[Woody intercepts One-Eyed Bart on the train] [approaches One Eyed Bart and puts his boot on his face]
You got a date with justice, One Eyed Bart.
PH Mr. Potato Head
Too bad, sheriff. I'm a married man.
[gasps and sees Mrs. Potato Head aka One Eyed Betty]
One Eyed Betty?
PH Mrs. Potato Head
Hyah! HA! [starts swinging her purse at Woody]
[starts backing up to the end of the train then almost falls]
Whoa!
PH Mrs. Potato Head
HYAH! [knocks Woody off]
PH Mr. Potato Head
[laughs evilly then frowns]
[riding Bullseye with Woody]
I think you dropped something, mister!
PH Mr. Potato Head
Jessie?
Give it up, Bart! You've reached the end of the line!
PH Mr. Potato Head
I've always wanted to go out with a bang! [holds a switch to arm a bomb on the tracks]
[the toys are on their way to Sunnyside Daycare while Barbie is in tears]
Mrs. Potato Head Oh, it's all right, Barbie. You'll be okay.
Barbie Well, Molly and I have been growing apart for years, it's just... I can't believe she would throw me away!
PH Mr. Potato Head
Welcome to the club, toots.
Okay, guys. We can make it back to Andy's, but we gotta move fast. We'll hide under the seats until we get back home.
PH Mr. Potato Head
Get it through your vinyl noggin, Woody! Andy doesn't want us anymore.
He was putting you IN THE ATTIC!
B Buzz
All right, calm down! Both of you!
Okay. Fine. Fine. Just wait'll you see what daycare's like.
Daycare is a sad, lonely place for washed up old toys who have no owners.
[Barbie wails]
Quite the charmer, aren't ya?
Oh, you'll see. As soon as we get to day care, you'll be beggin' to go home!
[Lotso and his gang are about to push Woody and his friends into the dumpster; all the while the garbage truck is halfway there]
I didn't throw you away. Your kid did. Ain't one kid ever loved a toy, really. Chew on that when you're at the dump. [turns away and starts to walk off]
[stops with an angry look behind]
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Daisy? You used to do everything with her?
Yeah. Then she threw us out.
She replaced you! And if you couldn't have her, then no one could! You lied to Big Baby, and you've been lyin' ever since! [holds up Big Baby's "Daisy" nametag]
[sees the nametag and is stunned with anger]
Where'd you get that?
As much as any kid ever loved a toy. [tosses the tag across the dumpster; Big Baby picks it up]
[snatches the tag]
What?! You want your mommy back? She never loved you! Don't be such a baby! [crushes it with his cane] Push 'em in! All of 'em! [Stretch hesitantly starts to push Woody and his friends in the dumpster] This is what happens when you dummies try to think! We're all just trash, waitin' to be thrown away! That's all a toy is. [Big Baby suddenly lifts him up; his cane drops out of his paws] Hey! Stop it! Put me down you idiot! [Big Baby throws him into the dumpster] No! Wait a minute! Big Baby, wait! [Big Baby slams the lid]
PH Mr. Potato Head
Holy cow!
PH Mr. Potato Head
[First lines; Mr. Potato Head, portraying One-Eyed Bart, jumps out of a train while carrying money sacks] [laughs evilly]
Money, money, money! Hey!
[Woody intercepts One-Eyed Bart on the train] [approaches One Eyed Bart and puts his boot on his face]
You got a date with justice, One-Eyed Bart.
PH Mr. Potato Head
Too bad, sheriff. I'm a married man.
[gasps and sees Mrs. Potato Head aka One Eyed Betty]
One Eyed Betty?
PH Mrs. Potato Head
Hyah! HA! [starts swinging her purse at Woody]
[starts backing up to the end of the train then almost falls]
Whoa!
PH Mrs. Potato Head
HYAH! [knocks Woody off. Woody screams as Mr. Potato Head laughs evilly then frowns]
[riding Bullseye with Woody]
I think you dropped something, mister!
PH Mr. Potato Head
Jessie?
Give it up, Bart! You've reached the end of the line!
