[whispering]
Hey, it's me, Lucky. I just heard from the Brooklyn Cats. Bad news: the Stouts squealed.
I knew those mice were rats.
The kid's on his way home. What do we do?
No problem. He's gotta go through the park, right? Let's meet him there and have ourselves a little "picnic".
[starts to leave]
Oh, great. I'll bring herring.
Hey, hey, hey, moron! The mouse is the picnic!
BS The Brian Setzer Orchestra
[?] [singing]
Well if you can't rock me / I'm gonna rock this town myself / Well if you can't rock me / I'm gonna tear it up with somebody else / I may have to search all across the land / Just to find me a gig in a Rock n' Roll band / If you can't rock me / Well I'll find somebody who
[humming]
Oh. Every Little in the world can find the Little house. I'm a Little. I'm a Little. I'm a little lost. [gasps, gasps again] [panting, gasps, gulps]
[Smokey meets Stuart in Central Park]
How you doing? You must be Stuart.
Actually, I must be going. [gets into his car]
What's your hurry, Murray?
Yeah, where you going, Murray? Uh, Stuart. What's his name?
[Stuart speeds off]
Hey, come back here, you little rat!
Lucky, Red, get him, come on!
Don't go wrong way! He's going backwards. He's a hell of a driver.
Go, go, go, go! We got him!
I got him! I got him, Smokey. Yeah, I got him.
The only thing you guys got are big mouths, so shut up and run!
Yeah! We got him now! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
[while the alley cats are chasing Stuart in the roadster]
I hope he runs out of gas! I hope you do.
Why don't you run in the back?
I can't help it. I have a nervous stomach.
And I have an empty stomach! Now get that mouse!
[water splash]
Did you see that? Damn. Nobody could've survived that. Right, boss?
Yeah. The mouse is sleeping with the fishes.
Hey, the sewer rat's alive! After him!
No way. I'm a cat. I don't do water.
Oh, no. You wanna do water, hire a spaniel.
I don't believe this. What are you guys, a bunch of house cats?
Oh. [panting] Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, dear! Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear! [yells, grunting]
[arriving with the other cats]
Snow, what's he doing to your leg? I can't help but think this is wrong.
What the hell's going on here?
Err... look, Smokey, uh, call me fickle, but... I want to call this whole thing off, okay?
Come on, Smokey, can't we talk it over? See, Stuart's not so bad once you get to know him, and he's got his own car.
Careful, house cat. You're asking for it.
Snow, what are you doing? Come on, he's just a mouse.
He's not just a mouse! He's... he's... [looks at Stuart, then at the cats] he's family.
Oh, yeah! [laughing hysterically] I could see the resemblance! [he and the other cats laugh hysterically]
[angrily]
Is that what you think? You have to look alike to be family? [the cats abruptly stop laughing, surprised that Stuart would say that] You don't have to look alike. You don't even have to like each other. Look at Snowbell - he hates me, and still, he's trying to save me. Sure, you'll probably scratch him up pretty bad. You'd tear him to shreds. You may even kill him. [Snowbell gulps] But Snowbell will not run away, and that is what family is all about. Right? Snow? [looks up to him]
[chuckles nervously]
Maybe "family"'s too strong a word.
[unbuckles Snowbell's collar]
Hey, it's me you want! Come and get me!
Hey, over there. Hurry up. Over there.
Get him! He's getting away!
Where is he? Did he fall in the water?
I don't know. I saw something hit.
Man, did you see that? Gone. He just disappeared. Hey, there he is!
Up there! He's too far. I can't reach him.
In that case, you can all go home. Prowl safely.
Here you go, boys. Dinner's served.
All right, Smokey. Way to go!
Look. It's mouse on a stick. I love mouse on a stick.
A little further. Keep him coming. Keep him coming. I can almost reach him. Keep it coming. I got him. He's mine.
[The cats try to swipe at Stuart, but they miss, and the branch they're on starts to break]
Hey, what the...?! The branch is gonna... !
