Saddam Hussein quotes from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
Played by Matt Stone
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Saddam Hussein: Oh, boy! I'm so excited! Just one more day until we take over the world! I don't know if I can sleep, if you know what I mean.
Satan: [reading "Saddam Hussein is From Mars, Satan is From Venus"] This book is really interesting. It explains how people communicate differently, like how I communicate by wanting you to ask me questions, and then you--
Saddam Hussein: Hey, that is interesting! Let's ****!
Satan: [disgusted] Saddam! I'm trying to have a nice conversation with you!
Saddam Hussein: [pulls out a fake dildo from under the covers] Hey, Satan!
Satan: Oh! N-Now that is just not appropriate!
Saddam Hussein: Oh, come on, I'm just **** with you, it's not real! [throws the fake dildo away]
Satan: Oh, well, that's still not appropriate.
Saddam Hussein: [pulls out another fake dildo] Hey, Satan--
Satan: Ah!
Saddam Hussein: Hey, [throws the other fake dildo away] it's not real either! Come on, guy! [Satan gets up from the bed and exits the room]
Satan: [reading "Saddam Hussein is From Mars, Satan is From Venus"] This book is really interesting. It explains how people communicate differently, like how I communicate by wanting you to ask me questions, and then you--
Saddam Hussein: Hey, that is interesting! Let's ****!
Satan: [disgusted] Saddam! I'm trying to have a nice conversation with you!
Saddam Hussein: [pulls out a fake dildo from under the covers] Hey, Satan!
Satan: Oh! N-Now that is just not appropriate!
Saddam Hussein: Oh, come on, I'm just **** with you, it's not real! [throws the fake dildo away]
Satan: Oh, well, that's still not appropriate.
Saddam Hussein: [pulls out another fake dildo] Hey, Satan--
Satan: Ah!
Saddam Hussein: Hey, [throws the other fake dildo away] it's not real either! Come on, guy! [Satan gets up from the bed and exits the room]
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General Plymkin: Battalion 5, raise your hands. [Battalion 5, made up entirely of African-Americans, including Chef, does so] You will be the all important first attack wave, which we will call "Operation: Human Shield".
Chef: [outraged] Hey, wait a minute!
General Plymkin: Now keep in mind Operation: Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. Battalion 14? [Battalion 14, comprised entirely of Caucasians, raises their hands] Right, you are "Operation: Get Behind the Darkies". You will follow Battalion 5 here, and try not to get killed for God's sake! Are there any questions, men? [Chef raises his hand] Yes, soldier?
Chef: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General Plymkin: I don't listen to hip-hop. After that, we will march into the heart of Canada, and we will-- [map begins wigging out, Saddam's visage begins to take over the hologram]
Saddam Hussein: [tauntingly] Comin' to get ya. Comin' to get ya.
General Plymkin: What's wrong with this thing? [hologram shorts out] **** Windows 98! Get Bill Gates in here! [Gates enters via soldiers] You told us Windows '98 would be faster and more efficient, with better access to the Internet!
Bill Gates: It is faster, over five million-- [the General shoots Gates in the face]
General Plymkin: All right, men! Get lots of rest, and prepare to fight the Canadian scum! [soldiers cheer]
Chef: [outraged] Hey, wait a minute!
General Plymkin: Now keep in mind Operation: Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. Battalion 14? [Battalion 14, comprised entirely of Caucasians, raises their hands] Right, you are "Operation: Get Behind the Darkies". You will follow Battalion 5 here, and try not to get killed for God's sake! Are there any questions, men? [Chef raises his hand] Yes, soldier?
Chef: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General Plymkin: I don't listen to hip-hop. After that, we will march into the heart of Canada, and we will-- [map begins wigging out, Saddam's visage begins to take over the hologram]
Saddam Hussein: [tauntingly] Comin' to get ya. Comin' to get ya.
General Plymkin: What's wrong with this thing? [hologram shorts out] **** Windows 98! Get Bill Gates in here! [Gates enters via soldiers] You told us Windows '98 would be faster and more efficient, with better access to the Internet!
Bill Gates: It is faster, over five million-- [the General shoots Gates in the face]
General Plymkin: All right, men! Get lots of rest, and prepare to fight the Canadian scum! [soldiers cheer]
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Kenny: [muffled] Satan, you've got to do something!