PH Mr. Potato Head
I've always wanted to go out with a bang! [holds a switch to arm a bomb on the tracks]
PH Mr. Potato Head
[cut to a group of Troll dolls riding the train]
Hate to leave early, but our ride is here!
[Three aliens drive up in a pink Barbie Corvette]
Ooh!
PH Mr. Potato Head
It's me or the kiddies, Sheriff! Take your pick!
[the Potato Heads jump into the convertible and drive off]
Ride like the wind, Bullseye!
[Bullseye speeds up passing the troll toys and reaching the locomotive pulling the train]
Hold him steady!
[Woody jumps into the locomotive and pushes a lever forward. The train starts to speed up]
Woody, hurry!
[Woody pulls another lever back, activating the brakes. However, the train fails to stop in time and plunges over the edge carrying Woody with it, much to the horror of Jessie and Bullseye, who watch helplessly]
No!
B Buzz
[Suddenly, Buzz Lightyear appears, lifting the train and its passengers out of the canyon]
Glad I could catch the train!
Now let's catch some criminals!
B Buzz
To infinity and beyond!
[Cut to the Potato Heads and the aliens in their car, counting money and laughing evilly] [pointing at the sky]
Ooh!
[Buzz flies above the bandits and slices their car with his laser. After the criminals tumble to the ground, Woody, Buzz, and Jessie enter]
Reach for the sky!
PH Mr. Potato Head
You can't touch me, Sheriff. I brought my attack dog with a built-in force field!
[Mr. Potato Head calls Slinky Dog over with a whistle. Slinky bounces down from the mountains and forms the force field around the Potato Heads and aliens]
Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats force field dogs!
[the ground cracks apart, and Rex emerges. He roars at the evildoers, but then notices something]
Huh?
B Buzz
[a pig-shaped spaceship suddenly appears. Its driver is Hamm, portraying Dr. Porkchop]
Evil Dr. Porkchop!
That's Mr. Evil Dr. Porkchop to you.
[Hamm teleports the Potato Heads, the aliens, and Slinky onto his ship. He also pushes a button reading, "Death by Monkeys," trapping our heroes with a flood of plastic red monkeys. As Mr. Potato Head reaches toward a button activating a destructive ray, the scene suddenly cuts to Andy's bedroom. The whole scene actually took place in Andy's imagination, as he plays with the toys and a cardboard spaceship]
YA Young Andy (as Woody)
Buzz, shoot your laser at my badge!
Woody, no! It'll kill you!
YA Young Andy (as Woody)
Just do it!
[Andy shields Buzz's eyes and pushes the laser button. He uses his finger to trace the laser bouncing off Woody's badge, then knocks the spaceship and its evil passengers towards the ground]
We go back to Andy's. Anybody see an exit?
PH Mr. Potato Head
Exit schmexit. Let's get played with.
B Buzz
Careful. These toys might be jealous of new arrivals.
[pushing past]
I want to see!
JI Jack-in-the-Box
[Rex is in such a rush to see what is happening, that he causes the box to fall off the counter and onto the floor, spilling the toys out. Everyone looks to see the toys in the room staring at them]
NEW TOYS!
[Butterfly Room toys cheering. The toys go to greet the newcomers. Jessie shakes the hand of a rock monster named Chuck]
Well, howdy! Glad to meet ya!
B Buzz
[shaking hands with a robot named Sparks]
Buzz Lightyear, at your service.
[Hamm, Slinky and Barbie are shaking hands with a purple octopus named Stretch] [chuckles]
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
PH Mrs. Potato Head
[Rex laughs. A bug with armour on him help Mrs. Potato Head stand up]
Oh, thank you. May I? [giggles]
[The bug allows her to touch his muscles, making Mr. Potato Head a little jealous. He tried to flex his own muscles but it flopped down much to his dismay. A crane passed the Aliens]
The claw!
[Everyone then heard a truck's horn and they look to see a yellow truck reverse into view, carrying the bear the girl had been playing with earlier. He's carrying a cane] [first words]
Well, hello there. [gets out of the dumper] I thought I heard new voices. Welcome to Sunnyside, folks. I'm Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear. But please call me Lotso.
