C Cartman
[he, Kyle and Stan walk up to Kenny's corpse]
I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him $100.
Kyle
Come on, Cartman, it's not your fault.
C Cartman
No, I know. I'm just ****in’ stoked I don't have to pay him.
Kyle
[angrily and sarcastically]
Oh, that's real nice! He was your friend, you fat ****!
Sheila
[the boys' mothers barge into the ER.]
So, boys, you saw that movie again?
Sheila
Well, Kyle, I have had it! You are grounded for the next two weeks!
Kyle
[the boys gasp in horror] [shocked]
Grounded?
S Sharon
And you, Stan, come on. [Stan exits, and the other two follow]
L Liane
And you're grounded for three weeks, Eric.
C Cartman
'EY, WHY AM I GROUNDED MORE?! THAT'S **** BULLSHIT!
Sheila
W-W-WHAT?! What was that word, young man?!
V Dr. Vosknocker
The machinery of the V-Chip is very simple. It is placed under the child's skin where it emits a small shock of electricity whenever an obscenity is uttered.
R Randy
Now, uh, wait a minute. This chip somehow knows if the child is swearing?
V Dr. Vosknocker
It's just like a lie detector, you see? Certain things happen to you when you swear, just like when you lie. The chip picks up on this, and gives the subject a little prick. [to Cartman] Patient B-5, would you step out here, please? [Cartman comes out.] Patient B-5 here has been fitted with the new V-Chip.
C Cartman
[rubs his head in pain]
Oh, my head hurts.
V Dr. Vosknocker
Don't worry about that. Now, I want you to say "doggy".
C Cartman
[nonchalantly]
Doggy.
V Dr. Vosknocker
[to parents]
Notice that nothing happens. [to Cartman] Now say "Montana".
V Dr. Vosknocker
Good. Now "pillow".
V Dr. Vosknocker
All right, now I want you to say "horse ****er".
L Liane
[Cartman hesitates]
Go ahead, Eric. It's all right.
C Cartman
Horse fu-- [gets shocked] 'AAAH!!' Yiii!! [crowd gasps] That hurt, Godda-- [gets shocked] AIII! OW! ****! [gets shocked] Aghh!!
V Dr. Vosknocker
Now I'd like you to say, "Big Floppy Donkey Dick".
V Dr. Vosknocker
Success! The child doesn't want to swear!
C Cartman
[angrily]
This isn't fair, you sons of bitches! [gets shocked repeatedly as he continues shouting in pain]
Sheila
We will start putting V-Chips in all our children next week!
[audience cheers]
S Sharon
[worried]
My God. This is terrible!
Sheila
[proudly]
This is what we wanted! We wanted our children to be brought up in a smut-free environment!
S Sharon
But we didn't want this!
Sheila
[the moms walk out]
Where are you going?
S Sharon
[angrily]
We're going to find our boys! For God's sake, Sheila, we're going to get them killed!