[They sees Snowbell leaning on the branch behind them]
Well, what have we got here?
Snow, don't come out here, the branch is breaking!
Stuart! Are you all right?
Just hang on. I'll take it from here.
[Snowbell pushes down on the branch more heavily, scaring the cats]
Hey! Come on, Snow. You wouldn't do this to me. Not your old buddy.
Don't worry, "buddy". I'm sure you'll land...
What are you doing? No! No, wait, stop! Wait, I gotta ask you something.
[He pushes the tree branch until it breaks off, and Monty, Lucky, Red and an unnamed gray cat scream and fall into the water]
Cold! Cold! Cold water, oh!
Dog paddle? I'd rather drown.
[They climb out and leave, bedraggled and humiliated]
And I had my fur just the way I like it.
Oh, man, I'll be licking myself for days. [shakes the water off of him and shivers]
How could he do this to me? After all we've meant to each other? [panting] I mean, I love that guy. And-- Oh, hey, you guys! Wait up for me!
[laughing]
Pack up the pineapple, Stuart. This luau's over.
Thanks, Snowbell. You were great.
Well, it must've been quite a show from up there.
[Suddenly, Smokey comes up behind Snowbell] [clears throat]
Snowbell?
[laughs]
Those cats think they're so tough.
I guess I showed them! Ha! Not bad for a house cat! [laughs]
Not bad for a dead house cat. [Snowbell whimpers fearfully. Stuart climbs to the tree. Snowbell turns to Smokey fearfully] Say good night, Tinker Bell.
[Snowbell gulps]
Hey, Smokey! [Smokey looks in Stuart's direction] His name...is Snowbell!
[Stuart releases grip of the tree branch he is holding onto; it flies up and strikes Smokey in the face, knocking him off his own branch and sending him falling into the river] [shivering]
Oh, this water's damn cold! [gets out of the water] I can't believe this! [shakes the water off of him] Beaten by a mouse and his pet cat. What could be worse?! [suddenly, barking dogs are heard in the distance and they chase Smokey, offscreen] Oh! Oh, nice doggies! No! NOOOOOOOO...!
Tsk tsk tsk. Little high, little low.
Little hey, little ho. [sighs] Let's go home.
Hey, Snow! One of the guys spotted Stuart in the park. Smokey sent me to get you.
Ah, gee, Monty, uh, I'm in for the night. It's late. Besides, Stuart is gone. Can't we just give the kid a break?
Of course we could give him a break. First we'll break his little arms, then his little legs, and then we'll take a break. First we gotta find him. Come on, we gotta run!
Why do we have to run? What is it, festival seating?
[Later, as the cats run through Central Park]
Come on! Come on! I think we're getting closer. I can smell him.
Sorry, Smokey, that was me.
Didn't your mothers warn you not to go into Central Park at night?
My mother was the reason you didn't go into Central Park at night.
Yeah, you tell them, Smokey.
Yeah, she was one tough broad.
[panting and falling behind]
Quick question! Who knows C.P.R? Oy!
There are mouse-prints going everywhere.
We'll split up and go in different directions.
That is why he is gatto d tutti I gatti.
[stopping]
You guys go ahead. I'll just collapse right here. [seeing Stuart] Stuart, is that you? What are you doing up there?
Look, Stuart, you gotta get outta here. This is Central Park. It's dark out. There are hungry cats all over the place.
Hey, Snow, where are you? Come out, come out, whatever you are.
Look. It's your pal, Monty. What's he doing here?
Why shouldn't he hear me?
Hello! Snowbell! Buddy! What're you doing up there?
Hey! You found him. Attaboy! Hey, everybody! Over here! Hey, guys! Snow found him!
Nice going, house cat. Just for that, when we carve up the mouse, you get the big half.
Big half? Snowbell, what's he talking about? Do--do you know those cats?
Well, not really. We went to a few parties, but...
What's the matter? What are you waiting for?
Come on, buddy, bring him down. I'm starving.
Snowbell, wait, no! Stop! Wait, no! No, put me down!
