Larry Daley This is so not worth $11.50 an hour.
Most-quoted character in Night at the Museum (2006): in 23 of its 60 quotes
Most scenes with: Ahkmenrah (10), Jedediah (4), Teddy Roosevelt (4)
Everything in this museum comes to life at night. It's freakin' awesome!
More lines from Larry Daley
7 quotes Larry Daley Larry Daley Fetch? Play fetch?
Larry Daley Come to work with me tonight. You won't be disappointed.
Larry Daley [to the lobby doors]
Come on! Revolve. Revolve!
Larry Daley [after meeting Dr. McPhee]
Seems like a fun guy.
Larry Daley [to Octavius]
Don't be a kiss-ass.
Larry Daley Do the Mayans look happy to you?
Scenes with Larry Daley
15 scenes Larry Daley Ah, Teddy Roosevelt, right?
Rebecca Yes. A great visionary.
Larry Yes, definitely. He was our fourth president, right?
Rebecca Twenty-sixth.
Larry Twenty-sixth.
[Larry jumps out from being a wall and screams, scaring the other guards]
We're too old for surprises.
Larry Really? I thought you liked surprises! Especially the fact that everything in the museum comes to life at night! That little sweetheart.
Larry, we wanted to tell you but you never would've believed us.
Larry Do you have any idea what I've been through tonight?
What?
Larry I said, "Do you have any idea what I've been through tonight", Gus!
Keep a lid on it, butterscotch!
It can get a little spooky at nights so you might want to put a few lights on. The most important thing - don't let anything in...or out.
Larry Out?
Fire up the iron horse, boys.
Larry Hey, blondie!
Name's Jedediah.
Larry Okay, Jedediah, stop the train, please!
That's a big no-can-do, crackerjack.
Larry What's going on here?
Somebody's got to pay.
Larry Pay for what?
I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and take it like a man!
Larry Seriously, stop the train!
Alright, stop the train.
Larry Thank you.
NOW FULL SPEED AHEAD AND RAM HIM!
Larry ["toy" train hits Larry in the nose, topples over]
Ooh, ow...
Oh, for crying out loud!
Larry All right. That's enough!
cowboy
We got a breach!
Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States of America, at your service.
Larry Okay, I'm Larry Daley, the new night guard...
Pleasure to meet you, Lawrence Daley! Now, if you excuse me, [**** shotgun] the hunt's afoot.
Larry [mutters]
Hunt's afoot.
Larry [to Jed]
"Hey, Teeny," how does that sound?
It hurts my feelings.
Larry Well, Gigantor makes me feel like some kinda freak.
I just call you Larry.
Larry: Don't be a kiss-ass.
Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!
Larry Teddy, this guy has been pushing me, and pushing me and I am sick of it!
Larry Okay, Dexter. No hard feelings, okay?
[Dexter slaps Larry, Larry raises his hand to slap Dexter in return] [threateningly]
Lawrence...
Larry But... You saw!
Who is evolved?
Larry [muttering]
I am...
WHO is evolved?
Larry I am!
Easter Island Head Hey! Dum-dum!
Larry Yes?
Easter Island Head You give me gum-gum!
Larry I give you gum-gum?
Easter Island Head You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
Larry Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My name's Larry.
Easter Island Head No, your name Dum-dum.
Easter Island Head [People screaming]
Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You'd better run-run. From Attila the Hun-hun!
Easter Island Head [Larry runs as Attila and his gang are chasing him]
See you later, Dum-dum!
Hey, Huns. (Two burly Hun guards lay hold of Cecil taking him from Larry)
Larry Daley (To Akmenrah)
Tell Attila to take him (Cecil) back to the museum and put him with the rest of the guards.
Larry Daley Oh and uh, no limb ripping.
Attila Zahza buku.
Larry Daley Oh no no no.
Attila (makes a small amount indication with his thumb and index finger)
Pikaka?
