Man in crowd
I love you, Metro Man!
And I love you, random citizen!
Megamind
Will Ferrell · 31 quotes
Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten
Jonah Hill · 24 quotes
Roxanne "Roxie" Richie
24 quotes
Minion
David Cross · 13 quotes
Metro Man/Music Man
Brad Pitt · 11 quotes
Warden
J.K. Simmons · 5 quotes
Minion's Holo-Watch forms
2 quotes
Most scenes together: Megamind & Roxanne "Roxie" Richie (15), Megamind & Minion (12), Megamind & Hal Stewart/Titan/Tighten (9)
Megamind quotes
Page 1 of 5Metrocity, Minion. It's all mine. If my parents could see me now…
Sir, I'm sure they're smiling down from evil heaven.
Over here, old friend. In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap.
You can't trap justice. It's an idea, a belief!
Well, even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time!
Justice is a noncorrosive metal!
But metals can be melted by the heat of revange!
It's "revenge", and it's best served cold!
But it could be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil!
Well, I think your warranty is about to expire!
Maybe I've got an extended warranty!
Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for its intended purpose!
Should have known you'd try to crash the party.
[on a video screen; threatening Metro Man]
Oh, I intend to do more than crash it. This is a day you and Metrocity shall not soon forget.
It's pronounced METRO CITY!
Oh, potato-tomato, potato-tomato...
We all know how this ends: with YOU behind bars!
[sarcastically]
Oh, I'm shaking in my custom, baby seal leather boots! [serious again] You will leave Metrocity, or this will be the last you ever hear of... ROXANNE RITCHI! [presses a button to show a captive Roxanne on a separate screen] Huh?
Yeah, I'm not panicking.
We're at the abandoned observatory!
Ah-ha!
[lunges for the control and turns off the camera on Roxanne]
No, we're not! Don't listen to her! She's crazy!
What secrets? You're so predictable!
Predictable, predictable?! Oh, you call this predictable!? [pulls a lever that opens up an alligator pool beneath Roxanne]
Your alligators, yes. Mm-hmm. I was thinking about it on the way over...
Cliché!
No! Look! Watch! [brings down a gauntlet of blades]
Juvenile!
Shock and awe! [brings up a chainsaw]
Tricky!
OH, IT'S SO SCARY! [unleashes a cycle of spiked boots]
Seen it!
Garish! [Megamind breaks down] Okay, the spider's new.
Spider? [sees a spider hanging in front of Roxanne; Minion just shrugs] Uh... Yes! The... the sp-ider. Even the smallest bite from "Arachnus deathicus" will instantly paralyze– [Roxanne blows the spider into his eye.] AAHH!! [Minion punches him] GET IT OFF! OWW!! IT BIT ME!
Give it up, Megamind. Your plans never work!
Mayor
We're saved! We're saved! What's your name, new hero?
It's Tighten.
Mayor
Thank you, thank you. Tighten has freed us!
Say goodbye, Mayor. [flicks the Mayor in the head, sending him flying back; everyone gasps]
Megamind [disguised as Jor-El]: Rise, my glorious creation. Rise, and come to papa.
W-what's going on...?
Easy, my child.
Who are you?
I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice, honor and nobility. I am your father.
So, you're, like… my Space Dad?
Yeah. I'm, like, your Space Dad.
I'm your Space Step-Mom. I… I've had some work done recently.
Is this some kind of dream?
This is a dream come true. You've been blessed with unfathomable powers.
What kind of power?
Unfathomable. It's, uh... w-without fathom.
Whoa.
No. You make me laugh. It stretches. It's for you.
Hey, what's the "T" stand for?
Titan.
"Tighten"? What's that supposed to mean?
It was the only name I could trademark.
Oh.
Do you have someone special in your life, Hal?
No, not yet. But there's this really, really good-looking one I've got my eye on currently.
That's very good. Romance is very inspiring.
That's what I hear.
All you have to do is save her and she'll be yours.
Who wants churros?
I do!
I do, yeah.
Churros all the way around.
Thanks, Space Step-Mom.
On the count of 3, unsheathe your churro. 1, 2, 3!
All 3
To Titan!
Tomorrow, you will fight Megamind and the city will know your name!
Warden! Warden! Listen to me! You have to Iet me go! Tighten has to be stopped!
Sorry, Megamind. You still have 88 Iife sentences to go. Plenty of time to reflect on what you've done.
You want me to say it? I'll say it! Here it is, from the blackest part of my heart: I AM SORRY!
Not buying it.
[sighs]
I don't blame you. I've terrorized the city countless times. Created a hero who's turned out to be a villain. I lied to Roxanne, and...my best friend Minion, I treated Iike dirt. Please don't make this city... don't make Roxanne pay for my wrongdoings.
Were you even planning to show up? [turns and notices all the items Titan has stolen] What's this? Where did you get all this stuff?
You stole it!?
Pretty cool, right?
No, no, no, no! You're a hero!
Being a hero is for losers. It's work, work, work, 24/7, and for what? I only took the gig to get the girl and it turns out Roxanne doesn't want anything to with me.
Roxanne Ritchi?
Yeah, Roxanne Ritchi. I saw her having dinner and making googly eyes at some intellectual dweeb.
Oh…
Who needs all that noise? That's why I think we... should team up.
You... Wait, what?
With my power and your... big-headedness, we could rule the city!
You want to team up?!
Yeah, I even drew up new costume designs. See?
Costume designs?
