I don't want that dog dribbling on my seats.
Vinny Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.
Played by Robbie Gee 
Snatch (2000) · 129 quotes
Snatch (2000) · 129 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Snatch (2000): in 17 of its 129 quotes
Most scenes with: Sol (12), Tyrone (5), Bullet Tooth Tony (4)
Scenes with Vinny
17 scenes Vinny Vinny [After seeing Tyrone struggle to get out of the car because of his size]
Oi!
What?
Vinny I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the **** can he get away from, ey?!
What the **** is that?
Vinny Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
It's a **** anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.
Vinny So, I wanna raise some pulses don't I?
You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.
Vinny Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot over there?
It's too tight.
Vinny Too tight?! You could land a jumbo **** jet in there.
He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone?
'Course I am...
Vinny [reverses into parked van]
A natural **** idiot.
Vinny It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. It's not as though it's a packet of **** peanuts now is it?
It was at a funny angle.
Vinny [All three turn and look back at the van]
It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind ya'.
Look, are we gonna rob this bookies or what?
Yes, big man.
What are we waiting for anyway?
We are waiting for a man with four fingers, carrying a briefcase, Tyrone.
And why's that?
Because the deal is, the Russian gets the case, we get the money.
What's in the case?
Vinny Oh for ****'s sake, Tyrone, just concentrate on the steering wheel.
Vinny I would be a lot better if you stopped using my name.
Give me the stone.
Vinny [pointing]
It's in the case.
Vinny [takes out his earplugs]
It's in the case!
You put the stone in the case? Then open the case and give me the stone.
The only man who knew the combination... you just shot.
Bad Boy Lincoln
[Standing over Franky's body]
What has he got a tea cosy on his head for?
Bad Boy Lincoln
Well, what happened to him?
He got shot in the face, Lincoln. I would have thought that would be obvious.
Bad Boy Lincoln
What'd you do that for? You mistake him for a rabbit? What'd you want me to do about it?
Vinny Sort it out.
Bad Boy Lincoln
I'm not a **** witch doctor.
But you are a bad-boy yardie, and bad-boy yardies are supposed to know how to get rid of bodies.
Bad Boy Lincoln
I create the bodies. I don't erase the bodies.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Would someone mind telling me, who are ya?
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
Vinny [Slightly stunned pause]
Well... thank you for that. That's a real weight off me mind. Now I mean, wouldn't you mind telling me exactly who the **** you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course.
Vinny [Sol is holding 2 pistols]
What do you mean, Replicas?
They look the shit, don't they? And no one is going to argue. I've got some extra loud blanks just in case.
Vinny Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?
Vinny [In a car, tailing Bullet Tooth Tony]
Do they fire? [while holding a Replica gun]
Of course they fire.
Vinny But how'd you know, they're replicas. What do you know about replicas?
Vinny [Sol is annoyed by the questions and shoots the car window]
What the **** are you doing, Solomon?!
Well you wanted to know whether or not they worked!!
Vinny I didn't mean try it in the car, Sol, you arsehole!!
Vinny I don't want a fuss, and I don't want to put a bullet in your face, but if you don't give me exactly what I want, there will be **** murders.
Shoot him.
[Vinny attempts to pistol-whip Tony; Tony catches his hand and grips it tightly as Sol draws another gun]
Let... go... of... the... gun!
[Tony releases Vinny]
So, you're obviously the big dick. And the men on either side of you are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big, brave balls, and there are little mincey **** balls.
Vinny These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they're not clever. They smell pussy, and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey **** balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you're having second thoughts. You're shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... **** off.
[Sips his drink]
Vinny [Having blundered into Avi, holding him up at gunpoint]
Give me the case or I'll shoot you.
Vinny I will! I'll shoot you!
[Vinny and Sol fumble with their guns; Tony, hearing the shouting, approaches from another room. Boris enters, brandishing an assault rifle]
Give me case, or I shoot you.
You know what? **** you too. Go ahead and shoot me, you'd be doin' me a favor, you wretched ****! Go ahead!
Vinny [to Boris]
**** you! You drop the gun!
[from another room]
Avi? Pull your socks up!
[Avi, Vinny, Sol and Tyrone stare at one another, then fall to the floor. Tony shoots through the wall and into the room, wounding Boris]
[On learning that Vincent has stored the diamond in his trousers for safety]
You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sit in a car... that's worth less than your shirt?
Vinny [Looks out window]
Bullet Tooth Tony and his friend, Desert Eagle point-five-oh.
What have they got to do with anything?
Vinny They're both staring straight at me.
[Tony comes into view, taps gun on car window]
You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Now, out the car. And leave the water pistols behind you.
Tony.
What?
Look in the dog.
What you mean, 'Look in the dog'?
I mean, open him up.
It's not a **** tin of baked beans! What do you mean 'open him up'?!
You know what I mean.
[Appalled]
That's a bit strong, ain't it. I don't know about this.[hesitated, but gets the dog anyway, ready with a blade]
Vinny [speaks in disbelief]
No, you can't do this.
[the squeaky toy in the dog makes the dog squeak when he's barking]
It's **** squeaking!!
You never heard a dog squeak before? Gimme the goddamn gun!!
