Bullet Tooth Tony [When Avi asks what he wishes to be called]
You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
Played by Vinnie Jones 
Snatch (2000) · 129 quotes
Snatch (2000) · 129 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Snatch (2000): in 21 of its 129 quotes
Most scenes with: 'Cousin' Avi (9), Vinny (4), Sol (2)
Because he dodges bullets, Avi.
More lines from Bullet Tooth Tony
8 quotes Bullet Tooth Tony Bullet Tooth Tony [Madonna's "Lucky Star" comes on on the radio]
Oh, I love this track.
Bullet Tooth Tony [Tony repeatedly slams a car door down on a man's head, then a phone rings; he answers it with:] [Politely]
Bonjour?
Bullet Tooth Tony [Same scene, in French version]
Buongiornooo?
Bullet Tooth Tony (To Avi in a different room to him)
AVI! PULL YA SOCKS UP! (starts shooting through the wall)
Bullet Tooth Tony Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
Bullet Tooth Tony Are you using dog-shit for toothpaste?
Bullet Tooth Tony [To a would-be assassin who has just run out of bullets]
You're in trouble now, boy.
Scenes with Bullet Tooth Tony
12 scenes
So what should I call you, "Bullet"? "Tooth"?
Bullet Tooth Tony You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
Bullet Tooth Tony A bookie's got blagged last night.
Blagged? Tony, speak English. I thought this country spawned the **** language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
Bullet Tooth Tony Alright Mullet?
Mullet
[Mullet freezes in shock, then turns around]
Hey Tony! How you doin' mate, alright?
Bullet Tooth Tony Ooh, nice tie.
Mullet
I heard you werent about much these days, Tony
Bullet Tooth Tony What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins.Unlike yours, Mullet.
Mullet
Do me a favor Tone..
Bullet Tooth Tony I will do you a favor, Mullet.I'll not get out of the car and bash the living **** out of you in front of your girlfriends.
Mullet
Got to make it worth my while, Mate.Jesus Tony, you know that.
Bullet Tooth Tony [Tony grabs Mullets tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullets head in it]
Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that got you into this pickle.Now, you just take all the time you want.
Mullet
What the **** you doing Tone?!
Bullet Tooth Tony Driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pinarse?
Mullet
Slow down, Tone!
Bullet Tooth Tony You been using dog shit for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet
Slow down Tone. Slow down Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony Don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. [starts to accelerate]
Bullet Tooth Tony Boris the Blade? As in... Boris, the Bullet-Dodger?
Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony [Gives him an odd look]
Because he dodges bullets, Avi.
How do we wanna get rid of him? [talking about Boris in the carboot]
Bullet Tooth Tony Do you want to shoot him?
It's a little noisy, isn't it?
Bullet Tooth Tony Do you want to stab him?
That's a little cold-blooded, isn't it?
Bullet Tooth Tony [Annoyed]
Do you want to kill him or not?
Rosebud [in the backseat, taking the blade out of his jacket]
I'll cut him. I got a blade.
Bullet Tooth Tony Yeah, that's the spirit.
Bullet Tooth Tony You. Want a knife?
Me? No, not me. I wouldn't know what to do.
Bullet Tooth Tony It's a knife, for God's sake. What's you used to keep you fork company for all these years? The sharp side, the blunt side. What do you want, a lesson?
[The car crashes into a pole]
Bullet Tooth Tony You can take him with you, if you like. [Looks back at Rosebud, who drove a sword through his chest during the crash, and is now stone dead] Which bit do you want to take?
I don't want a fuss, and I don't want to put a bullet in your face, but if you don't give me exactly what I want, there will be **** murders.
Bullet Tooth Tony [to Tyrone]
What's your name?
Shoot him.
Bullet Tooth Tony [mocking]
Ooh.
[Vinny attempts to pistol-whip Tony; Tony catches his hand and grips it tightly as Sol draws another gun]
Let... go... of... the... gun!
Bullet Tooth Tony [Tony releases Vinny]
So, you're obviously the big dick. And the men on either side of you are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big, brave balls, and there are little mincey **** balls.
These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they're not clever. They smell pussy, and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey **** balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you're having second thoughts. You're shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... **** off.
[Sips his drink]
I will! I'll shoot you!
[Vinny and Sol fumble with their guns; Tony, hearing the shouting, approaches from another room. Boris enters, brandishing an assault rifle]
Give me case, or I shoot you.
You know what? **** you too. Go ahead and shoot me, you'd be doin' me a favor, you wretched ****! Go ahead!
Bullet Tooth Tony [from another room]
Avi? Pull your socks up!
[Avi, Vinny, Sol and Tyrone stare at one another, then fall to the floor. Tony shoots through the wall and into the room, wounding Boris]
Bullet Tooth Tony Avi? Where's the case?
Bullet Tooth Tony What's Boris doing here? Boris, what are you doing here?
**** you!
Bullet Tooth Tony [Tony shoots him twice, then goes over to Tyrone]
Where's the case?
Bullet Tooth Tony Don't take the piss, Boris.
I'll show you... now...!
Bullet Tooth Tony For ****'s sake...
Bullet Tooth Tony [Takes careful aim and shoots Boris one more time; looks down at Tyrone] [Contempt]
**** you, an' all.
Bullet Tooth Tony [Casually pulls the trigger, only to learn that he has run out of ammunition] [Exasperated]
You lucky bastard!
[On learning that Vincent has stored the diamond in his trousers for safety]
You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sit in a car... that's worth less than your shirt?
What have they got to do with anything?
They're both staring straight at me.
Bullet Tooth Tony [Tony comes into view, taps gun on car window]
You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Now, out the car. And leave the water pistols behind you.
Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony What?
Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony What you mean, 'Look in the dog'?
I mean, open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony It's not a **** tin of baked beans! What do you mean 'open him up'?!
You know what I mean.
Bullet Tooth Tony [Appalled]
That's a bit strong, ain't it. I don't know about this.[hesitated, but gets the dog anyway, ready with a blade]
Bullet Tooth Tony [the squeaky toy in the dog makes the dog squeak when he's barking]
It's **** squeaking!!
You never heard a dog squeak before? Gimme the goddamn gun!!
