Bjornson the Cheesemonger quotes from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers (2022)
Played by Keegan-Michael Key
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[to Chip and Dale after they arrived at Sweet Pete's building] We're here.
Scenes with Bjornson the Cheesemonger
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Bjornson: So, you want stinky cheese? I got smell lines that'll take you through the ceiling.
Chip: "Through the ceiling," huh? Seems like you a quality product. But hey, before we get into all that, do me a favor. Take a look at this photo. [shows a photo of Monterey] It's a friend of mine named Monterey Jack.
Bjornson: Which is also the name of a cheese. [pause for a few seconds] Continue.
Chip: Right. So, we think he's being held in a warehouse somewhere. If you know anything, I'm sure we could make it worth your while. Like, what would you say to some complementary RV or boat insurance?
Bjornson: Nah, I don't know nothin'. Now, either buy some cheese or get out.
Chip: "Through the ceiling," huh? Seems like you a quality product. But hey, before we get into all that, do me a favor. Take a look at this photo. [shows a photo of Monterey] It's a friend of mine named Monterey Jack.
Bjornson: Which is also the name of a cheese. [pause for a few seconds] Continue.
Chip: Right. So, we think he's being held in a warehouse somewhere. If you know anything, I'm sure we could make it worth your while. Like, what would you say to some complementary RV or boat insurance?
Bjornson: Nah, I don't know nothin'. Now, either buy some cheese or get out.
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Bjornson: Huh. Interesting. My boss, Sweet Pete, he loves actors.
Dale: Ah, yeah. Who doesn't?
Bjornson: You know, I think you should meet him.
Dale: Really? Meeting Sweet Pete, huh? Looks like I just took us from outside the club to the VIP room. [blinks]
[Cut Chip and Dale are zip tied in Bjornson's truck. Chip is mad at Dale]
Chip: [talking sarcastically] Wow! This VIP room is incredible! I'm freaking out, dude. [gasps] Is that Jessica Rabbit over there? I'm only asking because... I'M ZIP TIED IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK!!!
Dale: Whoa! What's with the attitude? We were about to get kicked out with your plan, and now, thanks to my sweet improv, we're going to see Sweet Pete.
Chip: Oh, you're insane.
Dale: Am I?
Chip: Of course.
Dale: So, you'd rather just give up?
Chip: No!
Dale: You wanna just wait around...
Chip: You should've just let me take the lead!
[both of them start quarreling in high-pitched voices]
Dale: [normal voice] Hey! Hold on a second! How adorable are we? Chemistry like this doesn't just happen. This has got reboot written all over it.
Chip: Ugh. Are you serious? I should be home right now. Millie is probably worried sick and peeing all over the place.
Dale: Oh, are you seeing someone? She sounds... nice.
Chip: She's a dog. Millie is a dog.
Dale: Ah, I'm sure she's not that bad.
Chip: What? No, she's...
[Bjornson's truck stops outside the Valley Gang's headquarters. Bjornson opens the doors of his truck to pick out Chip and Dale to his boss]
Bjornson: We're here.
Dale: Ah, yeah. Who doesn't?
Bjornson: You know, I think you should meet him.
Dale: Really? Meeting Sweet Pete, huh? Looks like I just took us from outside the club to the VIP room. [blinks]
[Cut Chip and Dale are zip tied in Bjornson's truck. Chip is mad at Dale]
Chip: [talking sarcastically] Wow! This VIP room is incredible! I'm freaking out, dude. [gasps] Is that Jessica Rabbit over there? I'm only asking because... I'M ZIP TIED IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK!!!
Dale: Whoa! What's with the attitude? We were about to get kicked out with your plan, and now, thanks to my sweet improv, we're going to see Sweet Pete.
Chip: Oh, you're insane.
Dale: Am I?
Chip: Of course.
Dale: So, you'd rather just give up?
Chip: No!
Dale: You wanna just wait around...
Chip: You should've just let me take the lead!
[both of them start quarreling in high-pitched voices]
Dale: [normal voice] Hey! Hold on a second! How adorable are we? Chemistry like this doesn't just happen. This has got reboot written all over it.
Chip: Ugh. Are you serious? I should be home right now. Millie is probably worried sick and peeing all over the place.
Dale: Oh, are you seeing someone? She sounds... nice.
Chip: She's a dog. Millie is a dog.
Dale: Ah, I'm sure she's not that bad.
Chip: What? No, she's...
[Bjornson's truck stops outside the Valley Gang's headquarters. Bjornson opens the doors of his truck to pick out Chip and Dale to his boss]
Bjornson: We're here.
Other characters in Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers (2022): Chip · Dale · Ellie Steckler · Sweet Pete · Gadget Hackwrench · Bob the Viking · Captain S. Putty · Jimmy the Polar Bear · Zipper · DJ Herzogenaurach · Monterey Jack