Mrs. Keeper quotes from Stuart Little (1999)

Mrs. Keeper

Three days ago? Stuart's parents died in a tragic cream-mushroom-soup incident years ago. I just told you.

Mrs. Keeper

Mr. and Mrs. Little, we try to discourage couples from adopting outside of their own... species. It rarely works out.

George

It's today! It's today! It's today! It's today! It's today! It's today! It's today!

It's always today, George.

George

I mean, this is the day.

That's right.

George

Can't I come?

You have to go to school, George.

George

Will he be here when I get home?

I think so.

George

I'll play ball with him. I'll wrestle with him. I'll teach him how to spit.

It's gonna be so much fun.

For all of us.

George

How will you know if you pick the right one?

Uh--

I don't know. We'll...

George

You'll just know.

Bye, sweetie.

George

Remember, I want a little brother, not a big brother.

Mrs. Keeper

We've been through your paperwork, and it seems to be in order. Adoption isn't for everyone, but you seem like people with plenty of love to share. So how are you feeling?

Goodness, we're...

Tingling...

...with anticipation.

Mrs. Keeper

Recess. Time for you to meet them. Feel free to walk around. They're used to having strangers.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mrs. Keeper

Ah, lovely people.

Nice move, Red.

Oh, Frederick, look at them. How could we possibly...?

Choose? I know.

They all seem so...

Wonderful.

Stuart

You know what's wonderful? What's wonderful is how you both know what the other one is gonna say, before you even say it. Not that it's any of my business.

Yes, that happens when you've been together as long as we have.

From being a family.

Stuart

Family. Wow. Well, for a family, you've certainly come to the right place. I think we can find just what you're looking for. If you want a girl, Susan can read French. And Edith over there can tap dance while blowing bubbles. Or maybe you wanted a boy.

Actually, I think we were leaning towards a boy.

Stuart

Well, in that case, Benny can do handstands. Andy can run 100 yards faster than you can say, Ready, set, go.

You certainly know a lot about everyone, don't you?

Stuart

That's what happens when you've been here as long as I have. Let's face it. Not everyone wants to adopt someone like me. You shouldn't worry about choosing. It happens the same way every time. First, you won't know what to do. You'll be a bit scared. Then you'll meet one of them. You'll talk to him. Somehow, you just know.

Mrs. Keeper

Are you quite certain you're prepared to handle his uniqueness?

Oh, my, yes. Yes. His uniqueness is a perfect fit for the Little family.

Perfect.

Mrs. Keeper

Mr. and Mrs. Little, we try to discourage couples from adopting children outside their own... species. It rarely works out.

Well, it will in this case.

I have a dream that everywhere I go / Most everyone captures my eye / And they find me so fascinating / Indicating a quite a keen interest in / A very special guy

Bye, Stuart! Bye! We'll miss you!

Oh, I'm so lonely

Stuart

So what do I call you?

Mom.

And Dad.

We haven't told you the best news of all. You have a brother. Named George.

Stuart

A brother! What do I call him?

George.

I'm feeling relatively blue / Oh, how I'd love a next to kin or two / There has to a place for me / Where I belong right now / Don't need a dynasty, a name to share, a heart to care / That's really all, and then I'd be walking tall / A name to share, a heart to care / And then I'd be walking tall

What, what? Where?

Stuart, did I hurt you? What's the matter?

Stuart

I just wanted to ask you something, but you were already asleep.

What did you wanna ask?

Stuart

About my real family. You know, the ones I look like.

He hates us.

We've never been hated before.

Stuart

No, no, no. It's not that. It's not that at all. It's just that... something's missing. I feel an empty space inside me and I want to know what was there before.

You have an empty space. That's so sad.

Stuart

Oh, dear. I hope I haven't left you dismayed and disappointed.

No, don't, no.

No, we don't feel dismayed and disappointed.

Not at all.

Stuart

Are you sure?

We're certain, Stuart. And if you want us to, we'll find out about your real parents.

Stuart

Well, good night, then.

Mrs. Keeper

It's out of the question and it's against the rules. Besides, It's very hard to track mouse families. They're not very good with paperwork.

But he has an empty space.

Mrs. Keeper

Are there problems with Stuart?

Problem? No, no, no, not at all.

Well, there's been a few...

Difficulties.

Difficulties.

Mrs. Keeper

Difficulties?

Well, like the cat trying to eat him when we first brought him home.

He spat the boy out, of course, in one heck of a jiffy.

Mrs. Keeper

Yeah.

Mrs. Keeper, he wants to know about his family. Any child would have questions about that.

Mrs. Keeper

Yes.

When the moon hits your eye. / Like a big pizza pie. / That's amore!

Sing with me, Stuie.

When the world seems to shine. / Like you had too much wine. / That's amore!

You'll have to tell me your favorite foods so I can fix them for you.

What for? You can't cook.

But I can learn. We're a family now. And there's a lot of adjustments we'll have to make. Right, Reggie?

Right, Camille. Well, here we are, Stuie, the family home.

The family home.

Mind you, this is just our summer place. Winter time, we live in a crawl space above a delicatessen. You like corned beef, Stuie?

Stuart

How's it prepared?

Prepared? It drops out of a fat guy's mouth, we grab it and run.

Stuart

Sounds like an acquired taste.

Acquired taste? I love this kid!

Your new bedroom, Stuart.

We hope you like it. Well, good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. I'm serious about those bedbugs. Keep an eye open.

It's very kind of you to check on us like this.

Mrs. Keeper

Well, actually, I had something to tell you. But first, how are things going?

Oh, it's been difficult.

Mrs. Keeper

Difficult?

No, very difficult.

Mrs. Keeper

Very difficult?

Worse.

Mrs. Keeper

Worse than very difficult?

Yes, It's been almost...

Unbearable.

Just the word I was looking for.

Mrs. Keeper

Oh. Maybe this isn't a good time then. You see, I came over to give you some news.

What type of news?

Mrs. Keeper

Uh, they had an accident.

Who?

Mrs. Keeper

Stuart's parents.

Oh, my goodness. Well, are they all right?

Mrs. Keeper

No. They didn't make it.

Oh, no. Oh, my....

What happened?

Mrs. Keeper

Well, apparently, they were grocery shopping, canned-food aisle. There was an unsteady pyramid of cans and it collapsed. Took three bag boys to dig them out. They had to identify them by their dental records.

Oh, how horrible!

Mrs. Keeper

Cream of mushroom soup. Two-for-one sale. That's a very heavy soup.

How is Stuart taking it?

Mrs. Keeper

Well, he doesn't know.

You mean no one's told him?

Mrs. Keeper

Does he have to know?

Well, six months after they don't come back from shopping, wasn't he gonna wonder where they went?

Mrs. Keeper

But they've been gone for years.

Years? How is that possible?

Mrs. Keeper

Because they died years ago. Which part is confusing you?

Stuart's parents came and took him away three days ago.

Mrs. Keeper

Three days ago? Stuart's parents died in a tragic cream-mushroom-soup incident years ago. I just told you.

Dear, we have to take this up with the police.
Snowbell Hmm?