Semi-Pro (2008) · 32 quotes
Most-quoted character in Semi-Pro (2008): in 22 of its 32 quotes
Most scenes with: Monix (3), Dick Pepperfield (2), Lou Redwood (2)
In the anals of history, people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.
Jackie Moon Everybody panic! Oh my God, there's a bear loose in the coliseum! There will be no refunds! Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love the tender meat! Cover your sodas! Dewie loves sugar!
Jackie Moon Let's get Tropical!
Jackie Moon It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes!
Jackie Moon GOD DAMN IT, VAKIDIS, LEARN ****IN' ENGLISH!
Jackie Moon I'm so excited, I can't even...feel my arms!
Jackie Moon EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Jackie Moon I wish you were still a washing machine!
Jackie Moon SUCK MY ****, I'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY!
Jackie Moon Heaven wants us to win this game! I'LL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
Jackie Moon EVERYBODY PANIC! IT'S JUST LIKE THE TITANIC, BUT IT'S FULL OF BEARS!
Jackie Moon If you see a possum, try to kill it. It's not a pet.
Jackie Moon SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY!
Jackie Moon When they look back in the annals of history, people are gonna be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.
Jackie Moon GODDAMN IT, VAKIDIS, LEARN ****IN' ENGLISH!
Jackie Moon Get the funk outta my face. Get. The. Funk. Outta My Face.
Jackie Moon You...mother**** ****s!
Jackie I think it's a pancake...
Oh come on now Jackie, that's been there a while, hasn't it?
Jackie Probably....
Jackie There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence Coffee Black So what's the plan?
Jackie Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis What the hell is that?
Jackie It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Oh, yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.
Vakidis, open the window, will ya?
Yes, right on! (does nothing)
Vakidis, did you give Bobby Dee a handjob?
Yes, right on!
Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette, it's very unprofessional.
No, I like to smoke when I drink.
Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son. And he has done more for this city than any human being who's ever lived on this planet!
With the possible exception of, eh, Henry Ford... Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city, you're right about that.
Ron Burgundy
Ricky Bobby
Chazz Michael Michaels
Frank 'The Tank' Ricard
Brennan Huff
Buddy
Phil Weston
Megamind
