Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers (2022) quotes

View Quote Baloo: Well, I'll be. Chip and Dale together again. I never thought I'd see the day.
[Jimmy runs past Baloo]
Jimmy: Get back here!
[He stops offscreen and returns to come face-to-face with him]
Jimmy: Wow! Yo, man, it's you!
Baloo: Baloo. It's nice to meet you.
Jimmy: Aaah! No way! Can I touch your face? I mean, what's going on?

View Quote Bjornson: Huh. Interesting. My boss, Sweet Pete, he loves actors.
Dale: Ah, yeah. Who doesn't?
Bjornson: You know, I think you should meet him.
Dale: Really? Meeting Sweet Pete, huh? Looks like I just took us from outside the club to the VIP room. [blinks]
[Cut Chip and Dale are zip tied in Bjornson's truck. Chip is mad at Dale]
Chip: [talking sarcastically] Wow! This VIP room is incredible! I'm freaking out, dude. [gasps] Is that Jessica Rabbit over there? I'm only asking because... I'M ZIP TIED IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK!!!
Dale: Whoa! What's with the attitude? We were about to get kicked out with your plan, and now, thanks to my sweet improv, we're going to see Sweet Pete.
Chip: Oh, you're insane.
Dale: Am I?
Chip: Of course.
Dale: So, you'd rather just give up?
Chip: No!
Dale: You wanna just wait around...
Chip: You should've just let me take the lead!
[both of them start quarreling in high-pitched voices]
Dale: [normal voice] Hey! Hold on a second! How adorable are we? Chemistry like this doesn't just happen. This has got reboot written all over it.
Chip: Ugh. Are you serious? I should be home right now. Millie is probably worried sick and peeing all over the place.
Dale: Oh, are you seeing someone? She sounds... nice.
Chip: She's a dog. Millie is a dog.
Dale: Ah, I'm sure she's not that bad.
Chip: What? No, she's...
[Bjornson's truck stops outside the Valley Gang's headquarters. Bjornson opens the doors of his truck to pick out Chip and Dale to his boss]
Bjornson: We're here.

View Quote Bjornson: So, you want stinky cheese? I got smell lines that'll take you through the ceiling.
Chip: "Through the ceiling," huh? Seems like you a quality product. But hey, before we get into all that, do me a favor. Take a look at this photo. [shows a photo of Monterey] It's a friend of mine named Monterey Jack.
Bjornson: Which is also the name of a cheese. [pause for a few seconds] Continue.
Chip: Right. So, we think he's being held in a warehouse somewhere. If you know anything, I'm sure we could make it worth your while. Like, what would you say to some complementary RV or boat insurance?
Bjornson: Nah, I don't know nothin'. Now, either buy some cheese or get out.

View Quote Chip: And so, I just wanna thank all of you for the greatest three years of my life. When I think back to where this all started, me finding Dale sitting all alone in the cafeteria, so sad.
Dale: Well, I wasn't that sad.
[the cast and the crew members laugh]
Monterey "Monty" Jack: That's funny.
Chip: But never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd be here now. So, to you, Dale, my best friend, and to all of you.
Gadget: And to everyone who loves a short toast.
Chip: [chuckles] Okay, okay. To many more seasons of the Rescue Rangers. Cheers!
Cast and Crew: Cheers!

View Quote Chip: No way. Is that...?
Gadget: Wow, those ears are huge.
Monty: Gadget, Zipper! I must be dreaming.
Dale: Can you believe it? All the Rescue Rangers together.
Chip: It has been a long time. It's really good to see you guys.
Zipper: It is wonderful to see you all.

View Quote Chip: OK, what?! How did you know what I was gonna say?
Dale: How did you know what I was gonna say?! It was like...
Together: Professional! [gasp] Same time! [gasp again] Jinx! You owe me a non-brand specific cola! What?! That was crazy! [both gasp again] Somebody call Guinness book! [gasp again] This is...
Dale: ...Blowing my mind!
Chip: ...Incredible!
Dale: Oh, we lost it.
DJ Herzogenaurach: Boom, boom! It's DJ Herzogenaurach with the Disney Afternoon remix!
Chip: Hey, this was really fun, but we actually got to get going!
Herzongenaurach: Ooh, they were very bad at rapping.

