Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten [after Megamind breaks into his apartment room]
Is this a robbery? Because the lady across the hall has way better stuff than me!
Voiced by Jonah Hill 
Megamind (2010) · 63 quotes
Megamind (2010) · 63 quotes
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in Megamind (2010): in 24 of its 63 quotes
Most scenes with: Megamind (9), Roxanne "Roxie" Richie (6), Minion (3)
You're so naive, Roxy. You see the good in everyone, even when it's not there. You're living a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Queen of England. (I think...) This is the real world, and you need to wake up!
More lines from Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten
11 quotes Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten Being a hero is for losers! It's work, work, work, 24/7, and for what? I only took the gig to get the girl, and it turns out Roxanne doesn't want anything to do for me.
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten What were you saying? I'm sorry, I was too busy saving your life!
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten I'm the superhero, you're supposed to be with ME!
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten [about teaming up with Megamind]
I even drew up some new costume designs, see? [holds out pieces of paper] You'd be the brain so you'd get a little brain, wearing glasses on your costume or something, and since I'm the cool one, I'd have, like, two tanks swordfighting...
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten [beating up Megamind]
This is for stealing my girlfriend… this one's for Space-Dad making a fool out of me...! And Megamind… this one's for Space-Stepmom! You LIED TO HER!
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten You... should STOP comparing me to Metro Man!
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten Say goodbye, Mayor. [Tighten violently flicks the mayor, sending him flying backwards, much to everyone's shock]
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten Hey, Metro-losers. This is Metro Tower. They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength. But for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart. And I hate reminders!
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten [last lines]
I'm bad! I'm bad! That's right! Yeah!
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten What I was trying to say was I can't believe that in our modern society, they let like, actual art get onto the news!
Scenes with Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten
12 scenes
Roxanne Ritchi
Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City. It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honor a beautiful man - Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum. [gestures to Hal to stop filming]
Hal Wow. Okay, the stuff they make you read on-air, that's un-freaking-believable. It's crazy.
Roxanne "Roxie" Ritchi
I wrote that piece myself, Hal.
Hal What I was trying to say was… I can't believe that in our modern society, they let, like, actual art get onto the news.
Ritchi
Nice save, Hal.
Hal What are we? Like, let's just get a coffee or something.
Roxanne "Roxie" Ritchi
Come on, it's time to get in the Metro Man Day spirit.
Hal Well, if I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time. That's the first thing.
Roxanne
That’s sweet, Hal.
Hal And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby…
Roxie Ritchi
Mmm.
Hal Okay, that sounded a little weird.
Roxie
A little bit. Yeah.
Megamind [disguised as Jor-El]: Rise, my glorious creation. Rise, and come to papa.
Hal W-what's going on...?
Easy, my child.
Hal Who are you?
I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice, honor and nobility. I am your father.
Hal So, you're, like… my Space Dad?
Yeah. I'm, like, your Space Dad.
Hal [to Minion, who's dressed in lady clothes]
And you are... what?
I'm your Space Step-Mom. I… I've had some work done recently.
Hal Is this some kind of dream?
This is a dream come true. You've been blessed with unfathomable powers.
Hal What kind of power?
Unfathomable. It's, uh... w-without fathom.
Hal Whoa.
Hal [pulls out small costume]
Do I have a son?
No. You make me laugh. It stretches. It's for you.
Hal Hey, what's the "T" stand for?
Titan.
Hal "Tighten"? What's that supposed to mean?
It was the only name I could trademark.
Hal Oh.
Do you have someone special in your life, Hal?
Hal No, not yet. But there's this really, really good-looking one I've got my eye on currently.
That's very good. Romance is very inspiring.
Hal That's what I hear.
All you have to do is save her and she'll be yours.
Who wants churros?
I do!
Hal I do, yeah.
Churros all the way around.
Hal Thanks, Space Step-Mom.
On the count of 3, unsheathe your churro. 1, 2, 3!
All 3
To Titan!
Tomorrow, you will fight Megamind and the city will know your name!
Were you even planning to show up? [turns and notices all the items Titan has stolen] What's this? Where did you get all this stuff?
