Doug the Head [Doug sees four Jewish kids smoking outside his shop.]
What are you doing?
Jewish Boy
[spits]
It's a free country ain't it?
Doug the Head Well it ain't a free shop is it? So **** off.
Played by Mike Reid 
Snatch (2000) · 129 quotes
Snatch (2000) · 129 quotes
9th most-quoted character in Snatch (2000): in 7 of its 129 quotes
Most scenes with: 'Cousin' Avi (4)
Scenes with Doug the Head
7 scenes Doug the Head Doug the Head
Franky Four Fingers
I have stones to sell, fat to chew, and many different men to see about many different dogs, so if I am not rushing you...
Doug the Head Slow down, Franky, my son. When in Rome...
Franky Four Fingers
I am not in Rome, Doug. I am in a rush.
[On learning that Franky is making his way to a boxing match - and gambling]
Did he have a case on him?
Doug the Head Yes. He had a case.
And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've got a problem with gambling" **** Four Fingers, Doug!
Doug the Head Avi, I'm not telepathic.
Well you're plenty **** stupid, I'll give you that. Do you have any idea why they call him Franky "Four Fingers", Doug?
Doug the Head No I have no idea.
Well because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug! And I'm not talking about his **** fore-skin either!
[To his aide 'Rosebud']
You gotta toothbrush? 'm goin' to London. [Into phone] You hear that, Doug? 'm comin' to London!
Doug the Head [Quick, split-second shots of Avi's flight from New York to London; instantly]
Avi!
Shut up and sit down, you big, bald ****. [Doug sheepishly complies] I don't like leaving my own country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm, sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.
Doug the Head We've got sandy beaches...
Yeah? So who the **** wants to see 'em?
Doug the Head In one sitting.
Doug the Head [The camera turns, revealing that they have been sitting in Doug The Head's office all along]
I might.
[Picks up the phone; the movie ends with the sequence of shots indicating Avi's flight]
[On learning that Franky is making his way to a boxing match – and gambling]
Did he have a case on him?
Doug the Head Yes. He had a case.
And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've got a problem with gambling" **** Four Fingers, Doug!
Doug the Head Avi, I'm not telepathic.
Well, you're plenty **** stupid, I'll give you that. Do you have any idea why they call him Franky "Four Fingers", Doug?
Doug the Head No, I have no idea.
Well, because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug! And I'm not talking about his **** foreskin either! [to his aide "Rosebud"] You got a toothbrush? I'm going to London. [into phone] You hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London!
Doug the Head [Quick, split-second shots of Avi's flight from New York to London, instantly]
Avi!
Shut up and sit down, you big, bald ****! [Doug sheepishly complies] I don't like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm, sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.
Doug the Head We've got sandy beaches …
Yeah? So who the **** wants to see 'em?
