Neighbors (2014) · 11 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Neighbors (2014): in 5 of its 11 quotes
Most scenes with: Mac (5)
There are the girls.
Kelly Hi.
How’s it going, sweetie?
Kelly Good.
What’s happening?
Kelly There you go. (She passes Stella over to him) She’s excited to see you.
Wait, wait. Hey. (babbles) Man, parenting is easy. Look at that!
Kelly Yeah, two hours a day.
Yeah.
Huh?
Kelly Hmm?
We fell asleep.
Kelly Let’s go. Let’s go.
Okay, let’s go.
Kelly We’ll go now.
Wait. Shit! Another video.
Best night ever. Look at how much food I just ordered.
I’m not even hungry. It’s so wasteful!
We missed it. (He ends the video call)
Shit! Don’t hit me.
Kelly I’m so tired.
I know. Let’s just go to sleep.
They’re actually really good. They taste like vanilla, kinda. They’re awesome.
Kelly Pudgie, what do you got there?
Hey. What’s nice is in a few years, we’ll have a third person to help us do this.
Hey. What do you got there, sweetie? Is that a balloon? Did you find a balloon? (But it turns out to be a condom) Oh, shit! That’s not a balloon! (He throws it to Kelly) Oh, jesus!
Kelly Kelly This is our home!
It’s our home!
Kelly This is out little cub on our lawn with a condom in her mouth. Oh, my God. I’m a mama bear.
Yes, you are.
Kelly You know what? I’m gonna act all docile and then… (She roars)
Kelly **** these **** guys! They don’t know who they are **** with. They think I’m just a regular dad and then you know what happens? Boom! Boom! Teddy’s dead! Pete’s dead! Scoonie’s dead! **** you!
Kelly No, no.
I’ll **** kill them!
Kelly No, no.
Boom!
Kelly No. Yes!
I’m buying a **** gun!
Kelly No, you’re not!
I’m not buying a gun! You’re right, it’s a bad idea.
Kelly Bad call.
What about one of those small prostitute guns?
Kelly No. You’re not buying a gun.
Kelly What can we do? That **** Dean. What woman is named “Dean”?
She’s not named “Dean.” That’s her job.
Kelly What?
That’s what “dean” is here.
Kelly No. Really?
Yeah. What did you think?
Kelly I thought that was her name.
No.
Kelly Oh, no.
What do they call in Australia?
Kelly “Chancellor.”
No, she’s the chancellor.
Kelly Oh, my God. I was so rude to her.
I don’t know what to do.
Kelly What do we know?
What didn’t we have in college?
Kelly I didn’t have any money.
I had no money either.
Kelly We had no money. They’re broke. They don’t have any money.
We **** with their house. They can’t afford to fix it.
Kelly Yes.
They have to move.
Kelly Yeah, **** them!
**** them! We’re gonna **** **** them!
Kelly **** them!
We are gonna **** them!
Kelly **** them!
