Mr. Krupp / Captain Underpants quotes from Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)

View Quote Krupp: I’ve told you two a thousand times not to draw these idiotic comics!

View Quote Krupp: In my office, NOW!!!!!!

View Quote Krupp: This morning is school sign is supposed to read "Sewage Plant Field Trips are Today". So can either of you explain why it now reads... [pulls up the blinds revealing the school sign] "COME SEE MY HAIRY ARMPITS”?

View Quote Krupp: Get out of my office. NOW!!!

View Quote Krupp: Why am I soaking wet?!

View Quote Captain Underpants: How many A’s are there in "Tra-la-la"? [Professor Poopypants: What?] I will just go with eleven.

View Quote Captain Underpants: Now, this is how you run a school!

View Quote Captain Underpants: Now, I take to the sky like an ostrich!

View Quote Krupp: For four long years, you two have been disrupting the carefully calibrated, drone-like beehive, that this elementary school is supposed to be. I may not be able to prove it yet. I am going to get you two, one day. One day, very, very soon.

View Quote Krupp: Ever since you've attended this elementary school, you've been responsible for one prank after another.

View Quote Captain Underpants: [repeated line] Tra-la-la!

View Quote Captain Underpants: Let is see. Underpants, check. [his underwear is tight] Captain, check. I'm pretty sure I'm Captain Underpants.

View Quote Krupp: OH, WHERE IS THE RESPECT?!?! I AM YOUR PRINCIPAL!!!!!! [George: Wait, is he Krupp again?] GEORGE!!!!!!!! [Harold: Yup. I'm pretty sure he is.] HAROLD!!!!!!!! [Harold: How did that even happen?]

View Quote Krupp: You boys are in big trouble! [stuttering] I-I-I-I do not know how big yet, b-but I– [falls into a lawn chair] AH! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?! Where are my clothes?! WHERE ARE THEY?!

View Quote Captain Underpants: [from trailer while attacking an inflatable ape] I think I am starting to tire him out!

View Quote Krupp: You two... your friendship is... NO MORE.

View Quote Captain Underpants: Why, thank you, vehicle person!

View Quote Harold: [whispers to George] George, do something!
[As Krupp signs the classroom change paperwork, George jumps on his desk and points the ring at him.]
George: Put the pen down, Mr. Krupp, or we'll hypnotize you!
Krupp: What?!
Harold: What?
George: [to Harold] You said do something!
Krupp: [looks at the ring, confused] What is that?
[A flashback shows the ring being made in Shandong.]
George: Forged from the molten plastic of Shandong, China. In the lowest floor of the darkest basement where only toy prizes are made... exists the most powerful item ever to be found in a box of Frosted Sugar Doodles: [back to the present] the Hypno-Ring.
Krupp: Hypnotize me? With that piece of plastic junk? [laughs]
Harold: [to George] Does that really work?
George: [to Harold] What do you think? I got it out of a cereal box! [to Krupp] I'm warning you! If you don't do what we say, you're gonna get really sleepy!
Krupp: Oh, will I? I'll get sleepy? [laughs] With that thing pointing at me? [stares deeper into the ring] It's now making me sleepy. [yawns, then stares even deeper at the ring] I'm not gonna get sleepy from... Whoa! [A globe of the Earth starts spinning and floating, then Krupp, George, Harold and everything else starts floating as well.] What kind of plastic hokum is this?
Harold: Whoa! What's happening?
George: I don't know! Why are we floating?
[A spiral appears in each of Krupp's eyes, causing everything to stop floating. Krupp bangs his head on his desk and falls back, but George and Harold land in their seats.]
Harold: What was that?
George: I don't know. I honestly didn't think that would happen.
[The duo walks over to the hypnotized Krupp and Harold waves his hand over his face. Nothing happens. He takes the turtle off of Krupp's leg and puts it in his backpack.]
Harold: Gotcha! You're safe now, little turtle.
[The turtle grins gratefully.]
George: [over Krupp] When I snap my fingers, you will obey our every command.
Harold: Wait, how do you know this?
George: I don't know. I just say the first thing that comes to my mind with great authority. [to Krupp] You are now a chicken!
[George snaps his fingers. Then Krupp starts acting like a chicken.]
Harold: It worked! He's a chicken. Let me try, let me try! [to Krupp] Uh… You're a monkey!
[Harold snaps his own fingers. Krupp starts acting like a crazy monkey.]
Harold: Oh, look at him! He's a monkey!
[George and Harold pull up a Captain Underpants comic, and that gives them an idea.]
Both: You are now the greatest superhero of all time, the amazing Captain Underpants!
[George snaps his fingers again. Krupp removes his clothes, takes down one of the curtains from the window, then throws his hair off. George and Harold gape as comic book pages fly by revealing Krupp, now Captain Underpants.]
Captain Underpants: Tra-la-laaaaa!

View Quote Harold Hutchins: We gotta stop him.
George: Why?
[A car hits Captain Underpants.]
Captain Underpants: Huzzah!
Driver: Out of the road, bozo!
Captain Underpants: Why, thank you, vehicle person! [jumps over a fence to Piqua] Ow!
George: Yeah, we should probably go get him.

