James Franco movie quotes

View Quote "(on phone with Red) Now listen, I'm gonna come by. I gotta lay some shit on you. There is a fly in the ointment. Shit has hit the fan. The lion will speak."

View Quote [referencing Pineapple Express] My friend, this is like if that Blue Oyster shit met that Afghan Kush i had, and they had a baby... And then meanwhile, that crazy Northern Lights stuff I had and the Super Red Espresso Snowflake met and had a baby... And by some miracle, those two babies met and ****; this would be the shit they birthed.

View Quote [Saul talking to Red on the phone] Well be careful, man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.

View Quote I don't want to be a good man... I want to be a great one.

View Quote How hard can it be to kill a Wicked Witch?

View Quote Oz? That's my name. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs. But everyone calls me Oz.

View Quote James Franco: Your mama's pussy was the canvas, your dad's dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You're the art, huh?
Jay Baruchel: Thanks, James Franco.
James Franco: You got it.

View Quote Jay Baruchel: Guys, listen listen. I think we need to address the elephant in the room.
Seth Rogen: Whoa, Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.
Craig Robinson: That's **** up. I'm right here man.
Jay Baruchel: I'm not calling Craig an elephant.
James Franco: That's racist.

View Quote James Franco: Who did this? Who did this?!
Seth Rogen: Did what, what are you talking about?
James Franco: [holds up his jizzed porn magazine] Jizzed all over the pages of this nice magazine I was nice enough to tell you about. Was it you, Seth?
Seth Rogen: No.
James Franco: No?
Danny McBride: [raises his hand] It was me, Franco. I ****in' made jizz in your magazine.
James Franco: Why?!
Danny McBride: When I ****in' jack off long enough, I end up jizzin', dude. I'm assuming, the same shit works for you?
James Franco: Real **** smart answer, why don't you **** aim, huh?!
Danny McBride: I have a particularly explosive ejaculating that just goes everywhere! It's like a ****in' wild fireman's hose, she's gonna grab on and pray to God it doesn't get into your eyes or your mouth!
James Franco: The **** kind of jerking off is that? What, you never had any brothers, you never learned to jizz in a **** sock or on a ****in' tissue?!
Danny McBride: No, I don't have any brothers, I was raised in a house of women!
James Franco: I highly doubt they ****in' taught you to ****in' close your eyes and ****in' **** wherever you want!
Danny McBride: I mean, you're getting all worked up over a ****in' porno mag! Who has goddamn porno mags anymore?! Welcome to the 21st century, Buck Rogers! You designed a house with **** iPads in the walls, yet you're jerkin' your dick like a goddamn pilgrim!
James Franco: That's right, man. I like to ****in' read!
Danny McBride: You think that's the only thing I jerk off in here? I've been dropping loads around this ****in' house like a goddamn dump truck.
James Franco: YOU DON'T **** ON MY STUFF!
Danny McBride: I'll **** wherever the **** I want, James. I'll ****in' **** in your kitchen, I'll **** on your ****in' art, I'LL **** ANYWHERE I WANT!
James Franco: I will ****in' **** right on you! I will **** like a ****in' madman all over you, McBride!
Danny McBride: Ooh! I ****in' wish you'd **** on me right now, I ****in' DARE YOU TO **** ON ME!
[Both men exchange masturbation gestures at each other]
Danny McBride: [Grabbing a baseball bat between his legs] I'm gonna jack my dick so ****in' hard in here!
James Franco: This, no more, man, all over your ****in' face!
Danny McBride: All over the ****in' floor, all over the ****in' place, I'll ****in' **** anywhere I want, I'll ****in' **** on these walls, I'll **** on the ****in' cabinets, on the ****in' furniture, I'LL **** EVERYWHERE!
James Franco: [points his revolver] If I see your dick one more time, I'm gonna **** shoot it off!
Danny McBride: You don't have enough bullets, bitch!
James Franco: [waving his revolver] No ****in' jerking off in my house, McBride!
[Danny throws the baseball bat to the ground]
Seth Rogen: Come on, man.
Danny McBride: **** this. It's just I'm too thirsty to do this, and the ****in' bitter irony is I'm not gonna have my thirst quenched until I finish this. I give up.
[walks out of the living room and leaves Seth behind]
Seth Rogen: Danny, no. Don't walk away. Danny, don't walk away from me!
Danny McBride: It's too late, Seth. I've already walked away too much.
Seth Rogen: No, you haven't. You could still come back and just ****in' turn around and come back and help me. Danny? Daniel?
[Danny is nowhere to be seen]

View Quote Wizard: Not so fast. First, you must answer a riddle. What journey be long and twisted and sensitive at hand. To what end must man go to discover the depths of his ecstasy? Think hard strong warriors.
Fabious: ****, I know this. I've got it! You want us to twist what is long with our sensitive hands.
Thadeous: He wants us to jerk him off.

View Quote Wizard: Come, come. Give me kisses.
[Fabious kisses the wizard]
Fabious: [to Thadeous] Kiss him.
Thadeous: ****, no.
Wizard: Pretty please?
Fabious: Kiss him on the mouth. Part of the quest. I do it every time I come.

View Quote Fabious: Without that sword, how do we defeat Leeza?
Thadeous: Maybe we can find some other way, with nets or something?
Fabious: Nets?! Oh, that's a great plan. And meanwhile, Belladonna is going to get raped and die.
Thadeous: We don't know for sure if she'll die.

View Quote This next part may not be for all viewers at home. It's a little after eight. At precisely eight o'clock I took my last sip of clean water... and... hide your eyes, Mom...

