Screw the press! This is a need-to-know situation. We should make it a top secret, and we should move in right away with DefCon-4!
Art Land
Jack Nicholson · 7 quotes
President Dale
Jack Nicholson · 7 quotes
General Decker
Rod Steiger · 6 quotes
Grandma Florence Norris
Sylvia Sidney · 6 quotes
Richie Norris
Lukas Haas · 6 quotes
Barbara Land
Annette Bening · 4 quotes
Byron Williams
Jim Brown · 4 quotes
Rude Gambler
Danny DeVito · 4 quotes
Billy Glenn Norris
Jack Black · 3 quotes
First Lady
3 quotes
Jason Stone
Michael J. Fox · 3 quotes
Martian Translator Device
3 quotes
Taffy Dale
Natalie Portman · 3 quotes
Cedric Williams
Ray J · 2 quotes
Professor Donald Kessler
Pierce Brosnan · 2 quotes
Sue Ann Norris
O-Lan Jones · 2 quotes
Female Journalist
Coco Leigh · 1 quote
General Casey
Paul Winfield · 1 quote
Press Secretary Jerry Ross
Martin Short · 1 quote
Richie's Dad
1 quote
Most scenes together: President Dale & First Lady (2), Byron Williams & Barbara Land (2)
Mars Attacks! quotes
Page 3 of 4They blew up Congress! [laughs]
We come in peace! We come in peace!
We know they're extremely advanced technologically, which suggests - very rightfully so - that they're peaceful. An advanced civilization, by definition, is not barbaric.
We should nuke these assholes with everything we got, sir.
What are you guys gawking at?! Get that President outta here!
Wow, he just made the international sign of the donut.
You can't have Martians running all over Nevada!
[About to get on the bus to leave for the Army, to his brother, Richie]
So long, ****.
[As Taffy is awarding her the Congressional Medal of Honor]
Thank you, honey. But don't you dare let anything like this happen again.
[As the Martians disintegrate Congress]
Mr. Ambassador, please! What are you doing? This doesn't make sense! It's not logical! It's not - [A Martian knocks Kessler unconscious]
[Challenging a Martian to a fistfight]
No weapons! No tricks! Just you and me! Byron Williams! The heavyweight champion of the world!
[Making one last appeal to the Martians]
Why... are you doing this? Why? Isn't the universe big enough... for both of us? What is wrong with you people? We could work together. Why be enemies? Because we're different? Is that why? Think of the things that we could do. Think how strong we would be! Earth... and Mars... together. There is nothing that we could not accomplish. Think about it! Think about it. Why destroy... when you can create? We can have it all, or we can smash it all! Why can't we... work out our differences? Why can't we... work things out? Little people... why can't we all just... get along? [The Martian Leader sheds a single tear. Dale smiles to himself, impressed. The Martian Leader approaches him and shakes hands with Dale. Then, the Martian Leader's hand detaches from his arm] What's this? [The hand proceeds to crawl all over Dale's body. At the small of his back, it stabs through his body. Dale collapses to the ground, dead. From his dead body, a flag rises: a Martian flag]