Mantis quotes from Kung Fu Panda (2008)

View Quote Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'mma need a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice. (he slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; everyone laughs) What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing, ...Master Shifu. (everyone laughs again.)
Po (impersonating Master Shifu): You will never be the Dragon Warrior unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth. (The Furious Five, except Tigress, laugh) What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday you will have ears like mine! (he brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Furious Five laugh, but stop and see Shifu behind Po) Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good...
Monkey (whispering): It's Shifu!
Po: Of course it's Shifu, who do you think I'm doing? (Monkey points to the door. Po looks and sees Shifu.)
Po: Oh, Master Shifu! Uh.... (Slurps the noodle and accidently presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he has on a bikini bottom top. The Five laugh.)
Shifu: (Agrily) You think this is funny?

View Quote (Mantis is giving Po acupuncture) Po: I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel [Mantis strikes another needle] better...
Mantis: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this...
Po: Fat?
Mantis: Fur. I was gonna say fur.
Po: Sure you were.

View Quote Tigress: [after Tigress lectures Po and he makes a weird facial expression] Oh, that's it! [about to punch him]
Mantis: Wait! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve! [Po falls over with his back full of needles] ...And I may have also stopped his heart.

View Quote [as Po bounces down the palace steps] Tigress: If he's smart, he won't come back up those stairs.
Monkey: But he will.
Viper: He's not gonna quit, is he?
Mantis: He's not gonna quit bouncing, I can tell you that.

View Quote General Vachir: [to Tai Lung] Hey, tough guy, did you hear? Oogway's finally going to give someone the Dragon Scroll, and it's not gonna be you.
Mantis: [while putting Po under acupuncture] Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size? I mean, look at me. I'm over here.

View Quote Mantis: There's no words.
Crane: No denying that.
Viper: I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed.
Crane: [mocking Po's lack of skills; sarcastically] He is so mighty! The Dragon Warrior - fell out of the sky in a ball of fire!
Mantis: When he walks, the very ground shakes.
[The Furious Five laugh, except Tigress]
Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane: Yeah, or could be at least touch his toes.
Monkey: Or even see his toes.
[The Furious Five laugh again. The camera turns to Po, having heard their insult about him.]