View Quote God, it's Aron again. I still need some help. It's getting bad here. I'm out of water and food. Listen. Give me the strength not to do anything against myself. I want to see this through, whatever.

View Quote What you're looking at there is my arm, going into the rock... and there it is, stuck. It's been without circulation for 24 hours. It's pretty well gone. If the color doesn't come across on the video, it's grey and blue. Unnhhhhh.......I can't take it in my ass anymore.

View Quote Harry Osborn: Tell it to my father, raise him from the dead.
Peter Parker: I'm your friend, Harry. I care about your father.

View Quote [He activates a pumpkin grenade from Harry's glider to finish the symbiote]
Eddie Brock: Peter! What are you doing?! [Peter hurls a pumpkin grenade at a symbiote] NO! [Eddie jumps in to save symbiote]
Peter Parker: Eddie! [Runs to stop Eddie, but a pumpkin grenade explodes, killing Eddie and finally symbiote]
[Sandman was too late to aid Venom after Spider-Man kills him]
Mary Jane: Harry.
Harry: Mary Jane.
Mary Jane: I'm gonna get help.
Harry: No. Stay.
Sandman: [To Peter, after discovering he's Spider-Man] I didn't want this. But I had no choice.
Peter Parker: [hostilely] We always have a choice. You had a choice when you killed my uncle.
Sandman: My daughter was dying. I needed money. I was scared. I told your uncle all I wanted was the car. And he said to me, "Why don't you just put down the gun and go home?" I realize now he was just trying to help me. Then I saw my partner running over with the cash, and the gun was in my hand. Did a terrible thing to you. I spent a lot of nights wishing I could take it back. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just want you to understand.
Peter Parker: I've done terrible things too.
Sandman: [looking down at the police cars and people cheering below] I didn't choose to be this. [looks at his locket] The only thing left in me now... is my daughter.
Peter Parker: I forgive you.
[Touched, Sandman turns into sand and peacefully flies away through the city; Peter approaches MJ and injured Harry.]
Peter Parker: Hi, pal. How you doing?
Harry: Been better.
Peter Parker: We'll get you through this.
Harry: No.
Peter Parker: I should never have hurt you. Said those things.
Harry: None of that matters, Peter. You're my friend.
Peter Parker: Best friend. [Harry then succumbs]
Editor's Cut[edit] [Alternate cut of Harry's Mansion scene.]
Harry: What took you so long?
[Turns to find Peter lounging on the sofa]
Peter: That was quite a performance today.
Harry: [Chuckles] Well, it wasn't all a show. She did come to me.
Peter: [Rises from the sofa] Oh, yeah, I got the story. I'm really gonna enjoy this.
Harry: Not as much as I enjoyed it when Mary Jane kissed me.

View Quote Harry: [when corrupt Peter arrives at his mansion] Would you like a drink? Tsk, I'm sorry. What was I thinking? Bad for the public image, right, Mr. Key to the City?
Peter: What did you do to her?
Harry: I did what you failed to do. I was there for her. Mary Jane and I, we understand each other.
Peter: She doesn't know what you are.
Harry: Peter, she knows me very well. And when she kissed me, it was just like she used to kiss me. The taste... [sucks in, rolls fingertips over his lips] ...Strawberries.
[Peter punches him, the battle ensues.]
Harry: How ya like that, Spidey?
Peter: That all you got?
Peter: [after punching Harry through a window] Stings, doesn't it?
Harry: I protected you in high school, now I'm gonna kick your little ass.
Peter: [mockingly] Ooh!
Harry: [after getting hit in the face with his glider and accidentally getting thrown by Peter at a glass shelf full of pumpkin bombs] You gonna kill me like you killed my father?
Peter: I'm done trying to convince you.
Harry: You took him from me. He loved me.
Peter: No. He despised you. You were an embarrassment to him. [sees tears in Harry's eyes] Oh, look at little Goblin Jr. You gonna cry? [Peter knocks Harry unconscious on the wall shelf and walks away. Harry tries to throw a pumpkin bomb at Peter, but Peter throws it back at Harry's face, disfiguring it.]

View Quote My father's immune system continues to reject the 112 virus, rendering the gene therapy obsolete. His health is deteriorating, and the disease is progressing rapidly. I need a more aggressive virus strain, a faster delivery method, because at this rate...I can't lose them both. I won't lose them both.

View Quote (shouting) Caesar, stop!

View Quote Caroline Aranha: I know it has been hard for you, but you are trying to control things that were never meant to be controlled.
Will Rodman: The 112 works!
Caroline Aranha: Do you realize how you sound?
Will Rodman: All I'm saying is this is a good thing. Caesar's proof of that. So's my father.

View Quote Harry: What have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

View Quote Peter: I'm so sorry, Harry. I know what it's like to lose a father.
Harry: I didn't lose him. He was stolen from me. One day, Spider-Man will pay. I swear my father's grave, Spider-Man will pay. Thank God for you, Peter. You're the only family I have. [Harry and Peter hug each other, and Harry leaves]

View Quote Harry: [to driver in Rolls Royce] Uh, hey, could you drive us around the corner, please?
Norman: [sitting next to Harry] Why? The entrance is right there.
Harry: Dad, these are public school kids. I'm not showing up for a field trip in a Rolls.
Norman: What, so you want me to just trade in my car for a Jetta just because you flunked out of every private school I ever sent you to?
Harry: It wasn't for me.
Norman: Of course it was. Don't ever be ashamed of who you are.
Harry: I'm not ashamed of who I am. It's just...
Norman: Just what, Harry?
Harry: Forget it.