Mean Machine 2001 quotes

Billy the Limpet

I loved your work, man.

Danny Meehan

Sorry?

Billy the Limpet

I never believed any of the talk. I can't believe it. Here you are. :[takes off his sweater and shows his England jersey with "Meehan" at the back]

Danny Meehan

Cheers.[keeps his distance]

Billy the Limpet

Then you can teach me. Will you teach me, yeah?

Danny Meehan

Teach you what? :[obviously distracted]

Billy the Limpet

All that you know, all them soccer skills. All that. :[shows off his bad football moves]

Danny Meehan

Sorry, mate. Do what?

Billy the Limpet

You know, like the pro's, all that caper. Yeah?

Danny Meehan

I gotta go, but we'll stick a pin in it, all right?[walks away]

Billy the Limpet

Yeah, lovely. We'll stick a pin in it. Lovely.

Doc

Fan club.

Danny Meehan

Bloody stalker.

And once again, Monk's played it to Trojan, who's again switched to the left.

Bob Likely

He must be ambidextrous, Bob.

I don't know about that, Bob. But he certainly can use both feet.

Bob Likely

Absa****lutely, Bob!

Bob Likely

Good afternoon, I'm Bob Likely. You join us live from the recreation field.

I'm Bob Carter, and thanks again to our esteemed governor...

Wanker

...for providing the splendid facilities that are here today as part of his rehabilitation campaign.

Danny Meehan

Hello Mr Monk. Can you play football?

Monk

Aye.

Danny Meehan

Good. Would you like to play with us?

Monk

Nah.

Danny Meehan

We're playing the guards.

Monk

Aye, then I'm with you.

Chiv

Sound.

Danny Meehan

I'll tell you something. I didn't start off out as a youngster looking to sell my country out.

Massive

None of us planned to be here, mate.

Chiv

But you're forgetting something. You were a hero in Scotland.

Danny Meehan

Oh right lads, you wanna be nothing, prisoners... numbers... that's fine. But you win out there today and you'll have something to remember forever, talk about it over and over, because up and down the country there are cons that are pig sick of not being here in your shoes... just to have one crack at those bastards next door!

Danny Meehan

Run your guts out, and you'll have somethin' in 'ere. :[points towards heart]

Danny Meehan

They can never touch, no parole boards, judges or nutcase governors... NOW... ask yourselves one question... ARE YOU READY?

Danny Meehan

...YEAH, ARE WE?

Danny Meehan

...YEAH! THEN, COME ON!

Danny Meehan

OK fellas, now, the key to set pieces is concentration, calculation, teamwork. With corners it's about movement, drawing defenders out of position. When it comes to defending,it's about tackling, finesse, calculation. Remember these simple rules, and we're in with a chance. Any questions?

Doc

Lovely story.

Danny Meehan

Yeah

Danny Meehan

Okay, positions. I play centre midfield. Let's have all midfield players behind me, defenders to me left, strikers to me right. Come on, lads, come on.

Danny Meehan

Terrific, let's move on.

Doc

Where's your manners Danny what would your old mum say?

Danny Meehan

**** me.

Doc

Wish I'd met her.

Governor

What do you think of amateur football?

Danny Meehan

It's amateur.

Massive

Massive is your man!

Danny Meehan

Massive?

Massive

It's ironic!

Mr Burton

Looking forward to a thrashing?

Danny Meehan

If it means getting out of here early, I'll take another beating from you or anyone.

Mr Burton

Who said anything about beating? I'm talking about the match.

Danny Meehan

Come on! I've seen your lot in action.

Mr Ratchett

Got you an apprentice. He used to be a sweeper.

Doc

Comedian.

Nitro

Hello Danny boy.

Danny Meehan

Nitro.

Nitro

I've been wondering, you need a manager. You know..the tactics and all that. Well, I am the business.

Danny Meehan

Massive's manager.

Nitro

Yeah, I know, but I'm better than him because I had trials, didn't I.

Massive

We all had trials,mate. That's why we're here.