Stuart That's why I've been feeling so sad. That's why I keep thinking of them! I'm not a Stout, I'm a Little! I'm Stuart Little! I'M STUART... LITTLE!!!!
Most-quoted character in Stuart Little (1999): in 31 of its 90 quotes
Most scenes with: Eleanor Little (13), Snowbell (13), Frederick Little (13)
Oh, dear.
More lines from Stuart
5 quotes Stuart Stuart Hello, everyone.
Stuart Now I know that fairy tales are real.
Stuart Boy. [the Littles chattering] That's a lot of Littles.
Stuart This is the happiest moment of my life. I feel 10 inches tall.
Scenes with Stuart
25 scenes Stuart Snow, where are you going?
Oh. I got to stare at traffic, yawn, lick myself. And believe me, that could take hours if you do it right. Ciao.
Aren't you going to run?
Stuart Why?
Because you're a mouse.
Stuart I'm not just a mouse. I'm a member of this family.
Stuart [rolls over and laughs out loud, repeating that line over again]
I guess that's pretty funny!
Pretty funny? I'm gonna wet my fur! A MOUSE WITH A PET CAT! [laughs hard more, and looks down at Snowbell, who is embarrassed] Your new little master? Wait until the boys hear all about this!
Stuart Oh, dear!
Come back here! [after a few chases, and ending up in the garbage can] Alright, no more Mr. Nice Kitty. You!
Stuart Aaah! [runs off into George's room]
Stuart Huh?
Get dress.
Stuart Why?
Uh, we’re taking you for a ride.
Stuart Where we’re going?
Some friends of ours have gathered just to meet you.
Stuart A gathering? What should I wear?
It doesn’t matter. Wear anything.
Stuart Is it formal?
Just put something on!
Stuart [Camille is crying about putting Stuart for an orphanage adoption]
Why's Mom crying? Mom? I'm not angry at you for putting me up for adoption.
Stuart [Camille still cries]
And now that I'm a Stout again, I'll always be here to take care of you. Because that's what families do. Mom, they, they take care of each other.
[Camille finishes crying as he passes Reginald, who's holding her purse. She snatches the purse from her husband's hands, then smacks it on his side.]
Ow!
Stuart Actually, I must be going. [gets into his car]
What's your hurry, Murray?
Yeah, where ya goin', Murray-- uh, Stuart? What's his name?
[Stuart speeds off]
Stuart [Snowbell sits Stuart down on a branch]
Snowbell, you saved me?
Yeah, yeah. Look, let's get one thing straight. I'm doing this for the Littles. They used to love you. George says he used to love you. They're all miserable without you.
Stuart But, Snowbell, you said--
I know what I said, I... I lied, okay? Welcome to Manhattan. I'm the one that hates you more than anything.
Stuart Oh, Snowbell. You do care! [hugs his front leg]
Ugh. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, that's enough.
[arriving with the other cats]
Snow, what's he doin' to your leg? I can't help to think this is wrong.
What the Hell's goin' on here?
Uh, look, Smokey, uh, call me fickled, but... I want to call this whole thing off, okay?
Too late.
Come on, Smokey, can't we talk it over? You know, Stuart's not so bad once you get to know him, and he's got his own car.
Careful, house cat. You're askin' for it.
Snow, what are you doin'? Come on, he's just a mouse.
Snowbelll
He's not just a mouse. He's-- He's-- He's family.
Oh, yeah! [laughing hysterically] I could see the resemblance! [he and the other cats laugh hysterically]
Stuart [angrily]
Is that what you think? You have to look alike to be family? [the cats abruptly stop laughing] You don't have to look alike. You don't even have to like each other. Look at Snowbell: He hates me, and still, he's tryin' to save me. And I hate him too. He decides to never speak to me again. Sure, you'll probably scratch him up pretty bad, you'd tear him to shreds; you may even kill him... [Snowbell gulps] ...but Snowbell will not run away, and that is what family is all about. Right...Snow?
Scratch 'em both!
Both?!
Stuart [Stuart rides Snowbell home]
You know, Snow, I don't know how to thank you.
How about not kicking me in the sides? I'm beginning to bruise.
Stuart Sorry. I was getting excited, I've never ridden a cat bareback before.
Well, don't get used to it.
Say good night...Tinkerbell.
Stuart [Snowbell gulps]
Hey, SMOKEY!!! His name is Snowbell! [Smacks him off the tree with a branch]
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Orphan
Nice move, Red.
Oh, Frederick, look at them. How could we possibly...?
Choose? I know.
They all seem so...
Wonderful.
Stuart You know what's wonderful? What's wonderful is how you both know what the other one is gonna say, before you even say it. Not that it's any of my business.
Yes, that happens when you've been together as long as we have.
From being a family.
Stuart Family. Wow. Well, for a family, you've certainly come to the right place. I think we can find just what you're looking for. If you want a girl, Susan can read French. And Edith over there can tap dance while blowing bubbles. Or maybe you wanted a boy.
Actually, I think we were leaning towards a boy.
Stuart Well, in that case, Benny can do handstands. Andy can run 100 yards faster than you can say, Ready, set, go.
You certainly know a lot about everyone, don't you?
