Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) quotes

View Quote Captain Underpants: [holding Professor P.’s file] Sidekicks, explain to me the importance of this secret file.
George: There's a new super villain in town and we're trying to discover his weakness.
Captain Underpants: Oh...
[George and Harold threw papers out of Professor P.'s file until they found his last name.]
George and Harold: [gasp] "Poopypants". ♪ Hallelujah. ♪
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
♪ His name is Poopypants, ♪
♪ We found his weakness, ♪
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
Harold: ♪ He wants to rid the world of laughter ♪
George: ♪ Forever ♪
George and Harold: ♪ And ever ♪
♪ We will defeat him ♪
♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
[The angels versions of George and Harold do quiet-fives.]
Captain Underpants: ♪ Poopypants. ♪
Harold: [holds Krupp’s pants] Captain? You forgetting something?
Captain Underpants: Oh, look at that. They came off again.

View Quote Captain Underpants: [repeated line] Tra-la-la!

View Quote Captain Underpants: [sees a mime performing for some citizens] What's this? Poor soul, you are trapped in some sort of invisible box-like prison. What's that? I can't hear you, but I see your tears.
Harold: [chuckles] Is it okay that I'm kind of loving this?
George: Yes and no. But mostly yes.
Captain Underpants: Fear not, I will set you free! [accidentally punches the mime]
Mime: OW!
George and Harold: Ooh!
Mime: What is wrong with you?!
Captain Underpants: Ah, that's better. I can hear you now.
Harold: Sorry, sorry, sorry. [tosses a coin into the mime’s tip jar]

View Quote Captain Underpants: How many A’s are there in "Tra-la-la"? [Professor Poopypants: What?] I will just go with eleven.

View Quote Captain Underpants: Let is see. Underpants, check. [his underwear is tight] Captain, check. I'm pretty sure I'm Captain Underpants.

View Quote Captain Underpants: Now, I take to the sky like an ostrich!

View Quote Captain Underpants: Now, this is how you run a school!

View Quote Captain Underpants: Why, thank you, vehicle person!

View Quote Captain Underpants: [from trailer while attacking an inflatable ape] I think I am starting to tire him out!

View Quote Driver: Out of the road, bozo!

View Quote George: [enters Krupp’s office with Harold; about Professor P.] We gotta do something about that new science teacher.
Harold: Yeah. It's like he's even more villain than Krupp.
George: I didn't even think that was possible.
Krupp: Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
Harold: Tell me about it.
Krupp: Wait, who do you think...
Harold: Oh, okay. Maybe we can fix this if we just...
Krupp: Can you hear me?
Harold: Ah, that'll never work.
Krupp: [blabbering] I'm sitting right here.
George: Wait. Professor P. doesn't want anybody to know his last name, right?
Harold: Right!
Krupp: Who's "Professor P."?
George: Exactly!
Krupp: [grunts] WHERE IS THE RESPECT?! I AM YOUR PRINCIPAL!!
George: Wait, is he Krupp again?
Krupp: GEORGE!
Harold: Yep. Pretty sure he is.
Krupp: HAROLD!!
Harold: How’d that even happen?
Krupp: AAAHH!!!!!!!
[George and Harold snap their fingers, which turns Krupp back into Captain Underpants.]
Captain Underpants: Tra-la-laaaaaaaaa!

View Quote George: [The scene stops before the Turbo Toilet 2000 crushes Captain Underpants.] Freeze! The following sequences contain scenes that are so intense, horrific, and violent…
Harold: And expensive.
George: That we can only show using a technology known as…
George and Harold: Flip-O-Rama!
George: Take it away, Harold!
Harold: Okay. First, Professor Poopypants gave Captain Underpants the boot.
George: Foot, foot, ow!
Harold: Then he made an Underpants sandwich.
George: Punch, punch, punch, punch!
Harold: And then, they played a friendly game of paddleball. [accidentally rips the page] Ah, no! Darn it. Oh, well. What's next? Oh, yeah! Then, Poopypants summoned an army of dolphins!
George: Wait, what? Why are you always sneaking dolphins into the movie?
Harold: What do you have against dolphins anyway?
George: I don't have anything against dolphins, it just didn't happen!
Harold: Well, so what?! We get to say what happened, it's the Flip-O-Rama.
[puts shoe prints on his illustrations] I like dolphins! The dolphins are in.
George: Fine. Fine, let's just keep going.
Harold: Really?
George: Yeah. Go ahead.
Harold: Thank you. Anyway, Poopypants didn't realize it, but George and Harold's plan was working out perfectly. So they shot themselves to the top of the Turbo-Toilet 2000! To keep things dramatic, they didn't quite make it. And then, uh... And then...
[Back in reality, Harold and George are dangling over the edge of the Turbo-Toilet 2000.]
George: What happened to the Flip-O-Rama?!
Harold: I ran out of paper.
[The Turbo-Toilet 2000 still plays the "friendly" game of paddleball with Captain Underpants as the ball.]

