Looney Tunes: Back in Action 2003 quotes

47 quotes · 9 characters
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) poster
Characters
Daffy Joe Alaskey · 29 quotes
Bugs Bunny 20 quotes
Kate Jenna Elfman · 13 quotes
D.J. 12 quotes
Yosemite Sam Jeff Bennett · 6 quotes
ACME Chairman Steve Martin · 3 quotes
Damian Drake 3 quotes
Elmer Billy West · 3 quotes
Mr. Warner Don Stanton · 3 quotes

Most scenes together: Daffy & Bugs Bunny (14), Daffy & D.J. (9), Kate & Bugs Bunny (9)

Looney Tunes: Back in Action quotes

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ACME Chairman
[to a miserable Wile E. Coyote]

My God, young man, what am I going to do with you?! You've done nothing but screw up! You've walked off of mesas! You've been smashed by boulders! You've been run over by diesel trucks! And don't blame the equipment! The equipment is good; it's ACME equipment. You're a coyote! Be wily! [calms down] All right, now...buck up and let's see a little smile.

ACME Chairman
[Wile E. smiles, briefly and unenthusiastically]

Little bigger.

ACME Chairman
[Wile E. gives a bigger one, this time holding it]

Little bigger.

ACME Chairman
[Wile E.'s smile spreads to a disproportionate size]

Oh, that's nice. Now, just go take a shower, and don't come back till you smell better!

ACME Chairman
[Wile E., now cheered up, heads upstairs] [calling to him]

But be careful! There's some men moving a safe up there, and I don't want you to--

ACME Chairman
[A cartoonish jet-engine, followed by a "crash" sound, is heard] [pause]

And be careful of the box of fireworks, because--

ACME Chairman
[Released fireworks are heard] [pause]

I suppose I should mention the plate-glass window--

ACME Chairman
[Shattering glass is heard] [pause]

It's tough being the boss.

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D.J.

There's a man there! He's got a woman! She's tied up in a burlap sack and he's taking her to the Eiffel Tower!

Pepe

Ah, eet eez Spring, eez eet not?

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Foghorn Leghorn
(to D.J.)

Card, sir?

D.J.

Hit me.

Foghorn Leghorn

Don't-- I say, don't 'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's 'bout as sharp as a bowlin' ball.

Daffy
[Daffy and D.J. finally escape the Wooden Nickel]

I say we do Cirque de Soleil and call it a night.

Daffy
[D.J. makes a mad dash for his car]

How 'bout the Liberace Museum?

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Bugs
[After Elmer Fudd leaps out of La Grande Jatte (by pointillist Georges Seurat), Bugs reads to him from a museum guide.]

Pointillism. A technique using individual dots of pigment, which, taken together... [whips out a pocket electric fan] ...make an image. [turns on the fan.]

Elmer

Aw, crud! [Elmer's dots start to disperse, until only his shoes are left.]
Bugs (to audience): I think, when you go to the movies, you should learn somethin'.
[Daffy is busy redrawing himself.]

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Tweety
[As Granny's elephant progresses through the jungle, a flock of multicolored Tweety birds fly around]

I've discovered my woots!

Sylvester

I've discovered my lunch!

Tweety
[The birds attack Sylvester. Cut to Tweety, in African garb]

Cry freedom!

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Elmer
[At the Louvre, as Daffy grabs the playing-card lens, Elmer Fudd jams his shotgun into the back of Daffy's head.]

I'll take that!

Bugs

Em, what gives, Doc? We made thoity-five pictures together.

Elmer

Well, as it tuwns out, I'm secwetwy evil.

Daffy
[snorts]

That's showbiz for ya!

Elmer

Now, make with the card, so I can pwease my dark masters!

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Dusty
[At the Wooden Nickel, diva Dusty Tails changes while she talks about her career.]

I also work for the Agency. Professional assassin. It's really hard for me to juggle the two sometimes. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I have kids!

Dusty
[She comes out wearing a shiny black-leather catsuit.]

Do you know how hard it is to find a nanny with advanced weapons training?

Daffy
[gives a wolf-whistle]

How many galoshes died to make that little number?

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Daffy
[Bugs and Daffy enter the Persistence of Memory painting to evade Elmer Fudd. Elmer follows, enters, and takes aim, until his gun melts, remaining true to the theme of the painting. Bugs and Daffy laugh at him and run off, but they too start melting; their voices are slow and toned to a low key]

Well, this is surreal.

Elmer
[Producing icons that represent each word he says]

Stop, or I'll fire! [Attempts to take aim again]

Bugs and Daffy

Yipe!
[Elmer fires, but the bullets are only propelled a few inches away. Elmer starts to melt completely out of shape. Bugs and Daffy make their way to the next painting through the wallpaper]

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D.J.
[D.J. and Daffy Duck drive to Las Vegas.]

I'm not a security guard! For your information, it's just a job. It's what I do for money.

Daffy

Um-hmm.

D.J.

What I really do is... I'm... I'm a... I'm a stuntman.

Daffy

Hah! You, a stuntman? Please!

D.J.

I am! Did you see those Mummy movies? I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is.

D.J.
[Daffy rolls his eyes, complete with cartoon sound effect]

Oh, no, you couldn't stand that! One day, he decides to say, "No-no-no! The Bren-Master does all his own stunts"!

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Dusty
[D.J. tries to take the Mona Lisa Queen of Diamonds playing card from Dusty, who instead slips it inside her outfit]

That is so sweet! You, trying to take over for your father. These evil forces, they're bad people!

Daffy

Relax, sister! I don't know the meaning of the word "fear"!

Yosemite Sam
[Daffy opens the door and finds himself facing a lit cannon.]

Say your prayers, Duck!

Daffy

"Fear: Noun. A state of terror". Aaaah!

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Bugs
[D.J., Kate, Bugs, and Daffy approach a dead end]

Eh, just a suggestion, but all those in favor of not hittin' that wall, say "aye".

D.J. and Kate

AYE!!!

Daffy

Mother!

Spy car computer

Taking you to Mother!
[the car takes to the sky before it can hit the wall]

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Kate
[Driving alongside the good guys, Nasty Canasta lights a stick of dynamite to throw into their car.]

Dynamite?! Who has dynamite?!

Daffy
[scoffs]

Welcome to my world.

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Daffy
[From behind, we see the elephant come upon a picturesque lost city in the jungle.]

What a fantastic view!

Bugs

Unless you're in the audience, in which case you've been staring at an elephant's behind for thoity seconds.

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D.J.
[In the desert, D.J. spots a Wal-Mart store, rippling in the heat]

Hey, look at that!

Bugs

Is it a mirage, or just product placement?

Daffy

Who cares? With shopping convenience at such low prices!

Daffy
[Daffy runs toward the image.]

Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your product name here! Woo-hoo-hoo!

DJ
[to Kate]

Is this your idea?

Kate
[She opens her mouth to object, then gets defensive.]

The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.

Bugs
[D.J. shares his disappointed look with the audience; later, the intrepid adventurers depart the desert Wal-Mart with beverages]

Nice of Wal-Mart to provide these Wal-Mart beverages in retoin for us saying "Wal-Mart" so many times.

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Mother
[Inside the Area 52 lab, chief spy-scientist Mother talks to the DJ et al.]

This isn't about the giant ants, is it?

Kate

Giant... ants?

Mother

'Cause they're not really ants... anymore.

D.J.
[Mother drinks from a flask of blue liquid.]

Tell me about the Blue Monkey.

Mother
[She spews her beverage on D.J.]

How do you know about that thing that I've never heard of in my entire life?

D.J.

My dad told me.

Mother

What is the point of making them pinky-swear?!

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