Dick Pepperfield quotes from Semi-Pro (2008)

Dick Pepperfield

Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette, it's very unprofessional.

Lou Redwood

No, I like to smoke when I drink.

Lou Redwood

Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son. And he has done more for this city than any human being who's ever lived on this planet!

Dick Pepperfield

With the possible exception of, eh, Henry Ford... Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city, you're right about that.

Dick Pepperfield

Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine as they carry him off the court.

Dick Pepperfield

Here comes the Alley...and there goes the Oop!

Lou Redwood

Well, he sat on the bench, right? I mean, if you watch a porn movie, doesn't mean you got laid.

Dick Pepperfield

No. No, in fact it often means the opposite.

Lou Redwood

You know, I might suit up tonight, Dick. Sometimes I still dream of glory.

Dick Pepperfield

Well, sometimes dreams can turn into nightmares, Lou.

Lou Redwood

...What's your problem?

Dick Pepperfield

He scares me!

Lou Redwood

That little kid from the Jackson 5, he scares ya too.

Dick Pepperfield

Oh, mark my words, Lou, there's something very creepy about that young man.