Most scenes together: Dick Pepperfield & Lou Redwood (5), Jackie Moon & Monix (3), Jackie Moon & Dick Pepperfield (2)
Semi-Pro quotes
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Alan the Commissioner No, no, Jackie, don't bite yourself!
Clarence Coffee Black Who the **** is Bambi?
Cornelius Banks Ohhhh, I did get shot!
Here comes the Alley...and there goes the Oop!
Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine as they carry him off the court.
...Did you just call me a jive turkey?
Petrelli How come it says "Monix" on your jersey when your name's "Pussy"?
Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette, it's very unprofessional.
No, I like to smoke when I drink.
There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence Coffee Black So what's the plan?
Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis What the hell is that?
It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Oh, yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.
Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son. And he has done more for this city than any human being who's ever lived on this planet!
With the possible exception of, eh, Henry Ford... Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city, you're right about that.
Well, he sat on the bench, right? I mean, if you watch a porn movie, doesn't mean you got laid.
No. No, in fact it often means the opposite.
You know, I might suit up tonight, Dick. Sometimes I still dream of glory.
...What's your problem?
Vakidis, open the window, will ya?
Yes, right on! (does nothing)
Vakidis, did you give Bobby Dee a handjob?
Yes, right on!
That little kid from the Jackson 5, he scares ya too.
Oh, mark my words, Lou, there's something very creepy about that young man.