Larry Daley (copies the gesture with it a bit larger than Attila's)
Mmmm. Makikaka.
Attila (he and his men happily laugh)
Egobugu! Li tu makikaka lau!
(as the guards pick him bodily up and bear him away)
Wait, hold on a minute. What does "Makikaka" mean? (to Akmenrah) Translation please?
Debbie Mr. Daley, I can honestly say, in 43 years at this agency, I've never seen a resume quite like yours.
Larry Ah, all right!
Debbie That wasn't a compliment. It says here you were the CEO of Snaptime Industries. Care to elaborate on that?
Larry Sure. Well, that was the umbrella corporation for my invention, the Snapper. You know, snap, lights come on. Snap, they come off.
Debbie Uh, didn't they already make that?
Larry No, no. That's the Clapper, which, obviously, stole a bit of our thunder. Personally, I don't really see what the big difference is. I mean... You know, whatever. But, um, apparently, there is a significant portion of the population that has trouble actually snapping.
Debbie Clapping's easier.
Larry Debatable.
Debbie I can't help you.
Larry Uh, Debbie? Can I call you Debbie? Cause, uh, I felt a connection when I entered this office. And I don't know. I feel like you did too.
Debbie I didn't feel a connection.
Larry Look, I need a job tomorrow, okay? If I don't have one... I just need it, okay?
Debbie Well, I don't know. I might have one thing. They've turned down everyone I've sent over there, but, uh...
Larry Great.
Debbie Who knows? You might get lucky.
[At almost sunrise, as Teddy returns to his position and poses, Larry is confused and looks at Teddy posing on his position. When...]
BOO!!!
Larry Daley AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Larry Daley Yeah. You got me.
[Teddy returns to his pose, Larry walks away, when...] [pops up from his pocket, aiming his gun]
YAHHHHHHHH!!! Say hello to your little friend! [Larry picks him up] Hey!
Larry Daley What are you doing?
Put me down! I don't like to be manhandled!
Larry Daley Just calm down, Jed.
It doesn't feel good! It makes me feel small and powerless.
Larry Daley You done?
I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye. [grunts, his gun clicks]
Larry Daley Yeah, keep shootin'. Nothing is gonna happen.
Larry? Just wanted to say good luck, son.
Reginald And goodbye. We're clocking out for the last time.
If you're ever in Boca, look us up.
Larry Wait, you guys are going out of town? What if this doesn't work out?
Reginald Smart fellow like you? You'll be fine.
Yeah, we'll just be a phone call away. Come on, walk us out.
Reginald You fellas go ahead. I need a moment.
He's very emotional. A lot of memories in this room.
Larry Daley Hey! Guys! Hey, guys! Hey! Guys! [snaps his fingers, which to Jed and Octavius the sound is deafening]
Jedediah and Octavius
Ow!
Larry Daley Sorry. What's goin' on? What happened here? I thought we had a deal.
We will never coexist with these buffoons!
We're past words, Laredo. Now it's time to let Smith & Wesson do the talkin'!
Ha! Those guns don't even work.
Oh, they don't? Take a look at this.
Ay!
Don't kick me!
Larry Daley Excuse me? Mr. McPhee? Excuse me, Mr. McPhee? Can I talk to you about this, please, sir?
What?
Larry Daley I know that I screwed up, but I think I finally understand how to do this job.
You obviously don't. That's the point.
Larry Daley No, I didn't, but now I do. Really, Mr. McPhee, if you just give me one...
Doctor.
Larry Daley Dr. McPhee, just... Can you please give me one more night?
One more night.
Larry Daley Okay, thank you.
And if anything is the tiniest after your shift... Because...
Larry Daley Got it.
Okay?
Larry Daley Okay.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
Larry Daley Shame on me. Fool me... Shame on me.
You.
Larry Daley Fool me twice... Got it.
Take it or leave it.
Larry Daley Okay, thank you.
Other characters in Night at the Museum
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Tony Perkis Jr
Greg Focker