President Dale quotes from Mars Attacks! (1996)

President Dale

I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad! I want the people to know that the schools will still be open, okay? And I want the people to know that the garbage will still be carried out. And I want a cop on every corner - which, incidentally, we would already have, if they had listened to me in the last election!

President Dale

Rest assured that we will soon come out at a very real... outcome.

President Dale

Why... are you doing this? Why? Isn't the universe big enough... for both of us? What is wrong with you people? We could work together. Why be enemies? Because we're different? Is that why? Think of the things that we could do. Think how strong we would be! Earth... and Mars... together. There is nothing that we could not accomplish. Think about it! Think about it. Why destroy... when you can create? We can have it all, or we can smash it all! Why can't we... work out our differences? Why can't we... work things out? Little people... why can't we all just... get along? [The Martian Leader sheds a single tear. Dale smiles to himself, impressed. The Martian Leader approaches him and shakes hands with Dale. Then, the Martian Leader's hand detaches from his arm] What's this? [The hand proceeds to crawl all over Dale's body. At the small of his back, it stabs through his body. Dale collapses to the ground, dead. From his dead body, a flag rises: a Martian flag]

I'm not allowing that thing in my house.

President Dale

Sweetie, we may have to. The people expect me to meet with them.

Well, they're not going to eat off the Van Buren china.

President Dale

What do you think, Marcia?

Kick the crap out of 'em!

President Dale

General Decker, it seems I owe you an apology.

Hey, we all make mistakes, Mr. President.

President Dale

Not anymore. We're going to take charge of this thing!

Excellent, sir! I have prepared the order. [Gives him a clipboard]

President Dale

What's this?

Oh, that's your executive order authorizing full use of our nuclear deterrent, sir.

President Dale

Are you out of your mind? I'm not going to start a war!

We're already at war, sir! We have to nuke 'em, we have to nuke 'em NOW!

President Dale

General Decker, if you do not shut up, I am going to relieve you of your command.

We have to strike now, sir! ANNIHILATE! KILL! KILL! KILL!

President Dale

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT... UP!