Jeff Daniels movie quotes

View Quote Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this...and totally redeem yourself!

View Quote Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

View Quote Look at the fun-bags on that hose hound.

View Quote Hold to the last. To the last what? Exercise in rhetoric. Last shell? Last man? Last foot of ground? Last Reb?

View Quote We can't run away. If we stay here we can't shoot. So lets fix bayonets.

View Quote [repeated line, to his brother Thomas] Don't call me Lawrence.

View Quote [after electrocuting a spider] Therapy.

View Quote Respect is fine, but actually I've always wanted to be feared.

View Quote Come on, let's go find that spider. And let's find your mom to take care of that spider. Honey, we're in the living room. We need you to kill a spider.

View Quote [to Lili] Put me in your mouth.

View Quote She's a very risky writer, Lili. Very racy. I mean, exhibiting her **** in that fashion is very racy. I mean Lili has her influences in post modern literature, it's a bit derivative of Kafka, but for a student, very racy. Did you get that it was her ****?

View Quote [playing ping pong with Frank] You know, you have to try. If you don't try, it's no fun for me.

View Quote "He'd want to be here, but he'd want to stay mobile." "Yeah, well, Mac outweighs your gut, so we sit." "That's our scumbag!"

View Quote Jack: Tell me again, Harry. Why did I take this job?
Harry: Aw, come on. Thirty more years of this, you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch.
Jack: Cool.

View Quote [Jack calls Harry in his office while he is trying to get on the bus and tells him the bomber's back. Mac enters Harry's office.]
Mac: We got a random demand from your dead terrorist. He's rigged a city bus. Where's Jack?
Harry: [puts down the phone] Where do you think?

View Quote I don't get hurt or bleed, hair doesn't muss; it's one of the advantages of being imaginary.

View Quote It's so impulsive, but... I'll come. Why not? What's life without a little risk taking? Who knows?

View Quote Life's too short to spend time thinking about life. Let's just live it!

View Quote This time travel crap, just fries your brain like a egg.

View Quote I guess everything comes back around. Like your goddamn ties.

View Quote I'm from the future, you should go to China.

View Quote John Sculley: [to Steve] Don't play stupid; you can't pull it off.

View Quote John Sculley: When are you gonna get furniture?
Steve Jobs: It's not an easy process.
John Sculley: It is. You buy a couch, take it from there.

View Quote John Sculley: I can't put it more simply than this: we need to put our resources into updating the Apple II.
Steve Jobs: By taking resources from the Mac!
John Sculley: It's failing. That's a fact.
Steve Jobs: It's overpriced.
John Sculley: There's no evidence that it's--
Steve Jobs: I'm the evidence! I'm the world's leading expert in the Mac, John, what's your resume?!
John Sculley: You're issuing contradictory instructions, you're insubordinate, you make people miserable, our top engineers are fleeing to Sun, Dell, HP, Wall Street doesn't know who's driving the bus, we've lost hundreds of millions in value, and I'm the CEO of Apple, Steve, that's my resume.
Steve Jobs: But before that, you sold carbonated sugar water, right? I sat in a **** garage with Wozniak and invented the future, because artists lead and hacks ask for show of hands!

View Quote Every time something goes wrong, the world forgets why we fly.

View Quote Teddy Sanders: I just had to explain to the President of the United States what a bureaucratic felcher is.
Mitch Henderson: I made the mistake of typing it into Google. Don't.

View Quote Annie Montrose: What the hell is "Project Elrond?"
Vincent Kapoor: I had to make something up.
Annie Montrose: But "Elrond?"
Mitch Henderson: Because it's a secret meeting.
Annie Montrose: How do you know that; why does Elrond mean secret meeting?
Bruce Ng: The Council of Elrond. It's the... it's... it's... from The Lord of the Rings. It's the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.
Teddy Sanders: If we are going to call something Project Elrond, I would like my code name to be Glorfindel.
Annie Montrose: Okay, I hate every one of you.

View Quote Travis: Here's where you made your critical mistake: you listened to anything Howie and Joe Joe said. Nice boys, but they're a couple pliers short of a tool chest.

View Quote Mary Jo: Do you want to hear about the time Jesus saved us from a tornado?
Travis: Oh, it's a great story.
Bob: You know, I'd love to, but I was in the little boys room taking care of business when Carl interrupted me, but Jamie'd love to hear it. [walks away]
Mary Jo: Ah. Well, it seems just like yesterday.

View Quote Bob: [after he slides onto the front window of Gornickes' bus] JAMIE!!!
[Jamie, Mary Jo and Travis scream in shock, as Travis brakes hard, causing Bob to hit himself on the front window]
Travis: [astonished] Bob?!
[Bob slides off the window and falls to the ground, while Jamie furiously storms out of the bus and shoves Bob as she walks up to him]
Jamie: Are you an idiot?! Do you want to see your father bouncing down the highway?!
Bob: What are you doing with the Partridge Family?
Jamie: WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON TOP OF THE BUS?!?
Bob: Because I was chasing you! You win! I blew off my job because I can't live without you. You happy?
Jamie: I never asked you to blow off your job! I wanted you to be honest with me!
Bob: [confused] Honest? Like, "Todd's gonna fire me if I go to Boulder" honest? "Screw Hawaii" honest?
Jamie: [tearfully, yet confused] Oh, I see. You think that if you told me you were in trouble and your job was in jeopardy, that I'd give you a hard time about it?
Bob: No crying, that's cheating.
Jamie: [in a normally worried tone] Do you think I'm some horrible witch that doesn't care? I do care! I care a lot! [shoves Bob] In fact, I hate you, jerk.
Bob: [sadly] I didn't want you to know I was in trouble. You and Cassie and Carl, you mean everything to me. [as Cassie and Carl are watching from the bus windows] What you think about me is the most important thing in the world. I didn't want to fail.
Jamie: [apologizing] If you don't know how I feel about you after 19 years of marriage...then I must be a failure as a wife.
Bob: Then you admit you're the problem.
Jamie: [smiles as she cares] Bob. [she hugs Bob] You mean more to me than just a paycheck.
Bob: [satisfied] That's good, because we won't be getting one for a while. I missed that meeting.
Travis: [as he and Mary Jo are watching from the bus door] No, you didn't. Come on, Bob. Come here. [he shows Bob and Jamie exactly where they have arrived]
Bob: [amazed] It's a Christmas miracle!
Travis: No, it just sounded like this was where your wife needed to be...so I brought her.
Mary Jo: Travis has never been one to mind his own business.
Bob: Travis...some of my behavior on this trip might be misconstrued as an insult. Did come off a tad abrasive.
Bob: [owning up] I was wrong, and it takes a small man to admit it.
Travis: And you're a big man.
Bob: I don't just mean...
Travis: I understand a metaphor, Bob. See, I went to Stanford.
Bob: [hugs Travis in excitement] YOU BIG LUG, I LOVE YOU! [Jamie and Mary Jo laugh] Who loves his big lug?!

View Quote Where am I going to see colors like that? Must be awfully lucky to see colors like that. I bet they don't even know how lucky they are.