[indicating Daffy in hand]
Miss Houghton!
CC Camera crew
[as a result of the Batmobile crashing into the Warner Bros. studio water tower, it starts to overturn in front of D.J., Kate, Bugs, and Daffy]
Get out of the way! Watch out!
[the water tower overturns, dousing Kate and Bugs and their car in water]
Well, what do you know? I've found Nemo.
[to DJ, about Kate]
I think she likes you.
[turns around, and looks at D.J. and Daffy with an angry look on her face]
Security Guard [cut to a close-up view of D.J.'s right arm, as a security guard's hand rips the Warner Bros. Studios badge off of D.J.'s right sleeve] [to D.J.]
Your father would be so ashamed of you.
But I was... it was...
[the main gate shuts tight behind D.J. as he walks away]
Dad? What are you doing in the painting?
I wanted you to keep out of this, but there's nobody I can trust. Can you hold on a second?
[in the background, Damian Drake is fighting a group of thugs]
Are you shooting a movie or something?
[hops in sofa with popcorn and soda in hand]
A new Damian Drake movie? Cool!
Come to Las Vegas. [more fighting in background] Ask Dusty Tails for the Blue Monkey.
The Blue Monkey? What's a blue monkey?
A diamond. A very special diamond. Find Dusty Tails.
[as the fighting continues yet still]
Hey! Dad, do you need me to call the police or something?
[uses his mouth to pull the pin out of a hand grenade, lobbing it behind him; the grenade explodes on a thug]
No. No police.
I'm sorry I never told you this before, but I— [thugs finally manage to catch him in a hold, Damian struggles visibly. The video call cuts off]
So what about this Blue Monkey?
Dusty Tails Your father's assignment was to track it down before the chairman could. The diamond has supernatural powers. It would be a disaster if it fell into the wrong hands. I was supposed to give him this. [shows DJ a Queen of Diamonds playing card with the Mona Lisa's face superimposed on it; Daffy takes the card briefly]
This is not a king-sized diamond. This is a Queen of Diamonds! What kind of sick joke is this?!
[Dusty chops Daffy in the gullet]
Can I have that?
Dusty Tails That is so sweet! You, trying to take over for your father. These evil forces, they're bad people!
Relax, sister! I don't know the meaning of the word "fear"! [opens the door and finds himself facing a lit cannon with Yosemite Sam and his henchmen]
"Fear: Noun. A state of terror".
[everyone scatters as the cannon prepares to fire]
[to Kate]
Some grip, lady.
[to D.J.]
I need you to eject this duck immediately.
Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
Exactly. Not anymore. We already owned the name.
[to Kate]
Oh, yeah?! Well, you can't stop me from calling myself D... [gasps] D... [gasps again] Well, what do you know?
[to Kate]
You fired Daffy Duck?
No, I didn't. I did... I mean... They did.
Hold everything. [looking over the script] "Daffy gets blasted." Mm-hmm. Page 7: "Daffy gets blasted." Uh-huh. Page 8: "Daffy gets blasted again!" [to the boardroom members, Kate Houghton, and the Warner Bros.] What's the matter with you people? We can't do this kind of stuff anymore. [to the Warner Bros.] The Brothers Warner, show biz legends like me shouldn't have to play stooge… to that long-eared, carrot-chomping, overbite-challenged—
Eh, what's up, doc? [to the boardroom members] Hi, Bobby. How's your wife? Great nose job, Chuck. Thanks, goils. Good rug, Mel. Never wouldv'e guessed it. [to Daffy] Eh, pardon me.
[to the Warner Bros.]
Warner Brothers, I think Daff's right. Maybe I'll take a vacation. [shows the boardroom members his wallet full of photos of his many relatives] Go visit my five hundred and foity-two nieces and nephews.
[to Daffy]
Mr. Duck, excuse me, I'm sorry. I don't see how we can have a Bugs Bunny movie without Bugs Bunny.
Oh, my. Heavens, no. You can't have a Bugs Bunny movie without Bugs Bunny. And if you don't mind me asking, who's glorified personal assistant are you?
Kate Houghton, Vice President Comedy.
Oh. Right. [Looks down to see his hands on ice]
[to his brother about Kate]
Kate did Lethal Weapon Babies.
Mr. Warner's Brother: Finally. A Lethal Weapon that I can take my grandchildren to see.
[to the boardroom members]
Gentlemen, check your phones. [shows Daffy a green bar graph chart accompanied by Bugs' picture next to it on each boardroom member's phone] Our current research shows that Bugs Bunny is a core asset that appeals to male and female audiences both young and old alike throughout the universe, [the graph chart switches to a red bar graph chart accompanied by a 2D sprite of Daffy on it, which crashes in the ground as the graph goes down] while your fanbase is limited down to angry fat guys in basements.
Yeah, but... but... [to the boardroom members] Aw, come on, fellas! I'm thrice the entertainer the rabbit is!
