Mars Attacks! 1996 quotes

56 quotes · 20 characters
Mars Attacks! (1996) poster
Characters
Art Land Jack Nicholson · 7 quotes
Grandma Florence Norris Sylvia Sidney · 6 quotes
Richie Norris Lukas Haas · 6 quotes
Byron Williams Jim Brown · 4 quotes
First Lady 3 quotes
Cedric Williams Ray J · 2 quotes
Sue Ann Norris O-Lan Jones · 2 quotes
Female Journalist Coco Leigh · 1 quote
General Casey Paul Winfield · 1 quote
Richie's Dad 1 quote

Most scenes together: President Dale & First Lady (2), Byron Williams & Barbara Land (2)

Mars Attacks! quotes

Page 1 of 4

So here's the deal. I got this chum, owes me a lot of money, needs a wake-up call. What I'd like you to do is, uh, use that patented left hook on him.

Just in the ring, Art. Just in the ring.

Yeah, I'm hip, I'm hip, but... I'll give you two grand. When you're done, all you must do is mosey on by the office and get the cash.

Why do you wanna come at me that way, huh? You know I'm trying to get back with my wife. We used to have problems with this same kind of shit. But I've changed, man. I found Allah, I don't eat pork, and I'm a better man. I faced that demon, I don't want him coming out again.

[After a short silence]

You gave up pork?

[After seeing the Martians on TV for the first time]

I'm not allowing that thing in my house.

Sweetie, we may have to. The people expect me to meet with them.

Well, they're not going to eat off the Van Buren china.

Louise Williams
[Driving the Metro bus, notices her two sons, Cedric and Neville, playing Flesh Eaters at the video game arcade]

Excuse me, folks. We've got to make an unscheduled STOP! [Stopping the bus at the video game arcade; Cedric and Neville glance at their mother]

Neville Williams

Oh, man! It's Mama!

Louise Williams
[Stops the bus and walks over to the two sons, annoyed]

What are you doing here, huh?! If you ain't gonna come home, why aren't you in class?! Huh?! [Grabs Cedric]

Mama, because class was cancelled!

Louise Williams

Class was NOT cancelled!

Yes, it was!

Louise Williams
[To Neville]

Will you come here!

Neville Williams

For what?

Louise Williams

Come here, I'm not gonna hurt you now, come here.

Neville Williams

Let go of him.

Louise Williams
[Lets go of Cedric]

Okay. Now, just come here. Come here. [Neville walks over to her; she grabs Cedric and Neville annoyedly] Do you think you're smart to cut school, huh? Do you?

Neville Williams

What are you doing?!

Louise Williams

Do you?! Huh?! Huh?!

Louise Williams

No, Mama, because it's dumb! You're gonna flunk and you all go to jail!

Neville Williams

No!

Mama, no! We haven't!

Louise Williams
[Shoves her two sons into the bus]

Get your own place! Get your butt on that place! Get on that bus, boy! [Cedric and Neville get on the bus, frustratedly] Yeah, I'll be tripping all over you! You get back there and I don't want to hear another word out of you, do you hear me? [All bus riders cheer]

I hate school!

Louise Williams

I heard that! [Neville and Cedric sit in the back of the bus and she drives the bus away]

General Decker, it seems I owe you an apology.

Gen. Decker
[Shrugging]

Hey, we all make mistakes, Mr. President.

Not anymore. We're going to take charge of this thing!

Gen. Decker

Excellent, sir! I have prepared the order. [Gives him a clipboard]

What's this?

Gen. Decker

Oh, that's your executive order authorizing full use of our nuclear deterrent, sir.

[Laughs]

Are you out of your mind? I'm not going to start a war!

Gen. Decker

We're already at war, sir! We have to nuke 'em, we have to nuke 'em NOW!

General Decker, if you do not shut up, I am going to relieve you of your command.

Gen. Decker

We have to strike now, sir! ANNIHILATE! KILL! KILL! KILL!

[Pounding his desk]

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT... UP!

I bet you're psyched about the Martians coming, Grandma? I mean, you've seen a lot of crazy stuff already. Everyone must have been real scared when they invented the train!

Come on, kid, I'm not that old!

The Martians just blew up the donut shop!
Richie's Dad: Well, if they come around here, we'll blast them back into space!

Should I go get Grandma?
Richie's Dad: Oh, forget Grandma! She's halfway into space already! Here, lock and load! (throws a shotgun to Richie)

I'll tell ya one thing, they ain't getting the TV! (**** gun)

[After watching the Martians kill Congress on TV]

Why did they do that?

Hispanic woman at donut shop

Maybe they no liking the human being.