Mac quotes from Neighbors (2014)

View Quote Bill: Uh-oh. Mac attack.
Mac: Hey!
Bill: Hey, there he is.
Mac: Hey.
Bill: I need that Mendelson file by 4:00.
Mac: Okay, yeah.
Bill: And this is not your bro, this is your boss talking. (chuckles)
Mac: I’ll have it to you by 3:00. How’s that?
Jimmy: Mac! Mac!
Bill: Okay.
Mac: What?
Jimmy: Wait. Hold on. Whoo!
Mac: Okay!
Jimmy: (panting) Oh, jeez, it’s so far. Hey, we gotta go work on that thing we were discussing.
Mac: What thing?
Bill: What’s going on?
Jimmy: We have to go work on that joint file.
Mac: Of course. The joint file.
Bill: You guys are doing a joint file?
Mac: We have a joint file together.
Jimmy: Yeah. We’re pretty deep into it. It’s tight. It’s pretty thick.
Mac: It’s a big file. Pretty fat file.
Jimmy: It’s dank.
Mac: We should blaze through it, probably.
Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah, we gotta file that for the THC Corporation.
Bill: Okay.
Jimmy: Because we are in the weeds.

View Quote Mac: There are the girls.
Kelly: Hi.
Mac: How’s it going, sweetie?
Kelly: Good.
Mac: What’s happening?
Kelly: There you go. (She passes Stella over to him) She’s excited to see you.
Mac: Wait, wait. Hey. (babbles) Man, parenting is easy. Look at that!
Kelly: Yeah, two hours a day.
Mac: Yeah.

View Quote Stella: (babbling)
Mac: Huh?
Kelly: Hmm?
Mac: We fell asleep.
Kelly: Let’s go. Let’s go.
Mac: Okay, let’s go.
Kelly: We’ll go now.
Mac: Wait. Shit! Another video.
Paula: (on the phone video) Best night ever. Look at how much food I just ordered.
Girl: I’m not even hungry. It’s so wasteful!
Mac: We missed it. (He ends the video call)
Mac: Shit! Don’t hit me.
Kelly: I’m so tired.
Mac: I know. Let’s just go to sleep.

View Quote Mac: They’re actually really good. They taste like vanilla, kinda. They’re awesome.
Kelly: Pudgie, what do you got there?

View Quote Mac: Hey. What’s nice is in a few years, we’ll have a third person to help us do this.
Mac: Hey. What do you got there, sweetie? Is that a balloon? Did you find a balloon? (But it turns out to be a condom) Oh, shit! That’s not a balloon! (He throws it to Kelly) Oh, jesus!
Kelly: (screams)

View Quote Kelly: This is our home!
Mac: It’s our home!
Kelly: This is out little cub on our lawn with a condom in her mouth. Oh, my God. I’m a mama bear.
Mac: Yes, you are.
Kelly: You know what? I’m gonna act all docile and then… (She roars)
Mac: (He roars) My claws are out! I’m gonna **** get them!
Kelly: (hissing)
Mac: **** these **** guys! They don’t know who they are **** with. They think I’m just a regular dad and then you know what happens? Boom! Boom! Teddy’s dead! Pete’s dead! Scoonie’s dead! **** you!
Kelly: No, no.
Mac: I’ll **** kill them!
Kelly: No, no.
Mac: Boom!
Kelly: No. Yes!
Mac: I’m buying a **** gun!
Kelly: No, you’re not!
Mac: I’m not buying a gun! You’re right, it’s a bad idea.
Kelly: Bad call.
Mac: What about one of those small prostitute guns?
Kelly: No. You’re not buying a gun.
Mac: (exhales) ****!
Kelly: What can we do? That **** Dean. What woman is named “Dean”?
Mac: She’s not named “Dean.” That’s her job.
Kelly: What?
Mac: That’s what “dean” is here.
Kelly: No. Really?
Mac: Yeah. What did you think?
Kelly: I thought that was her name.
Mac: No.
Kelly: Oh, no.
Mac: What do they call in Australia?
Kelly: “Chancellor.”
Mac: No, she’s the chancellor.
Kelly: Oh, my God. I was so rude to her.
Mac: I don’t know what to do.
Kelly: What do we know?
Mac: What didn’t we have in college?
Kelly: I didn’t have any money.
Mac: I had no money either.
Kelly: We had no money. They’re broke. They don’t have any money.
Mac: We **** with their house. They can’t afford to fix it.
Kelly: Yes.
Mac: They have to move.
Kelly: Yeah, **** them!
Mac: **** them! We’re gonna **** **** them!
Kelly: **** them!
Mac: We are gonna **** them!
Kelly: **** them!