Hit me! I'm open! I'll break his fall with my mouth.
I guess you do know them.
Hey, let him go. I can almost taste him. What are you waiting for? Hey, where are you going?
He's hogging the mouse. He ain't sharing.
Snowbell, wait. Watch it, watch it. Where are you going?
Hey, hold that branch for me.
[Snowbell sits Stuart down on a branch]
Snowbell, you saved me?
Yeah, yeah. Look, let's get one thing straight: I'm doing this for the Littles, all right? They love you. George loves you. They're all miserable without you.
[surprised]
But, Snowbell, you said--
I know what I said, I... I lied, okay?! Welcome to Manhattan! I'm the one that hates you.
[smiles]
Oh, Snowbell. You do care. [hugs his front leg]
Ugh. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, that's enough.
I'm telling you, Snowy, this guy can fix anything.
But they're alley cats: mean, vicious and all hopped up on catnip.
Quit being a scaredy-cat. You wanna get rid of the mouse or not?
All right, then. Hey! Hey, Smokey! Smokey, it's me, Monty!
Well, my friend Snowbell here needs a favor.
Snowbell? [chuckles] Now there's a manly name.
Yeah, you see, sir, I've got this mouse at home I can't eat.
No. I can't eat him because he's, uh, a member of the family.
Hahah! Isn't that funny? [laughing]
Snowbell': [groaning]
That's not funny. That's sick! A cat can't have a rodent as a master. I mean, what's this world coming to? It's against the laws of nature! Word of this gets out, it'll be bad for cats all over.
So you think you can help me?
Did you hear that, Monty? Thank you, Mr. Smokey, sir. I'll never forget this. Really.
Don't worry, Tinkerbell. I'm all over it.
Ha, ha, ha! Tinker Bell! He called me Tinker Bell! You're a funny guy!
Yeah, whatever. Jeez! Housecats.
Are you sure he'll keep this hush-hush?
Are you kidding? Cat's got his tongue. Get it? Cat's got his tongue because he's a cat.
Oh, Frederick, look at them. How could we possibly...?
You know what's wonderful? What's wonderful is how you both know what the other one is gonna say, before you even say it. Not that it's any of my business.
Yes, that happens when you've been together as long as we have.
Family. Wow. Well, for a family, you've certainly come to the right place. I think we can find just what you're looking for. If you want a girl, Susan can read French. And Edith over there can tap dance while blowing bubbles. Or maybe you wanted a boy.
Actually, I think we were leaning towards a boy.
Well, in that case, Benny can do handstands. Andy can run 100 yards faster than you can say, Ready, set, go.
You certainly know a lot about everyone, don't you?
That's what happens when you've been here as long as I have. Let's face it. Not everyone wants to adopt someone like me. You shouldn't worry about choosing. It happens the same way every time. First, you won't know what to do. You'll be a bit scared. Then you'll meet one of them. You'll talk to him. Somehow, you just know.
Are you quite certain you're prepared to handle his uniqueness?
Oh, my, yes. Yes. His uniqueness is a perfect fit for the Little family.
Mr. and Mrs. Little, we try to discourage couples from adopting children outside their own... species. It rarely works out.
Well, it will in this case.
LL Lyle Lovett
[singing]
I have a dream that everywhere I go / Most everyone captures my eye / And they find me so fascinating / Indicating a quite a keen interest in / A very special guy
O Orphans
Bye, Stuart! Bye! We'll miss you!
LL Lyle Lovett
Oh, I'm so lonely
We haven't told you the best news of all. You have a brother. Named George.
A brother! What do I call him?
LL Lyle Lovett
[singing]
I'm feeling relatively blue / Oh, how I'd love a next to kin or two / There has to a place for me / Where I belong right now / Don't need a dynasty, a name to share, a heart to care / That's really all, and then I'd be walking tall / A name to share, a heart to care / And then I'd be walking tall
[singing]
When the moon hits your eye. / Like a big pizza pie. / That's amore!
[singing]
When the world seems to shine. / Like you had too much wine. / That's amore!