View Quote Captain Underpants: [sees a mime performing for some citizens] What's this? Poor soul, you are trapped in some sort of invisible box-like prison. What's that? I can't hear you, but I see your tears.
Harold: [chuckles] Is it okay that I'm kind of loving this?
George: Yes and no. But mostly yes.
Captain Underpants: Fear not, I will set you free! [accidentally punches the mime]
Mime: OW!
George and Harold: Ooh!
Mime: What is wrong with you?!
Captain Underpants: Ah, that's better. I can hear you now.
Harold: Sorry, sorry, sorry. [tosses a coin into the mime’s tip jar]

View Quote George: [enters Krupp’s office with Harold; about Professor P.] We gotta do something about that new science teacher.
Harold: Yeah. It's like he's even more villain than Krupp.
George: I didn't even think that was possible.
Krupp: Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
Harold: Tell me about it.
Krupp: Wait, who do you think...
Harold: Oh, okay. Maybe we can fix this if we just...
Krupp: Can you hear me?
Harold: Ah, that'll never work.
Krupp: [blabbering] I'm sitting right here.
George: Wait. Professor P. doesn't want anybody to know his last name, right?
Harold: Right!
Krupp: Who's "Professor P."?
George: Exactly!
Krupp: [grunts] WHERE IS THE RESPECT?! I AM YOUR PRINCIPAL!!
George: Wait, is he Krupp again?
Krupp: GEORGE!
Harold: Yep. Pretty sure he is.
Krupp: HAROLD!!
Harold: How’d that even happen?
Krupp: AAAHH!!!!!!!
[George and Harold snap their fingers, which turns Krupp back into Captain Underpants.]
Captain Underpants: Tra-la-laaaaaaaaa!

View Quote Professor Poopypants: [after catching George and Harold for creating a comic about him; to Captain Underpants] Ah, there you are. I've been looking all over for you.
Captain Underpants: [adds many A’s to the school sign as part of his catchphrase] How many A's are there in "Tra-la-laa"?
Professor Poopypants: What?
Captain Underpants: I'll just go with 11. Enjoying your first day, Professor?
Professor Poopypants: The complete opposite, actually! Look at what these little monsters have created! [gives the comic book to Captain Underpants] We must lock them up, probably like, forever!
Captain Underpants: [examines the comic book] Hmm... Oh, my. This is not a comic! This… is a history book.
Professor Poopypants: [takes back the comic book] What?
[George and Harold chuckle from behind.]
Captain Underpants: And as such, it should be taught in every classroom. And you, yourself, must teach it. Because that is how good it is.
Professor Poopypants: I don't understand. I thought, like, we'd be on the same page here.
Captain Underpants: Oh, what page is that? I'm on page 9 here. It's fantastic. Look. It's about this evil science teacher, who looks a lot like you, by the way, and he wants to rid the world of laughter, but he couldn't figure out how to do it. Even worse, it seems like everywhere he went, people were having fun and laughing. It was just infuriating! But then, he discovers someone who wasn't. [as Anti-Humor Boy] I don't get it! Why is it funny? [in his normal voice] ANTI-HUMOR BOY! And then the professor said... [as Professor Poopypants] Very interesting. [in his normal voice again] That's my voice for him.
Professor Poopypants: Wait, wait, wait, gimme that. [snatches the comic] That's not Anti-Humor Boy. That's the... suck-up from class. Very interesting. [laughs, to George and Harold] You boys don't even realize it but your silly comic book just helped me figure out how to wipe out laughter on the entire...
[The same car from earlier hits Poopypants.]
Driver 1: Out of the road, bozo!
Professor Poopypants: HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING! You just hit Professor Poopypants!
Driver 1: [hears his name] Poopypants? [laughs and drives away]
Professor Poopypants: That's not funny! THAT'S NOT FUNNY! [gets hit by another car]
Driver 2: EVER HEARD OF A SIDEWALK?!
Professor Poopypants: Oooh, if I had insurance, you'd be in...OW! [finally gets hit by an ice cream truck, his glasses fall off and onto the road] I'll admit that was surprising.

View Quote Captain Underpants: [holding Professor P.’s file] Sidekicks, explain to me the importance of this secret file.
George: There's a new super villain in town and we're trying to discover his weakness.
Captain Underpants: Oh...
[George and Harold threw papers out of Professor P.'s file until they found his last name.]
George and Harold: [gasp] "Poopypants". ♪ Hallelujah. ♪
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
♪ His name is Poopypants, ♪
♪ We found his weakness, ♪
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
Harold: ♪ He wants to rid the world of laughter ♪
George: ♪ Forever ♪
George and Harold: ♪ And ever ♪
♪ We will defeat him ♪
♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
[The angels versions of George and Harold do quiet-fives.]
Captain Underpants: ♪ Poopypants. ♪
Harold: [holds Krupp’s pants] Captain? You forgetting something?
Captain Underpants: Oh, look at that. They came off again.

View Quote Krupp: Uh. OH! How did this?! [Sees the children was doing awful things on the carnival] I don’t understand.
Balloon Girl: HELP!
Krupp: [shocked] What the?! [gets angry] You! [angrily stares at George and Harold and lands with his parachute] You...
George: [in horror] Aaah! [he snaps his finger to turn Mr. Krupp into Captain Underpants, but it is not working because of the rain.]
Krupp: [enraged] You two... your friendship… is... NO MORE!

View Quote Professor Poopypants: [holds the shrunken school] [chuckles] Look what I've got. A tiny school filled with tiny children... [they look outside the window, shriek and run away] and their tiny teachers whose tiny salaries reflect their size and also... the value society puts on education.
Captain Underpants: [grabs the school] I'll take that!
Professor Poopypants: [turns his attention to the gun] Oh! Then I'll take that!
[Harold slaps the giant man with his huge hand.]
Professor Poopypants: [in pain] Ow! Did you just slap me?
Harold: Yes, I did. And you deserved it.
Professor Poopypants: No, I didn't! Your hand is huge! That hurt a lot! Give it back, it's mine! [grabs the gun]
Harold: [grabs the gun as well] No! Hands off!
Professor Poopypants: No fair! No backsies!
Harold: [fights over the gun] Give it to me!
Professor Poopypants: [fights over the gun] Would you just give me that?
[Harold accidentally shrinks Poopypants' head.]
Professor Poopypants: [screams] Now look what you've done!