View Quote Chip: Putty! He's getting away!
Ellie: I'm on it.

View Quote Dale: How do they know we're here?
Chip: I'm guessing your social media post at the police station.
Dale: Ah. Oops. [chuckles] Yeah, that's my bad. [sits on one of He-Man's shoes]
He-Man: Hey, there's something down there.
Skeletor: There's nothing down there, ya boob! You walk around with no pants long enough, and you start to notice every breeze. [laughs]
Bob: [looking under the table where Chip and Dale were] Gotcha! [Chip and Dale are gone.] Huh?

View Quote Jimmy: Step aside. Move.
[Jimmy looks around and saw someone, thinking it is Chip and Dale]
Jimmy: There they are.
Sweet Pete: Well, go get them!

View Quote Paul Rudd: You know, originally, it was called Aunt Man, A-U-N-T, and my superpower was being really charming to aunts. [laughs] That's great, isn't it? Yeah, they changed it…
Chip: Whoa! Coming through.
Paul Rudd: [shouts]
Dale: Love your work!
[Ponies, including the Mane 6, from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic gallop]
Chip: Whoa!
Dale: Watch out!
[Chip rides on Fluttershy. Dale lays on his back as he rides on Applejack by her hat]
Chip: OK. Nice horsey, nice horsey.
Dale: [laughing] Whoa!

View Quote Zipper: Ah, there it is. The foreboding fortress on the horizon.
Gadget: Oh, I love it when you talk fancy, honey.
Zipper: Thank you, my love.
Dale: Aw.
Gadget: Looks like the only way in is through that exhaust pipe.
Dale: [using a firework] Okay, good. Try to line me up with it.
Zipper: Are you sure you wanna do this, Dale?
Dale: As sure as I've ever been.
Gadget: But you're, like, known for constantly making terrible decisions.
Dale: I know, right?
Zipper: [lights a match] Rescue Rangers, away.

View Quote [after Chip and Dale find out that Monty has been bootlegged]
Chip: I know we missed something, Dale. I can feel it.
Dale: [recording himself on his phone] Hey, just wanna remind you guys, I'll be at Fan Con this afternoon, signing autographs. So, get those nuts ready! [chuckles uneasily] Yeah...
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Dale: What? It's my job.
Chip: It's a choice. [scoff] I'm getting some coffee.
Dale: Come on! I have to stay connected to the fans!
Chip: There are no fans! It's for you! It's always for you, to feed your selfish ego. I thought you had changed, but you haven't changed since Double-0 Dale!
Dale: Wait, so you are still mad about Double-0 Dale? I thought everything was artichokie.
Chip: You left, Dale. You left me high and dry. After everything we'd been through, everything I did for you!
Dale: So, we're not artichokie?
Chip: No artichokie! Nothing's every been artichokie. Okay? I'm alone. I sell insurance. My only friend is a dog!
Dale: Okay, but then why did you say it was artichokie? I mean, when someone tells me something's artichokie, I believe it's artichokie.
Chip: Ugh! Stop saying artichokie! What is it man?!
Newt Officer: Oh, uh, if you could just scooch a bit, from the coffee?
Chip: Yes, yes, of course. Sorry. Ugh. See? This is why I didn't want to see you anymore. Sure, my life is lonely, but at least I didn't feel like this!
Dale: Oh, yeah? Well, you're the same too! Chip's always in charge! Chip's always right! It's Chip's way or the highway!
Chip: You know what? Here. [hands Dale the missing pog] I've been holding on to this for some stupid reason. Now, your collection is complete.
Dale: [sighs] What, you kept this? You know the crazy thing is way back then... I didn't even wanna do Double-0 Dale.
Chip: What?
Dale: It's gonna sound stupid, but... [sighs] I think I just wanted you to tell me you needed me. That I wasn't just some pathetic chipmunk you found eating alone at school. You know, I wanted this pog for some silly reason, but now I don't. [tries to hand the pog to Chip] Here, now your collection's complete.
Chip: What?! Don't give me that! That's the exact same thing I said to you!
Dale: What? No, it's not. I said "silly reason", you said "stupid reason".
Chip: Well, I don't want it.
Dale: Neither do I.
Chip: Good.
Dale: [placing the pog on the counter] I'm putting on the ground.
Chip: Great.
Dale: Yeah.
Chip: Cool.
Dale: I know.
Chip: Neat.
Dale: It is neat. Thanks.