Stuart That's what happens when you've been here as long as I have. Let's face it. Not everyone wants to adopt someone like me. You shouldn't worry about choosing. It happens the same way every time. First, you won't know what to do. You'll be a bit scared. Then you'll meet one of them. You'll talk to him. Somehow, you just know.
Are you quite certain you're prepared to handle his uniqueness?
Oh, my, yes. Yes. His uniqueness is a perfect fit for the Little family.
Perfect.
Mr. and Mrs. Little, we try to discourage couples from adopting children outside their own... species. It rarely works out.
Well, it will in this case.
Lyle Lovett
[singing]
I have a dream that everywhere I go / Most everyone captures my eye / And they find me so fascinating / Indicating a quite a keen interest in / A very special guy
Orphans
Bye, Stuart! Bye! We'll miss you!
Lyle Lovett
Oh, I'm so lonely
Stuart So what do I call you?
Mom.
And Dad.
We haven't told you the best news of all. You have a brother. Named George.
Stuart A brother! What do I call him?
George.
Lyle Lovett
[singing]
I'm feeling relatively blue / Oh, how I'd love a next to kin or two / There has to a place for me / Where I belong right now / Don't need a dynasty, a name to share, a heart to care / That's really all, and then I'd be walking tall / A name to share, a heart to care / And then I'd be walking tall
Well, Stuart, here we are, the family home.
They say every Little can find this house.
Even if they've never been here before.
It's just something inside them.
Stuart Something inside.
So would you like a tour?
Stuart I don't have any money.
That's Uncle Crenshaw, Cousin Edgar, Grandpa Spencer. That's Aunt Beatrice and that's George, your brother.
Stuart Look, he's already happy to see me.
[after introducing Stuart to the other Littles]
Well, that's just about everyone, except for-
[Snowbell pounces onto the cabinet and tries to eat Stuart, startling Mr. and Mrs. Little] [to Snowbell, angrily]
Snowbell! Drop him right now!
Stuart Wait! [Mr. Little picks up Snowbell, as Stuart checks his tail, which is in one piece, and sighs in relief] I'm fine.
Never, or out you'll go, Mr. Snow.
Stuart is one of the family now. We do not eat family members.
Mom, Dad, I'm home! Is he here? Is my brother here?
He certainly is.
Where is he?
He's here. Stuart, this is George. George, this is Stuart, your new brother.
No. Really?
Really, George. This is your new brother.
You look somewhat like a mouse.
Stuart Yeah, well, I am somewhat like a mouse.
I see. I have to go.
Stuart Is it just me, or did he seem a little disappointed?
Well, he's always a little tired after school.
Perks up around dinnertime. Meat loaf is delicious, dear.
Cajun. Shall we get to know each other a little? George? Don't you have anything you wanna ask Stuart?
Stuart Sure, George. Go ahead. I'm an open book. Ask me anything, the first thing that pops into your head.
Could you pass the gravy?
Your new bedroom.
We hope you like it.
Stuart Sure is roomy. Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad.
Good night, son.
Good night, sweetie.
Stuart [Snowbell approaches Stuart in his bed] [nervously]
Nice kitty. Nice kitty, pretty kitty.
Snowball
Are you cosy?
Stuart Yes... thanks, I'm quite comfortable--
Stuart You seem tense...
Tense? Oh, I'm... I'm way past tense!
Stuart Well, maybe I can help? [gets up and approaches him] What do you like? Can I... can I scratch your ears? I could rub your tummy.
How'd you like to rub it from the inside, mouse boy?
Stuart [taken aback]
Sorry, I-- I'm a little confused. I thought that's what you do with a pet.
[outraged]
A PET?! I am not your pet! I'm a cat, you're a mouse! You should be living in a hole! This is my family.
Stuart Can't we share 'em?
Read my furry pink lips: no! [heading for the window] I can't believe this. I'm arguing with lunch. And stay away from the windows. If the other cats find out about this, I'm ruined! [groans to himself as he jumps out and leaves] I gotta relax. Where's my tinkleball?
George? Time to get up.
Okay, Mom.
Stuart, you too.
Stuart Okay, Mom.
George, I'm trying to get the laundry started.
OK!
In the laundry chute, please!
OK!
Thank you.
Stuart Oh, dear. Mom! Hello! Mom! It's Stuart! I'm in the washing machine. Mom! Hello, Mom! Where are you going?
Hmm. That's odd.
What is?
I thought someone was at the door.
You look beautiful, dear.
Honey, should we talk to George before you go?
About what?
About Stuart. He hasn't exactly embraced the situation.
Stuart Snowbell! Thank goodness you're here. I'm locked in the washer! Can you help me? Can you turn this thing off?
Why would I turn it off? It's my favorite show.
Stuart That's funny. That's funny, Snowbell. Snowbell, you can't leave me!
Talk to the butt.
Stuart Where are you going?
I've gotta stare at traffic, yawn, lick myself. And believe me, that could take hours if you do it right. Ciao!
Are you sure that Stuart is happy here?
He's having the time of his life.
Stuart Help! Somebody, please help me!
Bye. Hi, Stuart.
Stuart Mom!
Stuart! Stuart, where are you? Oh, Stuart! Stuart!
Stuart [coughs]
Stuart, are you all right?
Stuart I'm okay, Mom. I'm... [coughs] Ahh!
