Art Land quotes from Mars Attacks! (1996)

Art Land

If the Martians land, they're gonna need a place to stay. Just like everybody else.

Art Land

Even in a time of so-called intergalactic emergency, people still want to roooooll them bones!

Art Land

I'd been thinkin' about Mars when there wasn't no Mars.

Art Land

I'm not a crook, I'm ambitious. There's a difference.

Art Land

So here's the deal. I got this chum, owes me a lot of money, needs a wake-up call. What I'd like you to do is, uh, use that patented left hook on him.

Byron Williams

Just in the ring, Art. Just in the ring.

Art Land

Yeah, I'm hip, I'm hip, but... I'll give you two grand. When you're done, all you must do is mosey on by the office and get the cash.

Byron Williams

Why do you wanna come at me that way, huh? You know I'm trying to get back with my wife. We used to have problems with this same kind of shit. But I've changed, man. I found Allah, I don't eat pork, and I'm a better man. I faced that demon, I don't want him coming out again.

Art Land

You gave up pork?

Barbara Land

Do you have to drink in front of me?

Art Land

You're an adult. Cope.