You'd be the brains, so you get a little brain wearing glasses on your costume or something, and since I'm the cool one, I'd have, like, 2 tanks sword fighting–
[Megamind backs off in absolute disbelief]
I can't believe you. All your gifts, all your powers, and you... you squander them for your own personal gain!
Yes!
No! I'm the villain, you're the good guy! I do something bad and you come and get me! That's why I created you!
Yeah, right. You're nuts! Space Dad told me–
Look, I'm your Space Dad! [transforms into Hal's Space Dad in front of him] You should be more like Metro Man.
Ah! You tricked me?
Oh, don't like that, huh? Well there's more! [transforms into Bernard as he slowly backs up into his giant robot battle suit] I'm also the "intellectual dweeb" dating Roxanne.
No.
...And we were smooching up a storm! [makes kissing noises as he closes his giant robot battle suit]
Yes, yes. I know. "...Bring me to justice." Oh, God, how I miss this. [Titan attacks him] And the hero strikes the first blow, but evil returns with a backhand!
What on earth is that?
It seems to be emanating from there, sir. [points to Megamind's pants]
It's "hello".
Oh. [speaking into the cell phone] Hello? [whispers to Minion] Like that? [Minion gives him a thumbs up]
Bernard, it's Roxanne.
I just want to thank you for inspiring me the other day.
Oh! You inspired me too.
Great. It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around.
Oh! Oh, really? [whispers to Minion] She's so cute!
I'm already hot on his trail.
Uh-huh, and what gives you that idea?
Uh, sir...?
I just found his secret hideout! [appears on the security TV screens]
[shouting]
How did she find my hideout?! [back onto the cell phone] Uh… how did you find his hideout?
This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof.
She’ll discover all our secrets! [shoves him in a cabinet] You dimwitted creation of SCIENCE!
What?
What? Oh, no. Not you, Roxanne. No, I was just yelling at my mother's... urn. Don't do anything, I'll be right there.
"Create a hero"? W-wait, what? Why would you do that?
So I have someone to fight! Minion, I'm a villain without a hero. A yin with no yang, a bullfighter with no bull to fight! In other words, I have no purpose. Go on, ask me how I'm going to do it. Go on, ask!
[laughs and throws the donuts in the air]
I'm going to give somehow, I don't know yet, Metro Man's powers.
Well you seem in a very good mood tonight, sir.
Ha? How long is this going to take, Minion?
Just a few alterations, sir, and I will be done with your most terrifying cape yet! I’m calling it the Black Mambaaaaa…!
Black Mamba. Perfect! Ooh, gosh, I am running late. I have to go.
What? Where are you going, sir? We have our debut battle with Titan tomorrow morning. We haven't even tested your big battle suit yet!
You attend to the details, Minion. I have to... run a quick errand.
What?
Oh, wait a minute! [sniffs Megamind suspiciously] Are you wearing "Jean Paul Gaultier's Pour Homme"?
It's just my natural musk. Now, where the car keys? Ah!
[grabs them]
Ah ah-ah-ah! This is about Ms. Ritchi, isn't it? You're going on a date with her!
What? [laughs] No, my main man! Get out of town!
Oh, this is bad… this is bad! You've fallen in love with her!
You are forgetting your place, Minion. Now give me the keys! [groans]
[stretches the arm in which his hand is holding the car key, scoffs]
What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?
She'll never find out! That's the point of "lying". [pushes a button on Minion’s robotic body which makes his stretched arm fall, grabs the keys] Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this was your first day of being evil.
No! [turns the car invisible] This has gone far enough! [drops the keys in his fishbowl head]
Oh, that was really grown up!
Sir, sir, please. It's for your own good.
Oh, what do you know?!
I may not know much, but I do know this - the bad guy doesn't get the girl!
Well, maybe I don't want to be the bad guy anymore!
[Minion screams in absolute shock at what Megamind has just said] [looks around sheepishly]
You heard me?!
Now, give me the keys!
No! [turns the car visible] My sole purpose in life is to look after you!
Well, I don't need you to look after me!
Let me make it clear. Code - I don't need you!
You know what, you know what?! [ejects the keys out his fishbowl head; they land on the car and Megamind picks them up] Code - I'll just pack my thing and go! [puts fish food in a lunchbox]
Code - fine!
Code - fine back! [gets on his scooter and begins to leave] Well, good luck on your date!
I will!
That doesn't even make any sense!
I know!
Roxanne Ritchi
Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City. It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honor a beautiful man - Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum. [gestures to Hal to stop filming]
Wow. Okay, the stuff they make you read on-air, that's un-freaking-believable. It's crazy.
Roxanne "Roxie" Ritchi
I wrote that piece myself, Hal.
What I was trying to say was… I can't believe that in our modern society, they let, like, actual art get onto the news.
Ritchi
Nice save, Hal.
What are we? Like, let's just get a coffee or something.
Roxanne "Roxie" Ritchi
Come on, it's time to get in the Metro Man Day spirit.
Well, if I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time. That's the first thing.
Roxanne
That’s sweet, Hal.
And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby…
Roxie Ritchi
Mmm.
Okay, that sounded a little weird.
Roxie
A little bit. Yeah.
[throws a trophy at Metro Man who becomes "Music Man"]
How could you do this?! [throws a microphone] The people of this city relied on you... [throws an amplifier at him] ...and you deserted them! [smashes guitar over his head] You left us in the hands of him! [to Megamind] No offense.
I'm sorry, I really am. Um, I'm... I'm done. You know, little buddy, there's a yin for every yang. If there's bad, good will rise up against it. It's taken me a long time to find my calling. Now, it's about time... you find yours.