Stuart [coughs]
[sighs]
Stuart [sneezes, sniffing]
Is he going to be alright?
Well, a lad that size swallowing all that detergent. Amazingly, I think he's going to be fine.
Oh.
Also, he's very clean. Yeah.
Glad you're feeling better, Stuart.
Stuart Me too.
We'll pick out a whole new wardrobe.
Here you go. Come on, George. This'll be fun.
I don't wanna go shopping with Stuart.
You should...
Talk to him. You're right. [to George] So, George, I wanted to talk to you about Stuart. I just want you to know that if you and he were to spend some real time together, you know, brother time...
Look at that one.
Come on, George. You have a boat, a beautiful one.
It's not finished.
You better get moving. The race is soon.
So?
Don't you wanna race your boat, George?
I'm not so good at the racing part.
So what? It doesn't matter about winning. You try like heck, and you have fun.
It's fun to finish last?
Something formal, I should think. I'm not sure of the fabric, but it should breathe. He has a tendency to burrow and climb and generally scurry about.
Salesman
Well, I'm sure we can find something to suit your particular need. Here we have Barbados Ben.
Stuart Ooh!
Salesman
Chef Ben.
Stuart Ahh.
Salesman
Lumberjack Ben.
Stuart Hmm.
Salesman
And, of course, Gladiator Ben.
Yes. Does Ben always dress like this?
Salesman
No, no, no, madam. There are many moods of Ben... and it all depends on the occasion.
Well, what if the occasion were a simple family party?
Salesman
I think I have just the thing.
There they are.
Woman
Let's pick another one.
George?
Hmm. Uh, shopping?
Stuart, everything all right in there?
Stuart Don't come in.
Shy.
Stuart How do I look?
Fantastic. I hardly recognize you.
Very smart.
You look just like a Little.
Stuart I do? Good. I was worried I was gonna look just like Ben.
Aunt Tina
Hello, we're here.
Oh, Crenshaw!
Aunt Beatrice
Hi, auntie.
Crenshaw!
Frederick!
Little high, Little low!
Littles
Little hey, Little ho!
Aunt Beatrice
We come bearing gifts for young Stuart.
Cousin Edgar
Yes, where is my new nephew?
The Little family's getting bigger and bigger.
Stuart Boy.
Littles
[chattering]
Stuart That's a lot of Littles.
Uncle Crenshaw!
Ah! Oh! Ah! [chuckles] There's my favorite little nephew.
Oh, you can't say that anymore, Crenshaw.
Aunt Tina
That's right. Now we have two favorite little nephews.
Cousin Edgar
That's right. Where is the lad?
He has a lot of gifts to open.
Are any of those for me?
Littles
[groaning]
Attention, everybody. We'd like to introduce you to someone.
This is Stuart.
Stuart Hello, everyone.
He's a, a...
Aunt Beatrice
...dorable!
Aunt Tina
Adorable!
Yeah, that's right. I couldn't think of the word.
Oh, Stuart, look!
Look at that! This is a real Schmelling.
Stuart Those are the best kind.
You know what they say: "If it ain't Schmelling"...
Littles
"It ain't bowling".
Look here, Stuart. Climb on up here, son. Plant your caboose right up here.
Aunt Beatrice
He may have to grow into it.
Aunt Tina
I think he's grown a little since we've been here.
Grandma Estelle
That's what happened to me. One summer, I just shot right up.
Stuart May I say something? In the orphanage, we used to tell fairy tales of finding our families and having a party like this. A party with cakes and presents and all varieties of meat loaf. A party with a big family who came from far away just to wish us well. I don't know much about families, but this must be the nicest family in the world. So I just wanted to thank each of you. Because now I know, fairy tales are real.
Fairy tales are real? Oy, I think I'm gonna cough up a furball.
And now, it's time for the best present of all. It's something for you and George.
George. Stand next to Stuart.
This is something that gave your father and me hours of enjoyment when we were young brothers just like you and Stuart. This ball belonged to your great-great-grandfather, Jedediah Little. [He gives an old brown baseball to George.] Remember, Frederick, those long summer days playing catch?
Yeah.
Cousin Edgar
George, why don't you take your brother outside and toss around the old horsehide?
Yeah, what do you say, George? You ready?
[thinking that everyone lost his mind]
Are you all nuts? Bicycles and bowling balls? How's he gonna toss a baseball? How's he gonna do any of those things? He's not my brother, he's a mouse.
Time to go.
Aunt Beatrice
Excellent idea.
[screams]
What, what? Where?
Stuart I just wanted to ask you something, but you were already asleep.
What did you wanna ask?
Stuart About my real family. You know, the ones I look like.
He hates us.
We've never been hated before.
Stuart No, no, no. It's not that. It's not that at all. It's just that... something's missing. I feel an empty space inside me and I want to know what was there before.
You have an empty space. That's so sad.
Stuart Oh, dear. I hope I haven't left you dismayed and disappointed.
No, don't, no.
No, we don't feel dismayed and disappointed.
Not at all.
Stuart Are you sure?
We're certain, Stuart. And if you want us to, we'll find out about your real parents.
Stuart Well, good night, then.
It's out of the question and it's against the rules. Besides, It's very hard to track mouse families. They're not very good with paperwork.