Titan [whispers]
It doesn't belong to me.
You stole it!?
Titan Pretty cool, right?
No, no, no, no! You're a hero!
Titan Being a hero is for losers. It's work, work, work, 24/7, and for what? I only took the gig to get the girl and it turns out Roxanne doesn't want anything to with me.
Roxanne Ritchi?
Titan Yeah, Roxanne Ritchi. I saw her having dinner and making googly eyes at some intellectual dweeb.
Oh…
Titan Who needs all that noise? That's why I think we... should team up.
You... Wait, what?
Titan With my power and your... big-headedness, we could rule the city!
You want to team up?!
Titan Yeah, I even drew up new costume designs. See?
Costume designs?
Titan You'd be the brains, so you get a little brain wearing glasses on your costume or something, and since I'm the cool one, I'd have, like, 2 tanks sword fighting–
[Megamind backs off in absolute disbelief]
I can't believe you. All your gifts, all your powers, and you... you squander them for your own personal gain!
Titan Yes!
No! I'm the villain, you're the good guy! I do something bad and you come and get me! That's why I created you!
Titan Yeah, right. You're nuts! Space Dad told me–
Look, I'm your Space Dad! [transforms into Hal's Space Dad in front of him] You should be more like Metro Man.
Titan Ah! You tricked me?
Oh, don't like that, huh? Well there's more! [transforms into Bernard as he slowly backs up into his giant robot battle suit] I'm also the "intellectual dweeb" dating Roxanne.
Titan No.
...And we were smooching up a storm! [makes kissing noises as he closes his giant robot battle suit]
Titan [enraged]
When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna–
Yes, yes. I know. "...Bring me to justice." Oh, God, how I miss this. [Titan attacks him] And the hero strikes the first blow, but evil returns with a backhand!
Mayor
We're saved! We're saved! What's your name, new hero?
Tighten It's Tighten.
Mayor
Thank you, thank you. Tighten has freed us!
Tighten Say goodbye, Mayor. [flicks the Mayor in the head, sending him flying back; everyone gasps]
Tighten [Megamind flips TV channels in prison] [on TV]
Megamind. [Megamind continues channel surfing until he changes back to Tighten on TV] You and I have unfinished business. I’ll be waiting at Metro Tower. Oh, and just so you don’t get cold feet… [reveals Roxanne captured]
Roxanne...
Tighten Come on, Roxie. Call for your "hero" to come rescue you.
Megamind… I don't even know if you're listening, but if you are… you can't give up! The Megamind I know would never run from a fight, even if he knew he had no chance of winning! It was your best quality. You need to be that guy right now! The city needs you! I need you…
Roxanne…
Tighten You have 1 hour. Don't keep me waiting.
Tighten [on TV]
Hey, Metro losers. This is Metro Tower! They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength… [shows Roxanne tied to the tower] …But for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart, and I hate reminders! [rips out a part of the tower's foundation, swaying it]
Hal, please don't do this. I know there's still good in you, Hal.
Hal/Tighten You're so naive, Roxie. You see the good in everybody, even when it's not there. You're Iiving a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Queen of England. This is the real world, and you need to wake up! [Suddenly, a giant hologram of Megamind's head appears in the sky]
You dare challenge Megamind?!
Tighten This town isn't big enough for two super-villains!
Oh, you're a villain, all right! Just not a super one!
Tighten Yeah, what's the difference? [Megamind's giant hologram head opens its mouth and from the inside appears Megamind]
[his giant hologram head opens its mouth and from the inside appears Megamind]
PRESENTATION!
Tighten This is the last time you make a fool out of me!
I made you a hero. You did the fool thing all by yourself.
Tighten You're so pathetic. No matter what side you're on, you're always the loser.
There's a benefit to losing. You get to learn from your mistakes. [enters his invisible car to hide with his diffusion gun, only to find the label saying "WARMING UP"] Oh, you've got to be KIDDING me! Minion, if I live, I will kill you.
[Tighten, after taking Roxanne on a flight around village against her will and almost dropping her into heavy traffic, places her on the top of a skyscraper.]
