the living room, Andy, his mom and Molly are around the Christmas tree, opening presents]
Which one can I open first?
Let's let Molly open one.
[In the Christmas tree, Sarge is using his binoculars to spy on them. His soldiers turn on the baby monitor to which they're holding in the branches. The other monitor plays on Andy's night stand] [over the monitor]
Frankincense, this is Myrrh. Come in, Frankincense.
[Buzz now with his helmet permanently opened, is sitting on the edge of Andy's bed while Hamm rests on the nightstand. They listen to the monitor] [to the room]
Hey, heads up everybody! It's showtime.
[The toys, and Woody are mingling together like a typical office Christmas party]
Oh, it's time!
[The toys stop dancing and hurried over to the monitor. Woody is about to follow when Bo grabs him with her crook]
Whoooooah! Oh, Bo! [rubbing his neck] There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.
Merry Christmas, Sheriff.
[Bo points her crook upwards to her sheep with mistletoe in their mouths]
Say, isn't that mistletoe?
Mm-hmmmmm.
[Bo drops her crook, dips Woody and kisses him. The toys are congregated below the monitor this time with excitement instead of fear this time] [to Slinky]
Maybe Andy'll get another dinosaur, like a leaf-eater. That way, I could play the, uh, dominant predator. [laughs]
Mr. Potato Head Gee, I better shave.
[He takes off his moustache piece and flick it away. Woody climbs onto the bed and join Buzz, his face covered in lipstick from Bo kissing him] [over monitor]
Come in, Frankincense. Andy is now opening his first present it's a... [static]
Oh, what is it? What is it?
[Buster is heard barking]
Wow, a puppy!
[Woody and Buzz look at each other in surprise for a sec then share a worried smile]