But he has an empty space.
Are there problems with Stuart?
Problem? No, no, no, not at all.
Well, there's been a few...
Difficulties.
Difficulties.
Difficulties?
Well, like the cat trying to eat him when we first brought him home.
He spat the boy out, of course, in one heck of a jiffy.
Yeah.
Mrs. Keeper, he wants to know about his family. Any child would have questions about that.
Yes.
Stuart Hey, Snow? I know that you and I got off on the wrong paw. I just wanted to see if we could start out fresh. You know? Clean slate. What do you say? Wanna be friends?
No.
Stuart Okay then.
He's playing with my head. He's trying to psych me out. Sick little rodent!
Hey, Snow, let me in! I'm starving! What's in the dish today?
Oh, no. Monty the Mouth. If he sees Stuart, it'll be all over the neighborhood.
Come on, let me in!
Go away! There's no food here.
Please?
Shoo!
You know, I'm not picky, as long as it ain't meat loaf. That stuff gives me gas, something awful.
Sorry, it's meat loaf.
Oh, well, Beggars can't be choosers. Load me up and light a match.
Oh, no, no, Monty, stop. You don't wanna do that.
Why? I eat out of garbage cans, drink out of public toilets. Like a little gas is gonna bother me.
No, wait. Don't! Oh, great. What am I gonna tell him now? Monty, I can explain.
Explain what?
Explain that you should stuff your face.
Oh, thanks.
Gee, Monty, I don't wanna rush you, but you really have to leave. The Littles are due back any minute, and you know they don't like strange cats in the house. Not that you're strange. Aaah!!!
Hey, Snow, what's wrong with you?
Nothing.
You know, you're the one acting strange. What is it? Worms? Fleas? Yeah, you look pale. Maybe you should see a vet.
A vet? What a swell idea. Do you know anybody? I'm not so happy with mine. He makes us wait, and his hands are always cold.
What was that?
What was that... what?
What was that-- What? Well, I hate to eat and run.
No, no, please. By all means, run. Run like the wind! [Monty farting] Phew, that was gross.
Hey, Snow, I almost forgot to thank you. Hey. What the...?
Oh, no.
Stuart Oh, my pants.
Say, they're really putting some wild prizes in there, huh, Monty?
Stuart Oh, hello. You must be a friend of Snowbell's. I'm Stuart.
Uh, aren't you gonna run?
Stuart Why?
Because you're a mouse.
Stuart I'm not just a mouse. I'm a member of this family.
[Snowbell groans] [confused]
A mouse with a pet cat? [after a pause, he rolls over and roars with uncontrollable laughter] A MOUSE WITH A PET CAT! [continues laughing]
Stuart I guess that is...pretty funny.
Pretty funny?! I'M GONNA WET MY FUR! A MOUSE WITH A PET CAT! [Stuart laughs along with him. He looks down at Snowbell] Your new little master! [laughs] Wait until the boys hear all about this!
Stuart [alarmed]
Oh, dear!
Come back here!
[After chasing Stuart around, Snowbell ends up in the garbage can]
All right, no more Mr. Nice Kitty! You!
[Stuart retreats into George's basement; Snowbell tries to claw his way in after him]
Get outta there! You can't go in there! That's George's room! Come back! Come on out. I'm not gonna hurt you. I, I... I just wanna show you something. Come on.
What are you doing here?
Stuart I just thought I'd drop in. Did you build these?
Me and my dad.
Stuart This is incredible. It's like being in a real live Western. [speaks with a Western accent.] Howdy, partner. Draw, you lily-livered, yellow-bellied son-of-a-one-eyed-prairie-dog.
[Stuart makes a classic 'finger gun' gesture with "pew-pew" effects]
I'm trying to concentrate.
Stuart Sorry. [notices a train.] Is that a train?
What's it look like, pickle head?
Stuart Could we play with it? Please, please, please, please, please? Help! Somebody help me! Help! Please! Somebody help me! Ta-da! Thank you very much. Thank you.
You're crazy. I have an idea. Hop in.
Stuart Wow, a roadster!
Go ahead, check it out. Stuart, what's wrong?
Stuart Nothing. It's just... It's the first time I've fit in since I got here. What's that?
Oh, that. That's the Wasp.
Stuart Wow. She is beautiful.
Yeah, but she's not finished.
Stuart When are you gonna finish it?
Well, me and my dad were building her, but I decided to stop.
Stuart How come?
I'm too little for a race like that.
Stuart Little? You're not little. Well, not to me.
Stuart, you've never seen one of these races. There's hundreds of people there. Everybody from school. I mean... what if you lost?
Stuart Well, at least you'll have been somewhere. Come on, George. What do you say? Let's get started.
You know... I'm not really sure I want a brother.
Stuart How about a friend?
I guess I can always use a friend.
George?
Yes, Dad?
Have you seen Stuart?
He's down here with me.
What are you doing to him?
He's helping me finish the Wasp.
That's wonderful, son. That's terrific.
Stuart Can't race her like this. Right, George?
Right.
When's the next race?
In two days.
Two days?
Stuart We'll be ready.
How about we all go together?
It's a wonderful idea.
That would be great.
Stuart All of us together. The whole family.
The whole family. [crying]
Stuart George!
Stuart!