View Quote Harold Hutchins: We gotta stop him.
George: Why?
[A car hits Captain Underpants.]
Captain Underpants: Huzzah!
Driver: Out of the road, bozo!
Captain Underpants: Why, thank you, vehicle person! [jumps over a fence to Piqua] Ow!
George: Yeah, we should probably go get him.

View Quote Harold: [raises his hand to get Professor P.’s attention] Um, excuse me, Professor, eh… P? Why are you trying to get rid of laughter? Isn't laughter the best medicine?
Professor P.: [shouts at Harold] MEDICINE is the best medicine! So...
Harold: Yeesh. [hides behind his desk]
[George raises his hand.]
Professor P.: What?
George: What does the P stand for?
Professor P.: Uh, excuse me?
George: The P. In your name. What does it stand for?
Professor P.: Oh, it's private.
George: So, that means your name is Professor Privates?
[All the children, except Melvin, in the classroom laugh. Professor P. feels terrified as he turns and glares at them.]
Melvin: [realizing what's going on] What's so funny? I don't-I don't get it.
[Professor P. jumps on Harold's desk, causing the children to be terrified.]
Professor P.: Principal's office, now! [to Harold] You too!
George: Why him?
Professor P.: Because your friendship and shared sense of humor irritates me, and MUST BE DESTROYED!!!

View Quote Harold: [whispers to George] George, do something!
[As Krupp signs the classroom change paperwork, George jumps on his desk and points the ring at him.]
George: Put the pen down, Mr. Krupp, or we'll hypnotize you!
Krupp: What?!
Harold: What?
George: [to Harold] You said do something!
Krupp: [looks at the ring, confused] What is that?
[A flashback shows the ring being made in Shandong.]
George: Forged from the molten plastic of Shandong, China. In the lowest floor of the darkest basement where only toy prizes are made... exists the most powerful item ever to be found in a box of Frosted Sugar Doodles: [back to the present] the Hypno-Ring.
Krupp: Hypnotize me? With that piece of plastic junk? [laughs]
Harold: [to George] Does that really work?
George: [to Harold] What do you think? I got it out of a cereal box! [to Krupp] I'm warning you! If you don't do what we say, you're gonna get really sleepy!
Krupp: Oh, will I? I'll get sleepy? [laughs] With that thing pointing at me? [stares deeper into the ring] It's now making me sleepy. [yawns, then stares even deeper at the ring] I'm not gonna get sleepy from... Whoa! [A globe of the Earth starts spinning and floating, then Krupp, George, Harold and everything else starts floating as well.] What kind of plastic hokum is this?
Harold: Whoa! What's happening?
George: I don't know! Why are we floating?
[A spiral appears in each of Krupp's eyes, causing everything to stop floating. Krupp bangs his head on his desk and falls back, but George and Harold land in their seats.]
Harold: What was that?
George: I don't know. I honestly didn't think that would happen.
[The duo walks over to the hypnotized Krupp and Harold waves his hand over his face. Nothing happens. He takes the turtle off of Krupp's leg and puts it in his backpack.]
Harold: Gotcha! You're safe now, little turtle.
[The turtle grins gratefully.]
George: [over Krupp] When I snap my fingers, you will obey our every command.
Harold: Wait, how do you know this?
George: I don't know. I just say the first thing that comes to my mind with great authority. [to Krupp] You are now a chicken!
[George snaps his fingers. Then Krupp starts acting like a chicken.]
Harold: It worked! He's a chicken. Let me try, let me try! [to Krupp] Uh… You're a monkey!
[Harold snaps his own fingers. Krupp starts acting like a crazy monkey.]
Harold: Oh, look at him! He's a monkey!
[George and Harold pull up a Captain Underpants comic, and that gives them an idea.]
Both: You are now the greatest superhero of all time, the amazing Captain Underpants!
[George snaps his fingers again. Krupp removes his clothes, takes down one of the curtains from the window, then throws his hair off. George and Harold gape as comic book pages fly by revealing Krupp, now Captain Underpants.]
Captain Underpants: Tra-la-laaaaa!