B Buzz
Buzz Lightyear. We come in...
First thing you gotta know about me, I'm a hugger. Look at you all. You've been through a lot today, haven't ya?
PH Mrs. Potato Head
It's been horrible.
Well, you're safe now. We're all castoffs here. We been dumped, donated, yard-saled, secondhanded and just plain thrown out. But just you wait, you'll find being donated was the best thing that ever happened to ya.
Mr. Lotso, do toys here get played with every day?
All day long! Five days a week.
But what happens when the kids grow up?
[Lotso walks over to a wall with class photos from past years]
When the kids get old, new ones come in. When they get old, new ones replace them. You'll never be outgrown, or neglected. Never abandoned or forgotten. No owners means - no heartbreak!
PH Mrs. Potato Head
It's a miracle!
PH Mr. Potato Head
And you wanted us to stay at Andy's!
Because we're Andy's toys!
[walks over]
So you got donated by this "Andy", huh? Well it's his loss, Sheriff. He can't hurt you no more.
Now let's get you settled in.
[walks to his gang]
Look, everyone, it's nice here, I admit. But we need to go home.
We can have a whole new life here, Woody. A chance to make kids happy again.
Yeah, Woody. Stay with us.
PH Mr. Potato Head
You'll get played with.
PH Mrs. Potato Head
Stay here.
You can make a new kid happy.
No, no, guys, really. No! I have a kid. You have a kid. Andy! And if he wants us at college, or in the attic, well, then, our job is to be there for him. Now, I'm going home. Anyone who wants to join me is welcome. Come on, Buzz. [short pause] Buzz?
B Buzz
[walks over to Woody]
Our mission with Andy is complete, Woody.
B Buzz
And what's important now is we stay together.
[shows Andy's name on his boot]
We wouldn't even be together if it weren't for Andy! Look under your boot, Buzz. You, too, Jessie. Whose name is written there?
Maybe Andy doesn't care about us anymore.
Of course he does. He cares about all of you! He was putting you in the attic. I saw. You can't just turn your back on him now!
[walks over to Woody, losing it]
Woody, wake up! It's over! Andy is all grown up!
[annoyed]
Okay, fine. Perfect! I can't believe how selfish you all are. [Jessie shows an angry look] So this is it? After all we've been through.
[Buzz walks to Woody and wants to shake his hand but Woody starts to storm off. Bullseye follows him behind]
Bullseye, no. You need to stay. [keeps on following him] Bullseye, no! I said stay! [Bullseye starts to whimpers] Look, I don't want you left alone in the attic, okay? Now, stay. [starts to walk away]
A Mrs. Anderson
[off-screen]
Bonnie? Bonnie?
A Mrs. Anderson
[Woody runs to the door, they find their places quickly] [enters the door]
Bonnie, you in here?
[Woody heads through the door]
Lotso did something to him!
He thinks he's a real Space Ranger again!
Oh, yes. Return of the astro-nut.
Oh, Woody, we were wrong to leave Andy! I-- I was wrong.
PH Mr. Potato Head
Jessie's right, Woody. She was wrong.
No, no, it's my fault for leaving you guys. From now on, we stick together.
[In the playground at night with trucks and Twitch with the search light as Chatter said beforehand. Ken, Buzz, are doing roll call]
Springy dog.
[The Squeaky Alien Trio squeak in reply]
Cowgirl.
[Bullseye whinnies]
Piggy bank.
[Woody watches from the rafters above]
Barbie.
B Buzz
[Still no answer. Buzz looks at what seems to be Mr. Potato Head fast asleep in his cubby]
Hey, hey! Tuberous root-man! Wake up!
B Buzz
[The object rolls forward revealing to be an actual potato] [gasps]
Impossible!
B Buzz
[He looks to see Mr. Potato Head fiddling with the lock on the window]
Hey!