Stuart [chuckling]
What are you doing?
Stuart Sailing. I hope.
Stuart, you come back here this minute.
Stuart I can't.
Why not?
Stuart I don't know how!
Boat Race Announcer
The players are jockeying for position.
Frederick, I don't like this one bit.
Stuart, your mother doesn't like this one bit.
Stuart I'm okay, Mom!
Go, Stuart! Tighten the mainsail!
Stuart What's a mainsail?
Oh!
Move! Come on, Stuart!
Anton
Gee, George, you all done crying?
Yeah. You all done being a jerk?
Anton
No.
Stuart Don't worry, George! I won't let you down!
Boat Race Announcer
Away those boats are sailing...
Frederick, what if he falls?
Remember, he's quite a fine swimmer.
Boy
Hey, that's cheating. You can't do that.
Anton
Well, I just did.
Stuart Oh, dear. [gulp, screams]
What is he doing?
I think he's hiking out.
Anton
Hope that mouse can swim.
Boat Race Announcer
Wasp is taking the lead.
Stuart, look out!
Stuart [gasps]
That can't be good.
Anton
[During the boat race, as Anton Gartman rams the Lillian B. Womrath into the Wasp]
Look what that stupid mouse did to my sail!
He's not a stupid mouse!
Anton
You're right; he's a stupid rat.
[George angrily tackles Anton to try to remove his remote control, forcing his parents to step in, as Stuart climbs up the mast of the Wasp to untangle it from the Womrath]
Hey, hey, hey, come on. George!
Anton
Get off!
Stuart [screams, gasps]
Anton
Something's wrong. What's happening?
Stuart [gasps, yells, grunting]
Yeah!
Stuart Yeah!
Crowd
[cheering]
Race Spectator
Who is that mouse anyway?
That's no mouse. That's my brother.
Stuart [chuckling]
Crowd
[cheering]
George and Stuart Little high, Little low!
Littles
Little hey, Little ho!
Frederick, look at them.
You know what? This calls for a picture.
What's wrong?
Well, It's just... you four look great together.
Stuart This is the happiest moment of my life. I feel 10 inches tall.
I'll get that.
Mr. Little.
Yes?
Down here. Very sorry to disturb you at your lovely abode.
I hope we're not intruding.
My name's Reginald Stout. This is my wife, Camille.
An extreme pleasure.
We're looking for Stuart.
Are you friends of his?
Well, not exactly.
Fellow yachtsmen?
Guess again.
Reggie, just tell them.
We're his parents.
Reggie, stop it! It's so good to see you again, Stuart. There's so much we have to catch up on.
Stuart Why didn't you want me?
Stuart, it shames me to say this, but you weren't born into a prosperous home.
That's right. We couldn't feed you, dear.
Couldn't feed him? How much could he eat?
George, please.
Letting you go was the toughest choice we ever made.
Stuart It was?
Yes. But now we can be a family again.
Absolutely. Are these salted?
Dear. The children.
Uh, yeah. George, Stuart, I think we need to talk to the Stouts alone.
Don't worry. Mom and Dad will take care of it.
Mr. and Mrs. Stout, I'm afraid there's been a mistake.
Right.
Stuart can't leave with you. He's...
One of the family.
Exactly.
You may feel like he's family, but he'll never really be family.
You may not realize it, but I'm sure he does.
There's something you'll never be able to give him, because you're human. No offence!
It's a place that you'll never be able to fill.
An empty space.
Stuart Mom... Dad, you want me to leave?
No.
Oh, dear, we just want what's best for you.
But Stuart lives here.
George, come on. This is hard for all of us.
This stinks!
Stuart I don't understand. I thought I was in a fairy tale.
Fairy tales are made-up stories, Stuart. This is real. This is about where you belong.
Please come home, Stuart. Your real home.
You're gonna love it, son. We live on a golf course! We look right over the ninth fairway!
It's beautiful.
Beautiful.
Stuart You'll speak to George for me, won't you? I'd hate to say goodbye to a basement door.
Mr. Little
Of course.
Taxi! Yo, taxi! Time to go, Stuart!
Stuart Well, goodbye.
Mrs. Little
We love you.
Stuart Ah, yeah. I love you too, Mom... Mrs. Little.
Boy, that looks heavy. You need some help with that? Camille?
Oh.
Frederick, let's do something.
What?
Let's just make them go away. We're bigger than they are. We'll say, "Go. Shoo". We'll scare their little whiskers off.
Eleanor, you're not being rational.
Rational, shmmational. Something about this is not right. I just know it.
Look at them. They just fit.
So what? I have shoes that fit and I hate them! As Stuart's mother...
But you're not. She is.
Stuart! Wait!
Stuart George?
I want you to have this.
Stuart No, George. Not the roadster, George. You love this car. I couldn't.
I want you to.
Stuart Thanks, George.
I wish you didn't have to go. I'm gonna miss you.
Stuart I'll miss you too, George.
[meows]
Sing with me, Stuie.
[singing]
When the world seems to shine. / Like you had too much wine. / That's amore!
You'll have to tell me your favorite foods so I can fix them for you.
What for? You can't cook.
But I can learn. We're a family now. And there's a lot of adjustments we'll have to make. Right, Reggie?
Right, Camille. Well, here we are, Stuie, the family home.