You'll have to tell me your favorite foods so I can fix them for you.
What for? You can't cook.
But I can learn. We're a family now. And there's a lot of adjustments we'll have to make. Right, Reggie?
Right, Camille. Well, here we are, Stuie, the family home.
Mind you, this is just our summer place. Winter time, we live in a crawl space above a delicatessen. You like corned beef, Stuie?
Prepared? It drops out of a fat guy's mouth, we grab it and run.
Sounds like an acquired taste.
Acquired taste? I love this kid!
Your new bedroom, Stuart.
We hope you like it. Well, good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. I'm serious about those bedbugs. Keep an eye open.
[?] [A few days later, Mrs. Keeper arrived at the Little's house.]
It's very kind of you to check on us like this.
Well, actually, I had something to tell you. But first, how are things going?
Worse than very difficult?
Just the word I was looking for.
Oh. Maybe this isn't a good time then. You see, I came over to give you some news.
Uh, they had an accident.
Oh, my goodness. Well, are they all right?
Well, apparently, they were grocery shopping, canned-food aisle. There was an unsteady pyramid of cans and it collapsed. Took three bag boys to dig them out. They had to identify them by their dental records.
Cream of mushroom soup. Two-for-one sale. That's a very heavy soup.
You mean no one's told him?
Well, six months after they don't come back from shopping, wasn't he gonna wonder where they went?
But they've been gone for years.
Years? How is that possible?
Because they died years ago. Which part is confusing you?
Stuart's parents came and took him away three days ago.
Three days ago? Stuart's parents died in a tragic cream-mushroom-soup incident years ago. I just told you.
Dear, we have to take this up with the police.
Snowbell Hmm?
[whistles]
Hey, taxi! What's a mouse have to do to get a cab in this city?
You'll speak to George for me, won't you? I'd hate to say goodbye to a basement door.
Taxi! Yo, taxi! Time to go, Stuart!
L Mrs. Little
We love you.
Ah, yeah. I love you too, Mom... Mrs. Little.
Boy, that looks heavy. You need some help with that? Camille?
Frederick, let's do something.
Let's just make them go away. We're bigger than they are. We'll say, "Go. Shoo". We'll scare their little whiskers off.
Eleanor, you're not being rational.
Rational, shmmational. Something about this is not right. I just know it.
Look at them. They just fit.
So what? I have shoes that fit and I hate them! As Stuart's mother...
No, George. Not the roadster, George. You love this car. I couldn't.
I wish you didn't have to go. I'm gonna miss you.
I'll miss you too, George.
Stuart, you come back here this minute.
Boat Race Announcer The players are jockeying for position.
Frederick, I don't like this one bit.
Stuart, your mother doesn't like this one bit.
Go, Stuart! Tighten the mainsail!
Anton Gee, George, you all done crying?
Yeah. You all done being a jerk?
Anton No.
Don't worry, George! I won't let you down!
Boat Race Announcer Away those boats are sailing...
Frederick, what if he falls?
Remember, he's quite a fine swimmer.
B Boy
Hey, that's cheating. You can't do that.
Anton Well, I just did.
Oh, dear. [gulp, screams]
Anton Hope that mouse can swim.
Boat Race Announcer Wasp is taking the lead.
[gasps]
That can't be good.
Anton [During the boat race, as Anton Gartman rams the Lillian B. Womrath into the Wasp]
Look what that stupid mouse did to my sail!
Anton You're right; he's a stupid rat.
[George angrily tackles Anton to try to remove his remote control, forcing his parents to step in, as Stuart climbs up the mast of the Wasp to untangle it from the Womrath]
Hey, hey, hey, come on. George!
Anton Get off!
[Mr. Little separates George from Anton, as Stuart reaches the top of the mast]
Stuart!
Anton Something's wrong. What's happening?
Race Spectator Who is that mouse anyway?
That's no mouse. That's my brother.
Hey, Snow? I know that you and I got off on the wrong paw. I just wanted to see if we could start out fresh. You know? Clean slate. What do you say? Wanna be friends?
