Donnie Azoff [peeing on his subpoena]
**** you, U.S.A. **** you, U.S.A. **** you! **** you!
2nd most-quoted character in The Wolf of Wall Street (2013): in 8 of its 37 quotes
Most scenes with: Jordan Belfort (4)
Oh my God, the emperor of ****sville came down from ****sville to give me a pass! Hey, what are the citizens of ****sville doing today when their emperor's gone? Is it, is it mayhem? Are people looting and raping? What are all the little ****heads doing while you're here?
More lines from Donnie Azoff
1 quote Donnie Azoff Scenes with Donnie Azoff
6 scenes Donnie How much money you make?
$70,000 last month.
Donnie Get the **** outta here!
Well technically, $72,000 last month.
Donnie You show me a pay stub for $72,000, I quit my job right now and work for you.
Donnie [later, on the phone]
Hey Paulie, what's up? No, everything's fine. Hey listen, I quit!
Donnie I got a couple of mil' comin' in like a week. And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up.
Brad You'll give me a call?
Donnie When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up.
Chantalle Well, we don't ****in' work for you, man!
Donnie Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits. Okay? Technically, you do work for me.
I heard some stupid shit. I... I didn't even want to bring it up. It's just... stupid.
Donnie Shit with me?
People say shit... I don't even know. I don't even listen to it half the time.
Donnie What do they say?
Shit about you and your cousin or something like that. I don't even listen to it. It doesn't even...
Donnie No... it's not like that. It's not like that.
I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit.
Donnie Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think.
Is she like, a first cousin?
Donnie Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she **** grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to **** her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes **** my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else **** my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna **** my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.
You want a beer, pal?
Donnie What are you drinkin'?
I got this non-alcoholic shit...
Donnie What's that?
It's like a non-alcoholic beer. It's got no... no alcohol.
Donnie It's a beer?
Yeah, with no alcohol.
Donnie But, you drink enough and... you drink a lot and it'll get you **** up?
No, there's no alcohol. That's the ****in' point.
Donnie I'm not a scientist; I don't know what the **** you're talking about. I can get you beer if you want ****in' beer.
I know, but I don't drink, remember? I don't drink anymore?
Donnie What, you wanna go inside and blow some lines of baking powder, baking soda? Can't imagine ever not enjoying getting **** up. I love it.
Yeah...
Donnie How's being sober?
It ****in' sucks.
Donnie Boring, right?
So boring. I'm gonna kill myself.
[Jordan throws open a door to the bridge as the yacht is rolling heavily in a storm.]
WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON OUT HERE?!
Beecham THE JET SKIS JUST WENT OVERBOARD!
Jesus ****in' Christ! [Stumbles over to Naomi] Honey, you okay?
Beecham The waves are twenty feet high and building!
Turn around! Just go the other ****in' way!
Beecham Can't! We'll get broadsided and tip over!
I am a master diver, you hear that?! I am a master diver! No one's gonna **** die! I got you. Just trust me, okay? I love you. Just hold on tight. Donnie. Hold on, baby. Donnie. Donnie!
Donnie What?
Hold on, baby. [To Donnie] Get the ludes.
Donnie I don't wanna die, Jordan! I've done a lot of bad shit, I'm going to hell, Jordan! **** up! I **** up so bad!
Get the ludes downstairs.
Donnie What you say?!
Donnie I can't go down there! It's flooded, it's three feet of water down there!
I WILL NOT DIE SOBER! GET THOSE ****IN' LUDES!
Donnie Okay!
GO!
Donnie Okay!
Max Belfort
What kind of hooker takes credit cards?
Donnie A rich one!