The family home.
Mind you, this is just our summer place. Winter time, we live in a crawl space above a delicatessen. You like corned beef, Stuie?
Stuart How's it prepared?
Prepared? It drops out of a fat guy's mouth, we grab it and run.
Stuart Sounds like an acquired taste.
Acquired taste? I love this kid!
Your new bedroom, Stuart.
We hope you like it. Well, good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. I'm serious about those bedbugs. Keep an eye open.
[?] [A few days later, Mrs. Keeper arrived at the Little's house.]
It's very kind of you to check on us like this.
Well, actually, I had something to tell you. But first, how are things going?
Oh, it's been difficult.
Difficult?
No, very difficult.
Very difficult?
Worse.
Worse than very difficult?
Yes, It's been almost...
Unbearable.
Just the word I was looking for.
Oh. Maybe this isn't a good time then. You see, I came over to give you some news.
What type of news?
Uh, they had an accident.
Who?
Stuart's parents.
Oh, my goodness. Well, are they all right?
No. They didn't make it.
Oh, no. Oh, my....
What happened?
Well, apparently, they were grocery shopping, canned-food aisle. There was an unsteady pyramid of cans and it collapsed. Took three bag boys to dig them out. They had to identify them by their dental records.
Oh, how horrible!
Cream of mushroom soup. Two-for-one sale. That's a very heavy soup.
How is Stuart taking it?
Well, he doesn't know.
You mean no one's told him?
Does he have to know?
Well, six months after they don't come back from shopping, wasn't he gonna wonder where they went?
But they've been gone for years.
Years? How is that possible?
Because they died years ago. Which part is confusing you?
Stuart's parents came and took him away three days ago.
Three days ago? Stuart's parents died in a tragic cream-mushroom-soup incident years ago. I just told you.
Dear, we have to take this up with the police.
Snowbell Hmm?
Stuart Huh?
Get dressed.
Stuart Why?
Uh, we're taking you for a ride.
Stuart Where are we going?
Some friends of ours have gathered just to meet you.
Stuart A gathering? What should I wear?
It doesn't matter. Wear anything.
Stuart Is it formal?
Just put something on!
Stuart [Camille starts crying]
Why's Mom crying? Mom, I'm not angry at you for putting me up for adoption. [Camille still cries] And now that I'm a Stout again, I'll always be here to take care of you. Because that's what families do. Mom, they...they take care of each other.
[Camille breaks down further as she passes Reginald, who's holding her purse. She snatches the purse from her husband's hands, and smacks it against his side]
Ow!
Stuart You made a deal with a cat?
He had us cornered at the bottom of a cup on the fifth hole.
It was curtains.
Stuart So you agreed to pose as my parents?
Yes.
Stuart You lied and cheated?
Yes!
Stuart You took me away from the Littles just when we were all so happy?
Yes!
Stuart That's wonderful!
I think you missed something. Let me go over it again.
Stuart That's why I've been feeling so sad! That's why I keep thinking of them! I'm not a Stout, I'm a Little! I'm Stuart Little! I'M STUART... LITTLE!
Stuart, please! You have to listen to us! The cats have decided you're too risky to keep around anymore. They ordered us to hand you over to them! As your fake father, I order you to run!
Stuart I'll go home.
Home? No, no. That's miles from here. And it's dark out, and every cat in the city is looking for you.
Besides, you could get lost.
Stuart No. No, I can't. Every Little in the world can find the Little house. :[Stuart drives away in his roadster.] Bye, fake father! Goodbye, fake mother!
Goodbye, fake son!
Goodbye, Stuart!
I'm gonna miss that boy.
I'm gonna miss that car.
Smokey! Hey, Smokey!
Keep it down!
[whispering]
Hey, it's me, Lucky. I just heard from the Brooklyn Cats. Bad news: the Stouts squealed.
I knew those mice were rats.
The kid's on his way home. What do we do?
No problem. He's gotta go through the park, right? Let's meet him there and have ourselves a little "picnic".
Hey, hey, hey, moron! The mouse is the picnic!
Oh.
The Brian Setzer Orchestra
[?] [singing]
Well if you can't rock me / I'm gonna rock this town myself / Well if you can't rock me / I'm gonna tear it up with somebody else / I may have to search all across the land / Just to find me a gig in a Rock n' Roll band / If you can't rock me / Well I'll find somebody who
Stuart [humming]
Oh. Every Little in the world can find the Little house. I'm a Little. I'm a Little. I'm a little lost. [gasps, gasps again] [panting, gasps, gulps]
Stuart Actually, I must be going. [gets into his car]
What's your hurry, Murray?
Yeah, where you going, Murray? Uh, Stuart. What's his name?
He's getting away!
Lucky, Red, get him, come on!
Don't go wrong way! He's going backwards. He's a hell of a driver.
Go, go, go, go! We got him!
I got him! I got him, Smokey. Yeah, I got him.
Stuart Whoa! [gasps]
The only thing you guys got are big mouths, so shut up and run!
Stuart [screaming, gasping]
Geronimo!
Banzai!
Yeah! We got him now! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Stuart Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Uhh!
Yah!
Ooh!
Ow!
I got him! I got him!
Get him, Red! Get him!
