Battalion 5, raise your hands. [Battalion 5, made up entirely of African-Americans, including Chef, does so] You will be the all important first attack wave, which we will call "Operation: Human Shield".

Hey, wait a minute!

Now keep in mind Operation: Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. Battalion 14? [Battalion 14, comprised entirely of Caucasians, raises their hands] Right, you are "Operation: Get Behind the Darkies". You will follow Battalion 5 here, and try not to get killed for God's sake! Are there any questions, men? [Chef raises his hand] Yes, soldier?

Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?

I don't listen to hip-hop. After that, we will march into the heart of Canada, and we will-- [map begins wigging out, Saddam's visage begins to take over the hologram]

Saddam Hussein

Comin' to get ya. Comin' to get ya.

What's wrong with this thing? [hologram shorts out] **** Windows 98! Get Bill Gates in here! [Gates enters via soldiers] You told us Windows '98 would be faster and more efficient, with better access to the Internet!

It is faster, over five million-- [the General shoots Gates in the face]

All right, men! Get lots of rest, and prepare to fight the Canadian scum! [soldiers cheer]