So, it has come to this. I'm afraid that Brothers Warner must choose between a handsome matinee idol, or this miscreant perpetrator of LOW burlesque. [points at Bugs, who is wearing Groucho glasses and a spinning bowtie; everyone laughs]
Mr. Warner's Brother: Whichever one's not the duck.
[Daffy gasps, then, a boardroom member places a box labeled "Property of Mr. Duck", which has all of Daffy’s belongings, including a Bugs plush with needles on it, a big Daffy plush, a book called "Learn to draw Bugs Bunny and Friends", with Daffy replacing Bugs’ name with his own, and a picture of Daffy with the Warner Bros.]
Say, that's the stuff from my office.
You don't have an office.
Mr. Warner's Brother: Not any more.
Symbolically, this is bad. [begs at the Warner Bros.] Please, Brother! Uh, other Brother? [jumps on Kate] Icy she-wolf? Help me, please! I'm too young and tender to retire. Hoo-Hoo?
WAIT! [Kate drags Daffy out of the boardroom] I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing and butt-kissing yet! I'm still begging here!
FL Foghorn Leghorn
[to D.J.]
Card, sir?
FL Foghorn Leghorn
Don't-I say, don't 'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's 'bout as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
[a low value card is dealt out, and DJ continues playing, to the ire of Yosemite Sam]
Hit me!
[DJ continues nonetheless, receiving more low value cards]
No, no, no! HIT ME, FRAGNABBIT!
FL Foghorn Leghorn
[actually hitting Sam with a paddle, who is reduced to incoherent angry babbling]
He's the boss. Card, sir?
[nervous, believing he'd get the same treatment]
Hit me?
FL Foghorn Leghorn
[The Mona Lisa card is dealt]
Twenty-one, a winner! [DJ quickly snatches the card and runs off, Daffy in tow]
MM Marvin the Martin
Thwarting evil makes me so angry.
[Marvin aims at Bugs again until the bubbles holding him pops; he tries to shoot Bugs again, but the rabbit sticks his index finger inside his gum gun, clogging it, and seals the Martian in his own bubble, and then flicks it away, causing the Martin to float away]
Well, that takes care of that. [quickly on cue after he said it, he is grabbed by the claw] Yipe!
[Bugs and Daffy walk out from ACME headquarters] [to Daffy]
Well Daffy, you achieved your goal of being a hero.
[to Bugs]
Yup. But you didn’t achieve your goal of getting me back in your stupid movie! Ah-HA!
Director [offscreen, revealing all along that the entire events of the movie were staged]
Cut. Print. That's a wrap.
[the voice makes Daffy pause in surprise as stagehands begin to dismantle the set]
Remind me to get a new agent, will you?
[en-route to Las Vegas, after repeated attempts of throwing Daffy out of DJ's car, DJ eventually gives up] [stretches]
It's good to stretch.
You know, I'm getting really tired of throwing you out of the car.
That's my plan in a nutshell. Now listen. If we run into anything that requires super-spy skills, like cracking wise, smooching dames, you better leave that to me. However, if we have any security guarding needs...
Very funny, duck! I'm not a security guard! For your information, it's just a job. It's what I do for money.
What I really do is...I'm...I'm a... I'm a stuntman.
Hah! You, a stuntman? Please!
I am! Did you see those Mummy movies? I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is. [Daffy rolls his eyes, complete with cartoon sound effect] Oh, no, he couldn't stand that! One day, he decides to say, "No-no-no! The Bren-Master does all his own stunts"!
Listen, muscles. If this heap ever makes it to Vegas, I'll do all the stunts. Capische?
[first lines] [in the opening cartoon sequence, we see a series of "Rabbit Season" signs all over the forest, as Elmer Fudd sneaks towards Bugs Bunny's rabbit hole] [to the audience]
Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Ba ha ha ha!
[the camera zooms over to Daffy Duck putting a "Rabbit Season" sign on a tree, as Bugs Bunny helps him out]
I am a duck bent on self-preservationum.
[last lines before the End Credits] [Bugs walks to the car]
Bugs's Butler: Bugs is here. Gotta go.
[to Daffy]
Daffy, you're right.
R Ryan
[to Bugs]
The usual place, Mr. Bunny?
[to Daffy, as Gruesome Gorilla, Egghead, the Squirrel (from Much Ado About Nutting), and the other Looney Tunes characters and Merrie Melodies characters give him some carrots]
From now on, you and I are going to be equal partners in this thing. No more second banana for you.
Well, thanks, pal. I really appreciate this. [the car drives away from him] At last, my star is rising. All my hopes and aspirations... [a giant light appears falling into the floor] Well, what do you know? My luck is changing already.
Director [a giant metal circle landed on Daffy; finally, Porky pops out]
Goodnight, Porky. See you tomorrow.
PP Porky Pig
[to the audience]
Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th... Go home, folks.
[the lights went out]