Stuart [moaning, screaming]
[while the alley cats are chasing Stuart in the roadster]
I hope he runs out of gas! I hope you do.
Why don't you run in the back?
I can't help it. I have a nervous stomach.
And I have an empty stomach! Now get that mouse!
Stuart Aah! Aah!
Yeah. The mouse is sleeping with the fishes.
Long, wet nap.
Hey, the sewer rat's alive! After him!
No way. I'm a cat. I don't do water.
All right, Red, you go.
Oh, no. You wanna do water, hire a spaniel.
I don't believe this. What are you guys, a bunch of house cats?
Stuart Oh. [panting] Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, dear! Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear! [yells, grunting]
Crenshaw, Tina, Uncle Stretch, you go uptown. Cover as many streets as you can. Edgar, Beatrice, Spencer, you take downtown. Every side street and back alley.
Grandpa Spencer
All right.
Estelle... you better go with him.
Where do I go?
You come with us. We're gonna circle the park.
Stuart [grunting, panting]
We'll be making a lot of stops.
Stuart I made it. I can't believe it. I'm home. Mom! Dad! I'm coming! Mom! Dad! George! It's me, Stuart! I'm back! Mom! Dad, George! Where is everybody?
There's nobody else here. It's just you and me, kid.
Stuart Where'd they go?
Movies, I think.
Stuart Movies?
Oh, yeah. Ever since you left, it's just movies, parties, roller-skating, amusement parks. They're having the time of their lives.
Stuart They are?
Oh, sure. I hate to have to tell ya this, but they're celebrating.
Stuart Celebrating what?
Can't you guess?
Stuart No.
They were just so happy to get rid of you.
Stuart That's a lie! I don't believe that.
Oh, boy. I wish I could spare you this. This is gonna break your little heart. Look up there.
Stuart At what?
See for yourself. They did that right after you left. Mrs. Little said, "Who wants to look at that face anymore?"
Stuart She did?
Yeah.
Stuart And George?
She gave it to him, and he tore it up.
Stuart He did?
Yeah. I'd give ya the pieces, but Mr. Little set them on fire. I tried to warn ya, Stuart. I told ya it wasn't gonna work out.
Stuart I should've known. It was too good to be true.
What're you gonna do now?
Stuart I don't know. I guess I'll just...
Leave immediately? Good idea. I'll tell the family you dropped by. Although, it'll probably just make 'em sick.
Stuart Bye, Snowbell.
Goodbye, buddy. This is... killing me.
Hey, Snow! One of the guys spotted Stuart in the park. Smokey sent me to get you.
Ah, gee, Monty, uh, I'm in for the night. It's late. Besides, Stuart is gone. Can't we just give the kid a break?
Of course we could give him a break. First we'll break his little arms, then his little legs, and then we'll take a break. First we gotta find him. Come on, we gotta run!
Why do we have to run? What is it, festival seating?
[Later, as the cats run through Central Park]
Come on! Come on! I think we're getting closer. I can smell him.
Sorry, Smokey, that was me.
Didn't your mothers warn you not to go into Central Park at night?
My mother was the reason you didn't go into Central Park at night.
Yeah, you tell them, Smokey.
Yeah, she was one tough broad.
She was a saint.
There are mouse-prints going everywhere.
How we gonna find him?
We'll split up and go in different directions.
What a brain.
That is why he is gatto d tutti I gatti.
[stopping]
You guys go ahead. I'll just collapse right here. [seeing Stuart] Stuart, is that you? What are you doing up there?
Stuart Oh, I'm... settling in.
Look, Stuart, you gotta get outta here. This is Central Park. It's dark out. There are hungry cats all over the place.
Hey, Snow, where are you? Come out, come out, whatever you are.
Stuart Look. It's your pal, Monty. What's he doing here?
Shhh! He'll hear you.
Stuart Why shouldn't he hear me?
Hello! Snowbell! Buddy! What're you doing up there?
Oh, no. Perfect.
Hey! You found him. Attaboy! Hey, everybody! Over here! Hey, guys! Snow found him!
Nice going, house cat. Just for that, when we carve up the mouse, you get the big half.
Stuart Big half? Snowbell, what's he talking about? Do--do you know those cats?
Well, not really. We went to a few parties, but...
What's the matter? What are you waiting for?
Come on, buddy, bring him down. I'm starving.
Stuart Snowbell...
Sorry, kid.
Stuart Snowbell, wait, no! Stop! Wait, no! No, put me down!
Hit me! I'm open! I'll break his fall with my mouth.
Stuart I guess you do know them.
Hey, let him go. I can almost taste him. What are you waiting for? Hey, where are you going?
He's hogging the mouse. He ain't sharing.
Get him!
He's getting away!
Let's get him!
Go, go!
Stuart Snowbell, wait. Watch it, watch it. Where are you going?
Hey, hold that branch for me.
Stuart Ow. Get out of my face.
Get him!
Stuart [Snowbell sits Stuart down on a branch]
Snowbell, you saved me?
Yeah, yeah. Look, let's get one thing straight: I'm doing this for the Littles, all right? They love you. George loves you. They're all miserable without you.
Stuart [surprised]
But, Snowbell, you said--
I know what I said, I... I lied, okay?! Welcome to Manhattan! I'm the one that hates you.