He's playing with my head. He's trying to psych me out. Sick little rodent!
Hey, Snow, let me in! I'm starving! What's in the dish today?
Oh, no. Monty the Mouth. If he sees Stuart, it'll be all over the neighborhood.
Go away! There's no food here.
You know, I'm not picky, as long as it ain't meat loaf. That stuff gives me gas, something awful.
Oh, well, Beggars can't be choosers. Load me up and light a match.
Oh, no, no, Monty, stop. You don't wanna do that.
Why? I eat out of garbage cans, drink out of public toilets. Like a little gas is gonna bother me.
No, wait. Don't! Oh, great. What am I gonna tell him now? Monty, I can explain.
Explain that you should stuff your face.
Gee, Monty, I don't wanna rush you, but you really have to leave. The Littles are due back any minute, and you know they don't like strange cats in the house. Not that you're strange. Aaah!!!
Hey, Snow, what's wrong with you?
You know, you're the one acting strange. What is it? Worms? Fleas? Yeah, you look pale. Maybe you should see a vet.
A vet? What a swell idea. Do you know anybody? I'm not so happy with mine. He makes us wait, and his hands are always cold.
What was that-- What? Well, I hate to eat and run.
No, no, please. By all means, run. Run like the wind! [Monty farting] Phew, that was gross.
Hey, Snow, I almost forgot to thank you. Hey. What the...?
Say, they're really putting some wild prizes in there, huh, Monty?
Oh, hello. You must be a friend of Snowbell's. I'm Stuart.
Uh, aren't you gonna run?
I'm not just a mouse. I'm a member of this family.
[Snowbell groans] [confused]
A mouse with a pet cat? [after a pause, he rolls over and roars with uncontrollable laughter] A MOUSE WITH A PET CAT! [continues laughing]
I guess that is...pretty funny.
Pretty funny?! I'M GONNA WET MY FUR! A MOUSE WITH A PET CAT! [Stuart laughs along with him. He looks down at Snowbell] Your new little master! [laughs] Wait until the boys hear all about this!
[embarrassed]
Ohh, the humiliation... [to Stuart, angrily] I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
[After chasing Stuart around, Snowbell ends up in the garbage can]
All right, no more Mr. Nice Kitty! You!
[Stuart retreats into George's basement; Snowbell tries to claw his way in after him]
Get outta there! You can't go in there! That's George's room! Come back! Come on out. I'm not gonna hurt you. I, I... I just wanna show you something. Come on.
[At the golf course house, Reginald wakes Stuart up]
Stuart, wake up.
Uh, we're taking you for a ride.
Some friends of ours have gathered just to meet you.
A gathering? What should I wear?
It doesn't matter. Wear anything.
[Camille starts crying]
Why's Mom crying? Mom, I'm not angry at you for putting me up for adoption. [Camille still cries] And now that I'm a Stout again, I'll always be here to take care of you. Because that's what families do. Mom, they...they take care of each other.
[Camille breaks down further as she passes Reginald, who's holding her purse. She snatches the purse from her husband's hands, and smacks it against his side]
Ow!
[shouts, anguished]
TELL HIM THE TRUTH!
You made a deal with a cat?
He had us cornered at the bottom of a cup on the fifth hole.
So you agreed to pose as my parents?
You took me away from the Littles just when we were all so happy?
I think you missed something. Let me go over it again.
That's why I've been feeling so sad! That's why I keep thinking of them! I'm not a Stout, I'm a Little! I'm Stuart Little! I'M STUART... LITTLE!
Stuart, please! You have to listen to us! The cats have decided you're too risky to keep around anymore. They ordered us to hand you over to them! As your fake father, I order you to run!
Home? No, no. That's miles from here. And it's dark out, and every cat in the city is looking for you.
Besides, you could get lost.
No. No, I can't. Every Little in the world can find the Little house. :[Stuart drives away in his roadster.] Bye, fake father! Goodbye, fake mother!
