Dr. Vosknocker : The machinery of the V-Chip is very simple. It is placed under the child's skin where it emits a small shock of electricity whenever an obscenity is uttered. Randy : Now, uh, wait a minute. This chip somehow knows if the child is swearing? Dr. Vosknocker : It's just like a lie detector, you see? Certain things happen to you when you swear, just like when you lie. The chip picks up on this, and gives the subject a little prick. [to Cartman] Patient B-5, would you step out here, please? [Cartman comes out.] Patient B-5 here has been fitted with the new V-Chip. Cartman : [rubs his head in pain] Oh, my head hurts. Dr. Vosknocker : Don't worry about that. Now, I want you to say "doggy". Cartman : [nonchalantly] Doggy. Dr. Vosknocker : [to parents] Notice that nothing happens. [to Cartman] Now say "Montana". Cartman : Montana. Dr. Vosknocker : Good. Now "pillow". Cartman : Pillow. Dr. Vosknocker : All right, now I want you to say "horse ****er". [Cartman hesitates] Liane : Go ahead, Eric. It's all right. Cartman : Horse fu-- [gets shocked] 'AAAH!! ' Yiii!! [crowd gasps] That hurt, Godda-- [gets shocked] AIII! OW! ****! [gets shocked] Aghh!! Dr. Vosknocker : Now I'd like you to say, "Big Floppy Donkey Dick". Cartman : [angrily] NO! Dr. Vosknocker : Success! The child doesn't want to swear! Cartman : [angrily] This isn't fair, you sons of bitches! [gets shocked repeatedly as he continues shouting in pain] Sheila : We will start putting V-Chips in all our children next week! [audience cheers]

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