Ken
Far out! Down in a jiff, Lotso. [goes down the elevator] So, who's ready for Ken's dream tour?
L Lotso
Let's show our new friends where they'll be staying!
Ken
Uh, folks, if you'll just want to step right this way... [he sees Barbie] Hi, I'm Ken.
Barbie
Barbie. Have we ever met?
Ken
I would have remembered. [she laughs] Love your leg wamers!
Barbie
Nice ascot!
L Lotso
Come on, Ken, recess don't last forever.
Ken
Right on, Lotso. This way everybody.
L Lotso
Got a lot to look forward to, folks. The little ones love new toys.
Rex
And he smells like strawberries.
Woody
Ugh.
Ken
[In the playground at night with trucks and Twitch with the search light as Chatter said beforehand. Ken, Buzz, are doing roll call]
Springy dog.
Slinky
Present.
Ken
Green guys.
Ken
[The Squeaky Alien Trio squeak in reply]
Cowgirl.
Jessie
Here.
Ken
Horse.
Ken
[Bullseye whinnies]
Piggy bank.
Hamm
Yo.
Ken
Tyrannosaurus.
Rex
Here.
Ken
[Woody watches from the rafters above]
Barbie.
Barbie
Here.
Ken
Potato Head.
Ken
[No answer]
Potato Head.
B Buzz
[Still no answer. Buzz looks at what seems to be Mr. Potato Head fast asleep in his cubby]
Hey, hey! Tuberous root-man! Wake up!
B Buzz
[The object rolls forward revealing to be an actual potato] [gasps]
Impossible!
B Buzz
[He looks to see Mr. Potato Head fiddling with the lock on the window]
Hey!
Ken
[Mr. Potato Head gasps. Mr. Potato Head runs with Buzz, Ken, Big Baby, in hot pursuit. Woody uses a plastic straw to lift the clothes line with paintings on it up. Mr. Potato Head pounds on the door but it's no good. In the office, the Monkey watches with confusion at the scene]
A little late for a stroll, eh, Potato Head?
PH Mr. Potato Head
That's Mr. Potato Head to you, smoothie.
Ken
[The Monkey is so busy watching the confrontation that he doesn't notice Slinky, sneak out of their cubbies. He creeps over and Woody uses a bag of marbles to make himself heavier and low him down to the ground, holding onto the line. He grabs Slinky, and lifts them up to the rafters unnoticed]
Well, well, well. You're turning out to be quite the troublemaker, aren't you? What did you think you were gonna do? Waltz right out of here?
PH Mr. Potato Head
Yeah, and I would've got away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling toys! You ascot-wearing pink-noser! You're not a toy! You're an accessory! You're a purse with legs.
Ken
[kicks Ken]
Ow! Take him back to the box!
PH Mr. Potato Head
[as Big Baby grabs him and carries him off]
No! No, not the box! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it! I like ascots. Really. No, no, no!
Woody
Okay, check.
Ken
Good work, Lightyear. All right, resume your, uh, space-guy-thingy.
B Buzz
[salutes]
Yes, sir, well-groomed man!
Barbie
Ken! Ken? [sobs]
L Lotso
Well, well! Look who's back.
Chatter Telephone
[Stretch finds Woody and his friends, while Twitch and Sparks hit a badly damaged Chatter Telephone from up the wall]
I'm sorry, cowboy... [Woody gasps in horror] They broke me.
L Lotso
What are you all doing? Running back to your kid? He don't want you no more.
Woody
That's a lie!
L Lotso
Is it? Tell me this, sheriff. If your kid loves you so much, why is he leaving? You think you're special, cowboy? You're a piece of plastic, you were made to be thrown away! [hears beeping] Speak of the devil. [notices a garbage truck in the distance, as Jessie gasps in horror] Now, we need toys in our caterpillar room, and you need to avoid that truck. Say, why don't you come on back, join our family again?
Jessie
This isn't a family, it's a prison! You're a liar and a bully! And I rather rot in this dumpster than join any "family" of yours!
Barbie
Jessie's right! Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force!
L Lotso
If that's what you want.
Ken
[Lotso and his gang are about to push Woody and his friends into the dumpster; all the while the garbage truck is halfway there]
Barbie, wait! Don't do this, Lotso!
L Lotso
[turns to Ken threatingly]
She's a Barbie doll, Ken! There's a hundred million, just like her!
Ken
Not to me, there's not. [Barbie gasps in relief]
L Lotso
Fine! Then why don't you join them?! [picks up Ken and throws him into Andy's toys]
Barbie
Oh, Ken!
Ken
Everyone, listen! Sunnyside can be cool and groovy if we treated each other fair! It's Lotso! He's made us into a pyramid, and he put himself on top!
L Lotso
Anyone concur with Ken? [the garbage truck gets closer] I didn't throw you away, your kid did! Ain't one kid ever loved a toy, really. Chew on that when you're at the dump! [turns away and starts to walk off]
Woody
Wait! What about Daisy?
L Lotso
[stops with an angry look behind]
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Woody
Daisy? You used to do everything with her?
L Lotso
Yeah. Then she threw us out.
Woody
No. She lost you!
Woody
She replaced YOU! And if you couldn't have her, then no one could! You lied to Big Baby, and you've been lyin' ever since! [holds up Big Baby's "Daisy" nametag]
L Lotso
[sees the nametag and is stunned with anger]
Where'd you get that?!
Woody
She loved you, Lotso.
L Lotso
She never loved me!!
Woody
As much as any kid ever loved a toy. [tosses the tag across the dumpster; Big Baby picks it up]
L Lotso
[snatches the tag]
What?! You want your mommy back?! She never loved you! DON'T BE SUCH A BABY!!! [crushes it with his cane, while Big Baby starts crying] Push them in! ALL OF THEM! [Stretch hesitantly starts to push Woody and his friends in the dumpster] This is what happens when you dummies try to think! [angrily jabs Big Baby with his cane, while Sparks and Twitch gasp in horror] WE'RE ALL JUST TRASH, WAITING TO BE THROWN AWAY! THAT'S ALL A TOY IS!!! [Big Baby suddenly lifts him up; his cane drops out of his paws] Hey! Stop it! Put me down, you idiot! [Big Baby throws him into the dumpster] No, no! Wait a minute! Big Baby, wait! [Big Baby slams the lid]
Rex
He's gone!
PH Mr. Potato Head
Holy cow!
[Big Baby blows a raspberry at Lotso]
