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Your Highness

Your Highness quotes

34 total quotes

Leezar
Thadeous


View Quote Belladonna: Look at yourself. Why would anyone ever want to be with you?
Leeza: Hm, I'm not sure really. Oh yeah, perhaps because I'm rich, I live in a castle and I can do magic.
View Quote Courtney: If I may be so bold Your Highness, what is the meaning of that ribbon that you hold?
Fabious: This? It's a gift from Belladonna, a symbol of her virgin purity. I hold it and savor it.
Thadeous: You do that instead of having sex with her?
Fabious: Belladonna isn't like any maiden in the Kingdom. She behaves without judgement, defies expectation. When I first heard her voice a tear came to my eye and that tear turned to ice and I kept that frozen tear far from my heart that burns with passion. If she had a wound, I would kiss it. If she had a splinter, I would pull it from her flesh with my lips.
Thadeous: Just say, we are too late and Leezar has had his way with her, would you still be able to be with her?
Fabious: I don't want to think about that.
Thadeous: But just say that we were moments late and he was able to...get her cookies.
Fabious: Shut up.
Thadeous: Yes, I know. But what if he butt ****ed her? Would you still like her?
Fabious: Do I have to write you a poem? There has never been a love so true as ours.
Thadeous: That's pure love.
Fabious: Yes, it is.
Thadeous: No, that's pure love. There's a naked woman standing behind you.
View Quote Courtney: It's my birthday today, y'know.
Thadeous: **** that.
View Quote Fabious: [catches Thadeous watching Isabel as she gets undressed to go for a swim in the pond] What you doing, brother?
Thadeous: What right do you have scaring a man like that?!
Fabious: What right have you to spy on a bathing woman from these shrubs?
Thadeous: I'm simply keeping an eye on her. She is not like one of our dimwitted chamber maids that let me take them from behind. This one has me vexed. What exactly would it take for one to tame such an adventurous slut?
Fabious: Well, I imagine she'd want a man to be honorable, bold, brave. Know his way round a blade. [Isabel looks over her shoulder straight towards Fabious and Thadeous]
Thadeous: Oh, God! She's looking at us! Remain perfectly still. [Fabious and Thadeous freeze in their positions. Isabel ignores them, dives into the water and swims]
View Quote Fabious: Excuse my brother, he's not familiar with the customs of the road.
Thadeous: Do not touch me. Why are you making me look bad?
View Quote Fabious: I want you to be gay with me and Father.
Thadeous: I don't want to be gay with you two. I'd rather just stay in here with my blade and **** things up.
View Quote Fabious: I've been bitten, I can't move my leg. You've got to suck out the venom.
Thadeous: I don't want to suck it. You suck it.
Fabious: I can't suck my own venom.
Thadeous: Yes you can. I'll help you. Suck it, suck your venom.
Fabious: I can't reach it with my mouth.
Thadeous: Courtney, suck the venom.
Courtney: I've never sucked veno-
Thadeous: [pushes Courtney's head down] SUCK IT!
Thadeous: It's coming, it's coming.
Thadeous: Courtney, spit the load.
View Quote Fabious: Without that sword, how do we defeat Leeza?
Thadeous: Maybe we can find some other way, with nets or something?
Fabious: Nets?! Oh, that's a great plan. And meanwhile, Belladonna is going to get raped and die.
Thadeous: We don't know for sure if she'll die.
View Quote Fabious: You're going to be so handsome. Who is going to be the most handsome best man?
Thadeous: Probably me.
Fabious: Who's the prince with the most dashing moustache?
Thadeous: Me.
Fabious: Who gives the warmest hugs?
Thadeous: Me, of course.
Fabious: I love you, Thadeous.
Thadeous: That's cool.
View Quote Isabel: On a night just like this I returned home from a hunt, to find a bloodbath. Nothing remained of my six beloved brothers except for their severed heads on stakes. Their eyes had been plucked, their teeth taken as tokens. I wear this bracelet, forged at the steel of their shields as a constant reminder of my vow to avenge them.
Thadeous: My only advice would be just to keep your head up, hang in there, live every day to the fullest, have sex as much as you can by campfire when you're all alone and your brother is out gathering wood. Just simple things like that.
View Quote King Tallious: Please go and bathe yourself.
Thadeous: Why must I bathe just because Fabious–
King Tallious: Because you smell like the underside of a sheep's scrotum.
View Quote King Tallious: It is finally time for you to become a man. You must journey with your brother to rescue his bride.
Thadeous: Father, you can't be serious. If you want me to go on a quest, then let's start with something easy. Like, boiling a chicken or beating off in front of a Pegasus. Elementary things.
View Quote Leeza: Can I have everyone's attention, I'd like to say a few words if I may. I have prepared this feast in honour and appreciation of Belladonna. It seems like it was only yesterday that we used sorcery to burn your village to the ground, come in and snatch you. And I remember looking at you all those years ago and thinking, wow that's a baby and that's the baby that someday I will have to have sex with. Now look at me, a 19 year old boy, almost a man, still a virgin.
Mother: To the ****ening!
View Quote Leeza: What are you laughing at?
Belladonna: I was just thinking about your penis and how unusual it must look.
Leeza: It doesn't look unusual.
Belladonna: How do you know it's going to work?
Leeza: Because I've tested it. And if your vagina is anything like my hand, there will be no problem.
View Quote Thadeous: I shouldn't even be here! I will probably die on this quest, Courtney definitely will!
Fabious: **** Courtney. And **** you. Maybe they're right, everything they say about you.
Thadeous: They only say that stuff because of you, because you go out and have to pretend to be the best, and they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot. Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick, no one wants to suck mine!