PP Porky Pig
[Porky Pig and Speedy Gonzales chat and have lunch in the cafeteria] [to Speedy]
Eh, at first they tell me to lose the stutter. Now they tell me I'm not funny! [sighs] It's a pain in the butt, being p-p-p-politically correct.
SG Speedy Gonzales
You're telling me.
Shaggy [pan over to Shaggy and Scooby-Doo sitting across a table from Matthew Lillard, who portrayed Shaggy in the live-action adaptation; Shaggy is chastizing Lillard for his performance]
What kind of performance do you call that?! You made me sound like a total space cadet, man!
Matthew Lillard I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to be real to your character.
Shaggy If you, like, goof on me in the sequel, I'm coming after you!
Scooby-Doo Yeah! And I'll give you a Scooby Sna-AAAAAARRRRLLL!
[Lillard flinches as Scooby snarls; pan over to Kate and Bugs discussing an upcoming Bugs Bunny film] [to Bugs]
There are a few areas of the script I think we need to address. There's no heart, no cooperation, nobody learns anything...
[as Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf both enter the cafeteria, and then sit down at a nearby table]
Daffy learns not to stick his head in a jet engine.
No, Daffy always comes back. I just tell him how much I need him. We hug, we cry, I drop somethin' heavy on him, I laugh.
The duck is history, okay? [calms down, as Ralph attempts to eat a sheep with a fork, but Sam stops him] So, the question is, how can we help you reposition your brand identity? Answer, we'll team you up with a hot female co-star.
Usually, [spins around and dresses up in a woman's dress, wig, and makeup, and then speaks in a falsetto voice] I play the female love interest.
MJ Michigan J. Frog
[at a nearby table, Michigan J. Frog sees Bugs in drag, and then attracts her with his singing and dancing] [to Bugs, singing]
Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime gal.
[to Bugs, as Michigan continues singing]
Okay, about the cross-dressing thing. In the past, funny. Today, disturbing.
[as he takes off the dress, and the wig]
Listen, lady, if you don't find a rabbit wearing lipstick amusing, you and I have nothin' to say to each other.
[gets serious]
Look, I'm trying to be nice, but I was brought in to leverage your synergy! And I'm not going to let you, or some wacky duck...
[wipes the makeup off his face]
Daffy.
Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruit cake, crispy over rice, it doesn't matter!
Well, these matter. [gets out his eight Award statuettes from underneath the table, and then puts them on the top of the table] And this. [gets out his Hollywood Walk of Fame tile with his name on it from underneath the table, and then puts it on the top of the table next to the Award statuettes] And they say we get Daffy back. [to his Award statuettes] Right, boys?
Bugs's Award statuettes: [in unison] We want Daffy! We want Daffy! Bring him Back! We love Daffy!
[a very disappointed Kate receives a smile from Bugs]
