“Yeah! Waffles! And I thought the Waffle Fairy was just a bedtime...” – Donkey, Shrek Forever After ... Movie Quotes Database

Donkey

[Donkey started sniffing the ground in the forest like a bloodhound, and to his surprise and happiness, he saw an unguarded plate of stacked waffles coated in syrup sitting on a stump.]

Yeah! Waffles! And I thought the Waffle Fairy was just a bedtime story. [rushes up to plate] Sticky stacks of golden, syrupy deliciousness!

Shrek

Donkey! [Points Donkey] Don't eat that! [Donkey stopped and frowned.] There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest. Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious? [Donkey trying to take a little nibble of the waffles, but Shrek kept protesting against it.] I’m just... What are you...? Bad Donkey! Mustn't--I said, don’t! Don't! No! Get away from it! [Donkey extended his tongue out and licked the dripping syrup of the waffles.] You did.

Donkey

[Then, without warning, the plate flung the waffles onto a tree. Donkey quickly realized it was a trap.]

Uh-oh.

Shrek

[The stump flipped open like a lid and looked at the hole, rather confused because it didn't seem like an effective trap to him. However, that was not the full trap. Shrek glanced around, seeing hidden pulleys and counterweights turning, and then a log came swinging out in the direction of the two.] [ducks]

Look out!

Shrek

[But Donkey didn't duck in time, as he got hit in the end by the log, sending him into the hole. The ogre ran up to the hole, lifted the lid, seeing Donkey lying there.]

Donkey! Are you OK?

Donkey

I'm fine. [But then his hooves got snagged by a rope trap and he was yanked away, screaming.]

Shrek

Donkey. [leaped into the hole and saw it led to a tunnel, and because it was small to walk through, he had to army crawl through it.]

Donkey

Help! Help me! Help, Shrek! Help!
[Then he came out through the other end, pushing the roots, and when getting up, he was awestruck at where he was. He was in some hidden camp with ogres like him roaming about, carrying stuff and doing chores. He wandered around in amazement, looking at the sights, making him grin a bit. A blacksmith ogre was sharpening a tool, and a female ogre was carrying an anvil of some sort. As Shrek kept wandering, two ogres carrying a log were coming from behind him.]

Ogre #1

Watch your head.

Ogre #2

[He then ducked, letting the two ogres lift the log over him. Then three ogres, including a female one named Gretched, came around him.]

Hey, it's a new guy!

Ogre #3

Look at him, all dressed up in his Sunday vest.

Gretched

He's really tiny, isn’t he?

Ogre #2

Yeah.

Brogan

[Then, a slender ogre taller than Shrek, Brogan, came behind our main ogre, putting his arm around him.]

Fate has delivered us a comrade-in-arms and for that, we are thankful. Suit him up!

Ogre #3

[The other ogres then took Shrek to get suited up.]

Let's go, greenie.

Shrek

Now, wait a minute! [He was placed in an armored vest, along with some wrist bands, and a helmet. One ogre smacked him in the rear to get him going.] Hey!

Brogan

Here you go.

Brogan

[An axe was tossed into Shrek's arms, which Shrek luckily caught. Three ogres each threw an axe at three different dummies wearing witches' clothes. One ogre even tackled a witch dummy and brawled with it. Shrek]

Welcome to the resistance.

Shrek

[confused]

Resistance?

Brogan

[puts arm around Shrek]

We fight for freedom and ogres everywhere! [He then held his nose and started blowing a horn-like sound through his ears, and then all the other ogres held their noses and blew through their ears. When the blowing was done, the resistance ogres hooted and laughed while Shrek was even more stunned than already.]

Shrek

[about soldiers using their horn]

I didn't know we could do that.

Donkey

Help! You can't eat me! I got the mange! I'm poisonous! I'm all poi...

Shrek

I'll take him! This order's to go.

Cookie

Hey! I haven't removed his giblets yet.

Shrek

Trust me, you don't wanna eat this one.

Donkey

I go down smooth, but come out fighting!

Shrek

Let go!

Cookie

Don't make Papa mad.

Shrek

Your dinner is my friend!

Brogan

Come on, guys!

Cookie

I got to get the giblets out!

Ogres

She's back. [Shrek turned and saw a figure arriving on the hill, who was clad in a helmet and armor, and holding an axe in her hand. She removed her helmet and revealed herself to be none other than Fiona (in ogre form). She stood there, with the wind blowing her hair, giving it a dramatic flair. When Shrek saw her, he grinned with such relief.]

Shrek

[happily]

Fiona! [hands axe to one of the ogres, begins running up to her, Fiona spots him] I'm so happy I found you!

Princess Fiona

[Fiona kicks him in the jaw and sends him flying, yelling in slow motion, before crashing to the ground. The ogres winced, while some couldn't help but chuckle a bit. The groaning Shrek got up.] [walked up to him, handing her axe to Gretched.]

Maybe you missed orientation, [her helmet to Brogan.] but for future reference, personal space is very important to me.

Shrek

[Shrek looked very worried at her] [confused]

You don't know who I am, do you?

Princess Fiona

No. [to Brogan] Brogan, I have news from Far Far Away. Gather the others and meet me in the war room. [Brogan agreed]

Shrek

[pleaded]

Fiona.

Princess Fiona

[to Gretched]

Gretched, make sure everyone is prepared to move out tonight.

Shrek

I need to talk to you.

Princess Fiona

[turns on Shrek, annoyed]

What is it?!

Shrek

[calmly]

OK, I know you don’t remember me, but... we’re married. [Needless to say, Fiona gave a confused look as he recapped the incident at the birthday party.] Hear me out. And at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet, the villagers wanted me to sign their pitchforks, [As he explained and tried making it sound as believable as he could, Brogan and Gretched were equally as confused as Fiona.] and this boy kept saying, [as Butterpants] "Do the roar. Do the roar." Then I punched the cakes that the pigs ate, and the next thing I knew, my donkey fell in your waffle hole. [Needless to say as well, pretty much all ogres were completely dumbstruck, and so was Donkey.] Right? Who’s with me?

Princess Fiona

Wow, [chuckles a bit] I guess I must have kicked him harder than I thought.

Shrek

[The ogres in the resistance laughed a bit.] [pleading]

Fiona, I need to...

Princess Fiona

[But Fiona held his hand up, as a lookout ogre was perched on a lookout, making "caw" sounds.]

Witches! All right, everyone, you know the drill! [She and the other ogres [except Shrek] went to their battle stations.]

Shrek

Fiona!

Donkey

Witches! Oh, no! Witches! Witches!

Shrek

[grabbed Donkey and the sticks he was still attached to.]

Come on, now.
[Some ogres quickly cut ropes to seal the large hiding holes and dropped sandbags to extinguish the fires. They secured weapons in a net and a few concealed themselves in a hole underground. Others, wearing rocks and plants on their heads, submerged in the swamp water, while Fiona, Brogan, and the remaining ogres, disguised with bushes, crouched around Shrek’s hiding spot. Shrek covered the whimpering Donkey’s mouth as three witches flew overhead on broomsticks. The lead witch glanced down but saw no ogres or camp, then sneered and flew off to Rumpelstiltskin's castle. Once they left, the ogres emerged from hiding and murmured as they returned to their posts.]

Brogan

Fiona, that's the third patrol today. We can’t hide forever.

Princess Fiona

Trust me, Brogan. After tonight, we won’t have to.

Donkey

[Shrek and Donkey just sat where they were.] [to Shrek]

That's your wife?

Shrek

That’s my wife.

Donkey

Well, I see who wears the chainmail in your family! [Shrek gave a weird look at him.]

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