Are you crazy?!
Tighten I suppose I'm a little crazy... about you!
Who are you, really?
Tighten Oh, right! Well, prepared to have your mind blown, little lady... [takes off his mask] Ta-da!
Hal?!
Tighten Yeah! Isn't this great? Now there's nothing keeping us apart!
No, it's not great.
Tighten Wow! Our first fight. This so us! We're Like an old married couple.
Look, there is no "us", okay? There will never be an "us".
Tighten But... I have powers. I have a cape, I'm the good guy!
You are a good guy, Hal, but you don't understand. We need to find out why...
Tighten No... This isn't right!
Hal, just take a deep breath and listen to me for a moment!
Tighten You're supposed to be with ME!
I'm trying to warn you, Hal!
Tighten IT'S TIGHTEN! IT'S TIGHTEN, NOT HAL!!! [flies off, shattering dozens of windows in the process]
Hal [Megamind is flipping TV channels in prison out of boredom.] [on TV]
Megamind. [Megamind continues channel surfing until he changes back to Hal on TV] You thought I have unfinished business. I'll be waiting at Metro Tower. Oh, and just so you don't get cold feet… [reveals that Roxanne is captured and tied to an antenna]
Hal Come on, Roxie. Call for your "hero" to come rescue you.
Megamind… I don't even know if you're listening, but if you are… you can't give up! The Megamind I know would never run from a fight, even if he knew he had no chance of winning! It was your best quality. You need to be that guy right now! The city needs you! I need you.
Roxanne…
Hal You have one hour. [glares at the camera] Don't keep me waiting…
Warden! Warden! Listen to me, you have to Iet me go! Titan has to be stopped!
Sorry, Megamind, you still have 88 life sentences to go. Plenty of time to reflect on what you've done.
You want me to say it? I'll say it! Here it is, from the blackest part of my heart: I AM SORRY!
Not buying it.
[sighs]
I don't blame you. I've terrorized the city countless times. Created a hero who's turned out to be a villain. I lied to Roxanne, and my best friend Minion, I treated like dirt. Please don't make this city... Don't make Roxanne pay for my wrongdoings.
Minion, We must warn everyone and Roxanne! We have to stop Tighten once and for all!
We'll take Tighten together!
Wait. He searches for the perfect shuttle to create his power of armor. (gasps) The invisible car! Hey, remember that night that I dumped you?
You’re bringing this up now?
Roxanne: Well, I did look back!
You did? You did?!
Yes! And you should “look back” right now.
Tighten (Megamind runs to the car.)
This is the last time you make a FOOL OUT OF ME!!!! YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!!!!
I made you a hero, and you have done that yourself! You did the "fool" thing all by yourself!
Tighten TRY AND STOP ME! [punches to force lightning at Megamind towards the invisible car shuttle] You're no match for me, and my new empire! She's so pathetic! No one will stand in my way, Not Roxy, Not you! No one will stop me! What side you're on, you're always the fool!
You're wrong, Tighten. There's a benefit to losing. You should get to learn from your mistakes. [He enters his invisible car to hide with his diffusion gun, only to find the label saying "WARMING UP". He's ready to stop Tighten once and for all.] OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, TIGHTEN! Minion, If I live, I will kill you.
(As Megamind sacrifices himself, his voice over from before returns) [voice over]
So, this is how it ends. Normally I’d chalk this up to my last glorious failure.
(As he’s falling down, Megamind notices he’s falling towards a water fountain. He has a realization and takes out his dehydration gun, turning himself into a cube.)
Tighten [Roxanne is cornered by an intimidating Tighten.] [angered; about to kill Roxanne]
Say bye-bye, Roxy!
[The cube lands in the water in front of Tighten, rehydrating into Megamind with the de-fuser gun now fully powered.]
Ollo.
Tighten [Megamind sticks the gun into Tighten, extracting his super powers, turning him back into his old self.]
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
[Roxanne's life is safe by Megamind. Megamind rips Tighten down into the reactor shaft.]
Thing about bad guys, They always LOSE!!!!
