Seth quotes

View Quote Have you ever stared into his eyes? It's like the first time I heard the Beatles.

View Quote Shut the **** up, ****ell!

View Quote I want you to have a drink with me. Just drink some of this. You're gonna love it. It's green beer... for your information...

View Quote Do you have any other clothes or do you only shop at Baby Gap?

View Quote I had a general outline...I was gonna go down on her for like five hours. She'd love that. She'd be smitten by that.

View Quote No one's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since 'Nam.

View Quote Fine, Evan. Here it goes. When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem, and it's not even that big of a deal. Something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever. It's--for some reason, I would just kinda sit around all day...and draw pictures of dicks.

View Quote They literally made me stop eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hotdogs, no popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kind!

View Quote You look like a future pedophile in this picture, number one. Number two, it doesn't even have a first name. It just says "McLovin"!

View Quote You used my leg as a tampon!

View Quote You don't want girls to think you suck dick at ****ing pussy!

View Quote Yeah, well, while you guys are at Dartmouth, I'll be over at State where the girls are half as smart and thus twice as likely to fellace(sic) me.

View Quote By the time college rolls around, I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag!

View Quote So this one day I was finishing up this big, veiny, triumphant bastard...

View Quote [After parking in staff parking lot] Quit being such a vagi! **** it, I'm about to graduate. They should be suckin' on my ballsack. That's the least they can do for stealing 3 years of my life.

View Quote Boop.

View Quote You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!

View Quote I joined this class, because I thought I would be working with a partner, but she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work.

View Quote I know, but look at Evan, OK just look at him. I'm over here in my unit, I slave alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that!! Looks like the most fun, I've ever seen in my entire life; and it's bullshit. Sorry, excuse my language, I'm just saying that I wash and dry. I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know Home Ec is a joke, no offense, it's just like everyone joins this class to get an "A". It's bullshit and I'm sorry, and I'm not putting down your profession, but its just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here all by myself, cooking the shitty food, no offense, and I just think that I don't ever need to cook "Tiramasu." When am I gonna need to cook tiramasu? Am I gonna be a chef? No. There's two weeks left of school, just give me a ****ing break... Sorry for cursing.

View Quote Yeah but they don't really show dick going in, which is a huge concern... Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?.... Not for me...

View Quote You bitched out, ****ing Judas!

View Quote She looks like she could take a dick.

View Quote Do alcoholics get hangovers?

View Quote Watch your step, I fell earlier today. Well I was hit by a car, it's a long story.

View Quote Dude! That means that by some fate we were paired together and she thought of me. Thought of me enough to want me to be responsible for the entire funness of her party! She wants to **** me! She wants my dick in and around her mouth!

View Quote See the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my ****.

View Quote She looked at me in the eyes and said, "Seth, mama's makin' a pubie salad and I need some of Seth's Own Dressing."

View Quote These girls are 18 years old, they're not dried up old ladies, they're good to go!

View Quote [after getting period blood on his pants and seeing it on the girl's fiance] Hey, we're blood brothers!

View Quote Why the **** would it be between that and Muhammed?

View Quote She's DTF, she's Down To ****, man. P in Vagi.

View Quote I can't decide whether I want to subscribe to the Vag-tasic Voyage!

View Quote Seven dollars, what are you 6?