Stuart [smiles]
Oh, Snowbell. You do care. [hugs his front leg]
Ugh. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, that's enough.
[arriving with the other cats]
Snow, what's he doing to your leg? I can't help but think this is wrong.
What the hell's going on here?
Err... look, Smokey, uh, call me fickle, but... I want to call this whole thing off, okay?
Too late.
Come on, Smokey, can't we talk it over? See, Stuart's not so bad once you get to know him, and he's got his own car.
Careful, house cat. You're asking for it.
Snow, what are you doing? Come on, he's just a mouse.
He's not just a mouse! He's... he's... [looks at Stuart, then at the cats] he's family.
Oh, yeah! [laughing hysterically] I could see the resemblance! [he and the other cats laugh hysterically]
Stuart [angrily]
Is that what you think? You have to look alike to be family? [the cats abruptly stop laughing, surprised that Stuart would say that] You don't have to look alike. You don't even have to like each other. Look at Snowbell - he hates me, and still, he's trying to save me. Sure, you'll probably scratch him up pretty bad. You'd tear him to shreds. You may even kill him. [Snowbell gulps] But Snowbell will not run away, and that is what family is all about. Right? Snow? [looks up to him]
Scratch 'em both.
Both?!
Stuart [unbuckles Snowbell's collar]
Hey, it's me you want! Come and get me!
Here we go!
Let me at him!
Go, go!
Get him!
Hey, over there. Hurry up. Over there.
Let's go.
Watch it. Out of my way!
Get him! He's getting away!
Where is he? Did he fall in the water?
I don't know. I saw something hit.
Man, did you see that? Gone. He just disappeared. Hey, there he is!
Huh?
Up there! He's too far. I can't reach him.
Stuart In that case, you can all go home. Prowl safely.
Here you go, boys. Dinner's served.
All right, Smokey. Way to go!
Stuart Oh, dear.
Look. It's mouse on a stick. I love mouse on a stick.
A little further. Keep him coming. Keep him coming. I can almost reach him. Keep it coming. I got him. He's mine.
[The cats try to swipe at Stuart, but they miss, and the branch they're on starts to break]
Hey, what the...?! The branch is gonna... !
Snow, don't come out here, the branch is breaking!
Stuart! Are you all right?
Stuart Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Just hang on. I'll take it from here.
Huh? Take what?
[Snowbell pushes down on the branch more heavily, scaring the cats]
Hey! Come on, Snow. You wouldn't do this to me. Not your old buddy.
Don't worry, "buddy". I'm sure you'll land...
Hey!
...on...
Hey! Snow!
...your...
What are you doing? No! No, wait, stop! Wait, I gotta ask you something.
...feet!
[He pushes the tree branch until it breaks off, and Monty, Lucky, Red and an unnamed gray cat scream and fall into the water]
Cold! Cold! Cold water, oh!
I can't swim!
Dog paddle!
Dog paddle? I'd rather drown.
Oh, man, I'll be licking myself for days. [shakes the water off of him and shivers]
How could he do this to me? After all we've meant to each other? [panting] I mean, I love that guy. And-- Oh, hey, you guys! Wait up for me!
Stuart Thanks, Snowbell. You were great.
Well, it must've been quite a show from up there.
Stuart [Suddenly, Smokey comes up behind Snowbell] [clears throat]
Snowbell?
Stuart Snowbell?
I guess I showed them! Ha! Not bad for a house cat! [laughs]
Not bad for a dead house cat. [Snowbell whimpers fearfully. Stuart climbs to the tree. Snowbell turns to Smokey fearfully] Say good night, Tinker Bell.
Stuart [Snowbell gulps]
Hey, Smokey! [Smokey looks in Stuart's direction] His name...is Snowbell!
[Stuart releases grip of the tree branch he is holding onto; it flies up and strikes Smokey in the face, knocking him off his own branch and sending him falling into the river] [shivering]
Oh, this water's damn cold! [gets out of the water] I can't believe this! [shakes the water off of him] Beaten by a mouse and his pet cat. What could be worse?! [suddenly, barking dogs are heard in the distance and they chase Smokey, offscreen] Oh! Oh, nice doggies! No! NOOOOOOOO...!
Stuart Tsk tsk tsk. Little high, little low.
Little hey, little ho. [sighs] Let's go home.
Other characters in Stuart Little
Eleanor Little
Snowbell
Nathan Lane
Frederick Little
George Little
Jonathan Lipnicki
Smokey
Chazz Palminteri
Monty
Steve Zahn
Lucky
Jim Doughan
Reginald Scout
Camille Scout
Red
David Alan Grier
Mrs. Keeper
Julia Sweeney
Dr. Beechwood
Dabney Coleman
Uncle Crenshaw
Jeffrey Jones
Uncle Stretch
Patrick Thomas O'Brien
Snowbell
Nathan Lane
Frederick Little
George Little
Jonathan Lipnicki
Smokey
Chazz Palminteri
Monty
Steve Zahn
Lucky
Jim Doughan
Reginald Scout
Camille Scout
Red
David Alan Grier
Mrs. Keeper
Julia Sweeney
Dr. Beechwood
Dabney Coleman
Uncle Crenshaw
Jeffrey Jones
Uncle Stretch
Patrick Thomas O'Brien
