Officer Monica Romero
You're making a big mistake.
Snake
Story of my life.
Scenes with Officer Monica Romero
8 scenes Officer Monica Romero
Snake
Officer Monica Romero
[Officer Monica Romero and Agent Greer are in his car, arguing about Russian bombs and missiles]
Where did they get that stuff?
Pat Greer
Russia.
Officer Monica Romero
Don't the Russians have controls on that kind of thing?
Pat Greer
You'd faint if you knew. A few months ago, somebody got a warhead out of a missile-dismantlement facility in a place called -...
Alan Seitz
Sergijev Posad. Not far from Moscow. Beautiful churches there.
Pat Greer
Anyway, somebody who knew what they were doing modified it. Dumped it on some guys who run a place here called The Jolly Jackal.
Officer Monica Romero
The bar?
Pat Greer
That bar has more AK-47s than Budweiser.
Alan Seitz
What makes you think this is the first time?
Pat Greer
Never mind which time this is. The important thing is we got those assholes trapped at the airport, and until we say further, no plane is taking off.
Officer Monica Romero
You can do that?
Arthur Herk
[making an opinion on who might have shot his TV]
I'll tell you who did it. It's probably some goddamn kids. 'Cause these goddamn kids today, they all got goddamn guns, and they're all sniffing glue!
Officer Monica Romero
Any additional insights, Mr. Herk? Any information can help us to protect you.
Arthur Herk
I seriously doubt that you or any other member of the police force in this town could protect their own dicks with both hands.
Officer Monica Romero
Thank you for that observation.
Officer Monica Romero
I'm not gonna arrest you, Matt, unless Mrs. Herk wants to press charges.
Anna Herk
Hey, kids.
Arthur Herk
I want to press charges! Cuff him!
Officer Monica Romero
My hands are kind of full right now, what with holding my dick and all.
{Having been sprayed by a hallucinogenic toad, Arthur is hallucinating that his dog possesses the head of Martha Stewart]
Arthur Herk
Oh, my God! She's coming to get me!
Pat Greer
The dog, sir?
Arthur Herk
No, not that! Her!
Pat Greer
Who?
Arthur Herk
You know! Her!
Martha Stewart
Herk, Herk, Herk! Herk!
Arthur Herk
Oh, my God, she knows my name... She knows everything! She's come to take my soul!
Pat Greer
Mr. Herk, this is important...
Arthur Herk
Please don't let her take my soul!
Pat Greer
[Arthur begins sobbing and moaning incoherently]
What the hell's he talking about?
Officer Monica Romero
I don't know.
Alan Seitz
How close did he get to that toad?
Officer Monica Romero
Like face first.
Alan Seitz
Beufotin. Hell of a hallucination. He's gone and he's not coming back.
Martha Stewart
growls
Alan Seitz
Discovery Channel.
Jenny Herk
Good thing you ran away, Arthur, you might have gotten wet.
Arthur Herk
Shut up!
Officer Monica Romero
Easy...
Arthur Herk
Don't tell me easy, this is my goddamn house!
Officer Monica Romero
And these are my handcuffs, and if you don't take it easy, you'll be wearing my handcuffs in your goddamn house.
Officer Monica Romero
[lowering her voice]
You're going to shoot that plane down? You can't do this! There's innocent people on that plane!
Pat Greer
If that nuke goes off over Freeport, many innocent people die. Now, nobody likes this, okay? But this has been discussed, believe me, as high as it can be, every scenario, and this is the only way out.
Officer Monica Romero
How soon?
Pat Greer
When the plane's over the Gulf Stream. Three minutes.
Officer Monica Romero
Well, what about the kid's father? Maybe he made it onto the plane.
Pat Greer
Let's say he did. Is he, by any chance, familiar with a Russian nuclear warhead with a plutonium rod encased in a terillium core?
Officer Monica Romero
I believe he's in advertising.