Satan: [sadly] I can't.
Saddam Hussein: Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing.
Cartman: [angrily] Hey! Don't call me fat, butt-****er!
[He shoots pent-up electrical charges out of his fingers, which sends a demon flying into a rock. Cartman suddenly gets an idea and smiles]
Kyle: Yeah, Cartman. Do it!
Cartman: DAMN, SHIT! RESPECT MY **** AUTHORITAH!
[Shoots electricity at Saddam Hussein, attacking him]
Saddam Hussein: [getting electrocuted] Aaggh!
Cartman: Yes!
Saddam Hussein: Hey, you need to watch your mouth, brat.
Cartman: DOG-SHIT TACO! [attacks Saddam Hussein more, much to everyone's surprise]
Saddam: [gets electrocuted] AAAHH! [falls back on the snow and bounces.] Quick, Satan, do something!
Cartman: Try this on for size. [inhales deeply] BLOOD-DRENCHED FROZEN TAMPON POPSICLE!
[Attacks Saddam Hussein more]
Saddam Hussein: Hey, buddy! I know I was mean before, but don't worry; I can change!
Satan: [in shock] Oh!
Cartman: Okay. [Saddam Hussein smiles evilly, people gasp in horror] Not! [takes a deep breath] ****, SHIT, ****, ASS, TITTIES, BONER, BITCH, MUFF, PUSSY, ****, BUTTHOLE, BARBRA STREISAND!!!!!!!!! [shoots electricity at Saddam Hussein, who is flown into a rock and severely electrocuted]
Saddam Hussein: [howls in pain, but amid the howls as Satan is horrified] Relax, guy! [To Satan] What are you waiting for, bitch? Destroy him! [Cartman gets startled, then Satan looks back at Saddam in confusion] Come on, you weak, stupid ****-bucket! Save me!
Satan: [enraged] THAT'S IT!!!!! [Picks up Saddam Hussein] I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!!!!
[He throws Saddam Hussein back into Hell]
Saddam Hussein: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! HEY, GUY! RELAAAAAAAAX!!!! [Saddam Hussein is impaled on a spiky rock, then he sighs in agony and he dies]
Satan: [sadly] I can't.
Saddam Hussein: Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing.
Cartman: [angrily] Hey! Don't call me fat, butt-****er!
[He shoots pent-up electrical charges out of his fingers, which sends a demon flying into a rock. Cartman suddenly gets an idea and smiles]
Kyle: Yeah, Cartman. Do it!
Cartman: DAMN, SHIT! RESPECT MY **** AUTHORITAH!
[Shoots electricity at Saddam Hussein, attacking him]
Saddam Hussein: [getting electrocuted] Aaggh!
Cartman: Yes!
Saddam Hussein: Hey, you need to watch your mouth, brat.
Cartman: DOG-SHIT TACO! [attacks Saddam Hussein more, much to everyone's surprise]
Saddam: [gets electrocuted] AAAHH! [falls back on the snow and bounces.] Quick, Satan, do something!
Cartman: Try this on for size. [inhales deeply] BLOOD-DRENCHED FROZEN TAMPON POPSICLE!
[Attacks Saddam Hussein more]
Saddam Hussein: Hey, buddy! I know I was mean before, but don't worry; I can change!
Satan: [in shock] Oh!
Cartman: Okay. [Saddam Hussein smiles evilly, people gasp in horror] Not! [takes a deep breath] ****, SHIT, ****, ASS, TITTIES, BONER, BITCH, MUFF, PUSSY, ****, BUTTHOLE, BARBRA STREISAND!!!!!!!!! [shoots electricity at Saddam Hussein, who is flown into a rock and severely electrocuted]
Saddam Hussein: [howls in pain, but amid the howls as Satan is horrified] Relax, guy! [To Satan] What are you waiting for, bitch? Destroy him! [Cartman gets startled, then Satan looks back at Saddam in confusion] Come on, you weak, stupid ****-bucket! Save me!
Satan: [enraged] THAT'S IT!!!!! [Picks up Saddam Hussein] I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!!!!
[He throws Saddam Hussein back into Hell]
Saddam Hussein: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! HEY, GUY! RELAAAAAAAAX!!!! [Saddam Hussein is impaled on a spiky rock, then he sighs in agony and he dies]
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