Marshmallows remind of going campin' with my daddy. I could eat 'em all night long! [Waffles' marshmallow gets caught on fire] Of course, he didn't make me cough 'em back up again for breakfast.
That ain't nothin'. I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. They started looking at me weird.
I remember them; they were quite friendly.
I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once. [everyone looks at Spoons in concern]
You... might wanna get that looked at.
Sheriff?
Uh, no, thank you.
So, Mr. Rango. Could you tell us about the Spirit of the West?
Oh, yeah. Tell us about that.
Is it true what they say?
Oh, yeah. The Spirit of the West! The eternally unattainable ideal! [draws pictures in the sky with a lit stick] They say he rides in an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him! But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest, and have made it... to the other side. [everyone looks at Rango in astonishment]
Uh, the other side of what?
It's a metaphor. [leans on the stick which then flings onto Waffles]
Ow! My eye!
Uh, that's gonna heal right up.
Sheriff, what are you going to do about... [whispers] Rattlesnake Jake?
Oh, yeah. Jake. You mean my brother.
Your brother?
THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
But he's a snake, and you're a lizard.
Well, Mama had an active social life.
Did he ever bite you?
Sure enough did! [shows everyone his belly button] Look at that baby! Go ahead, you can touch it!
Well, that's interestin'. [pokes his finger into Rango's belly button] That there's a belly button.
Luckily, I'm immune to his venom. I put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang.
Is it true he's only scared of them hawks?
Them's what we call his natural predator.
All this talk of that serpentine devil's puttin' my quills on edge!
I ain't sleepin' tonight. No, sir!
Don't you all worry 'bout a thing. Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water and return to a hero's welcome.
Friends, before we bunk down, I'd like us all to join hands for a moment, say a few words to the Spirit of the West. [everyone hold each other's hands] Ain't always spoken rightly to ya, Spirit of the West, but tonight I wanna thank you for bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives. It's a hard life we got. Sometimes, I dunno how we're gonna make it. But somehow, Sheriff Rango makes me think we will. We needed a brave man, and you sent us one. It's nice to have someone to believe in again. Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen. [everyone else says "Amen"]