View Quote [at the Fan Con]
Ugly Sonic: [to Chip] You got a Snoopy ear! [laughs]
Dale: Yes, Ugly Sonic, his ear is hilarious, but do you have a contact at the FBI? Because we have some highly dangerous and classified information for them.
Ugly Sonic: Yeah, of course. I know tons of people at the FBI. I'm making a TV show with them.
Dale: Look, we really need your help, but we don't have a lot of time.
Ugly Sonic: Oh, you want me to go fast? [chuckles] That's Sonic's thing.
[Chip stares at Ugly Sonic's teeth]
Ugly Sonic: Ugly Sonic goes… [in slow-motion] …slow, baby. [laughs]
Dale: So, you're not gonna help us?
Ugly Sonic: No. I'm not.
Dale: Ugh! You don't have a show with the FBI. [Chip sees Sweet Pete, Jimmy and Bob] I knew it! I knew it!
Ugly Sonic: I wasn't finished.
Chip: Dale, we need to go.
Ugly Sonic: I'll run it by my producer later when I see him at the Chateau.
Dale: [gasps] Oh, no.
Chip: Quick, we'll lose them in the crowd.
Ugly Sonic: One day, you'll see, Dale. You'll turn on your television and all will be revealed.
Dale: No, it won't.
Ugly Sonic: Yes, it will!

View Quote [Bob takes Chip and Dale through Sweet Pete's factory]
Chip: I wonder if they're keeping Monty in here.
Dale: There's only one way to find out. [to Bob] So, is this your secret bootlegging facility or what?
Chip: Come on!
Bob: What? No! What are you talking about? This is Sweet Pete's legit business. It's for old merchandise that never got sold.
Chip: Old merchandise?
Bob: Yeah, like for example, you remember Shrek body wash?
Chip: Uh...
Bob: Exactly! No one does! It didn't sell. That's why Sweet Pete bought all the inventory and melts it down for its useful parts. The guy has a real eye for business. I wish I could see what he sees.
Dale: I'm sure there's corrective lenses or something you could get. [Chip elbows him] Ow! What? [they both see that the melted plastic from the bottles are used to make portable toilets] So, he turns the toys into toy-lets. [chuckles]
Bob: Wow! That's been staring at me for years and I never pieced it together! [laughs]

View Quote [Chip and Dale find out from the police that Monty has been kidnapped by the Valley Gang]
Captain Putty: Well, it eats me up inside to have to tell you this, but if he's been taken by the Valley Gang, I doubt we can help you. We've been trying for years to track those sleaze bags. A fella named Sweet Pete runs the whole operation, and he's always once step ahead of us.
Chip: What, so that's it? I-I thought that cops were supposed to serve and protect, not give up and move on.
Putty: Hey, I'd give anything to make a case against those scum. Sweet Pete's got his fingers in every illegal business from bootlegging to stinky cheese, getting rich while we look like we just fell off the turnip truck.
Ellie: [pops up from out the window, scaring Putty] All done, sir.
Putty: Oh, you scared the beans out of me, Steckler!
Ellie: Sorry, sir. I searched the perimeter. No clues.
Putty: Yeah, of course not. Why would there be? 6 missing toons in a month and not one clue.
Ellie: Well, maybe we should chick in with the neighbors? See if anyone saw anything?
Putty: Oh, yeah. You think? Why don't you just leave the real detective work to me, okay? [laughs]
Ellie: Right, sorry, sir.
Putty: Sheesh!
Sock Puppet Cop: Chief, the press are outside waiting for a statement.
Putty: [groans] Do I have anything on my back? [shows Ellie his back, which has a Monopoly iron and a bird officer stuck to it]
Ellie: Yes, sir. It looks like a Monopoly game piece and Officer O'Hara.
Putty: Officer...? What the...? [pulls O'Hara off his pack] Ugh, just want one day where my shirt stays clean. Okay, pack it up, boys. Let's go.