Danny Meehan I'm in here for drunken assault.
Played by Vinnie Jones 
Mean Machine (2001) · 38 quotes
Mean Machine (2001) · 38 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Mean Machine (2001): in 22 of its 38 quotes
Most scenes with: Massive (15), Doc (4)
No need, officer. I'm absolutely drunk.
More lines from Danny Meehan
6 quotes Danny Meehan Danny Meehan I just wanna keep my head down, do my twelve months and I'm going home.
Danny Meehan What goes on the pitch, stays on the pitch.
Danny Meehan You're becoming a sentimental old fart.
Danny Meehan It's funny, but when you're in that football world, you just don't realise what it means to people. You only find out how disappointed they are, when you let them down. I was 16 when I signed pro forms. Thought I was the business. Didn't take long for standards to start slipping. Cars, booze, bad tips for slow horses... You think you can handle it, then bang, very soon it's handling you. Before I was picking up trophies, I was 425 grand down to men nasty enough... well, even they would have put the wind up Mr Sykes. But they did give me two choices - a wheelchair for life, or a deliberate penalty against the Germans. It's not as if I've prospered. Look where I've ended up.
Danny Meehan Stick that in your trophy cabinet.
Scenes with Danny Meehan
15 scenes
Danny Meehan Maybe I should take up Karate.
That was before he took up Karate.
Where's your manners Danny what would your old mum say?
Danny Meehan [smiles]
**** me.
Wish I'd met her.
Danny Meehan Massive?
It's ironic!
[Prison guard to Secretary]
:Hayter: I wouldn't get too close, Miss.
Tracey [Secretary to Danny]
Why? You're not dangerous. Are you, Mr footballer?
Danny Meehan [Meehan to Secretary]
Only if you've got the ball, Miss.
Danny Meehan I'll tell you something. I didn't start off out as a youngster looking to sell my country out.
None of us planned to be here, mate.
Chiv But you're forgetting something. You were a hero in Scotland.
Danny Meehan Oh right lads, you wanna be nothing, prisoners... numbers... that's fine. But you win out there today and you'll have something to remember forever, talk about it over and over, because up and down the country there are cons that are pig sick of not being here in your shoes... just to have one crack at those bastards next door!
Danny Meehan Run your guts out, and you'll have somethin' in 'ere. :[points towards heart]
Danny Meehan They can never touch, no parole boards, judges or nutcase governors... NOW... ask yourselves one question... ARE YOU READY?
Danny Meehan [team replies light-heartedly]
...YEAH, ARE WE?
Danny Meehan [team replies whole heartedly]
...YEAH! THEN, COME ON!
Danny Meehan [Referring to a clipboard Massive is holding]
What's that?
I'm your manager.
Danny Meehan Since when?
Trojan Look, don't bother giving me no orders, yeah?
Look, stop bitching, bitch.
Governor What do you think of amateur football?
Danny Meehan It's amateur.
Billy the Limpet I loved your work, man.
Danny Meehan Sorry?
Billy the Limpet I never believed any of the talk. I can't believe it. Here you are. :[takes off his sweater and shows his England jersey with "Meehan" at the back]
Danny Meehan Cheers.[keeps his distance]
Billy the Limpet Then you can teach me. Will you teach me, yeah?
Danny Meehan Teach you what? :[obviously distracted]
Billy the Limpet All that you know, all them soccer skills. All that. :[shows off his bad football moves]
Danny Meehan Sorry, mate. Do what?
Billy the Limpet You know, like the pro's, all that caper. Yeah?
Danny Meehan I gotta go, but we'll stick a pin in it, all right?[walks away]
Billy the Limpet Yeah, lovely. We'll stick a pin in it. Lovely.
Fan club.
Danny Meehan Bloody stalker.
Looking forward to a thrashing?
Danny Meehan If it means getting out of here early, I'll take another beating from you or anyone.
Who said anything about beating? I'm talking about the match.
Danny Meehan Come on! I've seen your lot in action.
Nitro Hello Danny boy.
Danny Meehan Nitro.
Nitro I've been wondering, you need a manager. You know..the tactics and all that. Well, I am the business.
Danny Meehan Massive's manager.
Nitro Yeah, I know, but I'm better than him because I had trials, didn't I.
We all had trials,mate. That's why we're here.
What money?
Danny Meehan You're a betting man. We'll make a deal. Let your lads play. Win or lose, you call the result. Bet accordingly.
Back to your fixing the match routine, right? Now listen, it's like this - I'd never take a bet against England, and I wouldn't bet the screws against the cons. Capisce?
Danny Meehan Then we can play to win. Would you think about it?
Yes, I'll think about it. But right now, I'm thinking you're polluting my air. Now go away.
Danny Meehan Okay, positions. I play centre midfield. Let's have all midfield players behind me, defenders to me left, strikers to me right. Come on, lads, come on.
Danny Meehan [All go to his right] [pause]
Terrific, let's move on.
Danny Meehan OK fellas, now, the key to set pieces is concentration, calculation, teamwork. With corners it's about movement, drawing defenders out of position. When it comes to defending,it's about tackling, finesse, calculation. Remember these simple rules, and we're in with a chance. Any questions?
Danny Meehan Yeah
Danny Meehan Hello Mr Monk. Can you play football?
Monk Aye.
Danny Meehan Good. Would you like to play with us?
Monk Nah.
Danny Meehan We're playing the guards.
Monk [pause]
Aye, then I'm with you.
Chiv Sound.