[Mr. Potato Head gasps. Mr. Potato Head runs with Buzz, Ken, Big Baby, in hot pursuit. Woody uses a plastic straw to lift the clothes line with paintings on it up. Mr. Potato Head pounds on the door but it's no good. In the office, the Monkey watches with confusion at the scene]
A little late for a stroll, eh, Potato Head?
PH Mr. Potato Head
That's Mr. Potato Head to you, smoothie.
[The Monkey is so busy watching the confrontation that he doesn't notice Slinky, sneak out of their cubbies. He creeps over and Woody uses a bag of marbles to make himself heavier and low him down to the ground, holding onto the line. He grabs Slinky, and lifts them up to the rafters unnoticed]
Well, well, well. You're turning out to be quite the troublemaker, aren't you? What did you think you were gonna do? Waltz right out of here?
PH Mr. Potato Head
Yeah, and I would've got away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling toys! You ascot-wearing pink-noser! You're not a toy! You're an accessory! You're a purse with legs.
[kicks Ken]
Ow! Take him back to the box!
PH Mr. Potato Head
[as Big Baby grabs him and carries him off]
No! No, not the box! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it! I like ascots. Really. No, no, no!
Good work, Lightyear. All right, resume your, uh, space-guy-thingy.
B Buzz
[salutes]
Yes, sir, well-groomed man!
Well, well! Look who's back.
[Stretch finds Woody and his friends, while Twitch and Sparks hit a badly damaged Chatter Telephone from up the wall]
I'm sorry, cowboy... [Woody gasps in horror] They broke me.
What are you all doing? Running back to your kid? He don't want you no more.
Is it? Tell me this, sheriff. If your kid loves you so much, why is he leaving? You think you're special, cowboy? You're a piece of plastic, you were made to be thrown away! [hears beeping] Speak of the devil. [notices a garbage truck in the distance, as Jessie gasps in horror] Now, we need toys in our caterpillar room, and you need to avoid that truck. Say, why don't you come on back, join our family again?
This isn't a family, it's a prison! You're a liar and a bully! And I rather rot in this dumpster than join any "family" of yours!
Jessie's right! Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force!
[Lotso and his gang are about to push Woody and his friends into the dumpster; all the while the garbage truck is halfway there]
Barbie, wait! Don't do this, Lotso!
[turns to Ken threatingly]
She's a Barbie doll, Ken! There's a hundred million, just like her!
Not to me, there's not. [Barbie gasps in relief]
Fine! Then why don't you join them?! [picks up Ken and throws him into Andy's toys]
Everyone, listen! Sunnyside can be cool and groovy if we treated each other fair! It's Lotso! He's made us into a pyramid, and he put himself on top!
Anyone concur with Ken? [the garbage truck gets closer] I didn't throw you away, your kid did! Ain't one kid ever loved a toy, really. Chew on that when you're at the dump! [turns away and starts to walk off]
[stops with an angry look behind]
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Daisy? You used to do everything with her?
Yeah. Then she threw us out.
She replaced YOU! And if you couldn't have her, then no one could! You lied to Big Baby, and you've been lyin' ever since! [holds up Big Baby's "Daisy" nametag]
[sees the nametag and is stunned with anger]
Where'd you get that?!
As much as any kid ever loved a toy. [tosses the tag across the dumpster; Big Baby picks it up]
[snatches the tag]
What?! You want your mommy back?! She never loved you! DON'T BE SUCH A BABY!!! [crushes it with his cane, while Big Baby starts crying] Push them in! ALL OF THEM! [Stretch hesitantly starts to push Woody and his friends in the dumpster] This is what happens when you dummies try to think! [angrily jabs Big Baby with his cane, while Sparks and Twitch gasp in horror] WE'RE ALL JUST TRASH, WAITING TO BE THROWN AWAY! THAT'S ALL A TOY IS!!! [Big Baby suddenly lifts him up; his cane drops out of his paws] Hey! Stop it! Put me down, you idiot! [Big Baby throws him into the dumpster] No, no! Wait a minute! Big Baby, wait! [Big Baby slams the lid]
PH Mr. Potato Head
Holy cow!
[Big Baby blows a raspberry at Lotso]
